Live From New York
Business As Usual
One last round with Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods withdrawing from golf to work on his family problems was a brilliant maneuver. He went from a place where any person from pundit to straphanger who was able to put together a cohesive sentence tried to outdo each other in efforts to revile him, but now root for him to succeed. America loves second acts and soon the clamor for him to return to golf will be deafening.
Initially, Woods violated P.R. 101 -- you must get ahead of the story not like Woods, bleeding day after day in the nation's media, becoming the subject of late night TV comics, and standing by helplessly as paramour after paramour popped up. His, what charitably could be called, love life became like a bakery: "Take a number. Next."
Woods makes (or made) approximately $117 million a year from golf, but $100 million of that came from endorsements. These will ultimately be toast -- all of them. From what the ladies in question explained, he could not even become a spokesman for condoms.
His surviving endorsements could not drop him now since they are in the midst of advertising campaigns, not to mention possible backlash from still-remaining fans, and there is, of course, the folk myth of not hitting a guy when he is down (tactically, it is probably the best time). The companies will wait until the termination of the contracts -- nowadays sports endorsement contracts are of short duration and they all have moral clauses -- elsewise they would face the wrath of pious shareholders from the Midwest (or wherever piety dwells) at annual shareholder meetings.
Woods tried to buy peace, by upping the ante on another front -- his wife -- to buy her silence, but he miscalculated the serial appearances of different women (one wonders when he got the time to play golf). But Jackie Mason explained that Clinton could spend 20 minutes committing adultery, and he had the rest of the day to be President.
People fail to understand that an adulterer's business is adultery. It is not an addiction and not a sickness; it is a character flaw. Doctors tell alcoholics trying to break the habit to remember how ill and sick they felt the morning after. Adulterers feel fine the morning after. They had exercise and adulation and no conscience to trouble them.
The future: Mrs. Woods will hang on for another two years to reap the benefits of a pre-nuptial agreement that has now been transferred into a post-nuptial agreement. Tiger Woods will go back to golf and adultery (perhaps more selective and secretive in his choice of partners) and the public will suffer from their usual communal amnesia.
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Jocular Yank| 12.22.09 @ 7:18AM
Life is funny. Earl's son should have applied the rules of golf to his life.
Appleby| 12.22.09 @ 7:26AM
The tacit belief among men seems to be that it is a good idea to foster the belief that men simply cannot forego sex with everything that moves, because if you do not have sex every day, you will die.
Therefore, it is not the fault of the men in any way; they are victims of overwhelming sexual urges and that is simply the way it is.
This has become so commonplace in some circles that now there is an industry among the Jackpot Jills who have made a business of seeking out these uncontrolled and uncontrollable sexual athletes and seeking the Jackpot that will inevitably occur when the stuff hits the Westinghouse and the guy pays up, either in publicity that boosts the girls careers and gets their names and faces (and boobies) before the public, or in actual cash should the Jackpot include a baby.
Business is business, right?
TennesseeVolunteer| 12.22.09 @ 8:54AM
Jackie and Raoul, a lot of us out here are not as shallow as you think, I won't forget. Go Phil!
Phil was always my favorite golfer, a mistake prone Everyman.
Pete| 12.22.09 @ 9:43AM
Poor Infideldrick.
scott| 12.22.09 @ 9:59AM
1. "Tiger" is a cute, innocent, pretty much "white" nickname, like "The Gipper".
2. He doesn't "act black"...i.e., doesn't strut, act ghetto, etc.
3. He's not a drug addict.
Therefore, if his name (not trying to be cute here) was Jamal Woods, he acted even a little more "ghetto", blamed infidelity on drugs, etc., did the apology circuit on Oprah, etc., I think there would be less gloating, less coming forward of women, and possibly Jesse Jackson would imply to the media that it is racist to drag him through the mud. There might be less pressure to divorce.
Tiger, therefore, is anything but a victim. As serial philaderers go in entertainment, sports, and politics, Tiger's a cut above; he's probably not a drug addict, nor will blame drugs (I'd bet a lawyer recently asked him to do so..."C'mom Tiger--It'd make things a whole lot easier, cheaper"). He's also not easily categorized as authentically "black."
This all reminds me of the recently-resurrected, brilliant Charles Murray article about ecumenical niceness. The media, the elites, etc., would not judge Tiger as much if he were more of a victim, more "black".
Tim| 12.22.09 @ 10:15AM
For a supposedly smart man, Tiger sure let a bunch of blue collar waitresses get the best of him.
Jeff| 12.22.09 @ 2:03PM
I do not see what people expected of him.Tiger is just a man after all and if he had not been making 117 million a year I do not belive that the current Mrs.Woods would have looked at him twice.If I am wrong why did she think he needed a prenup?The money of course.
BD57| 12.22.09 @ 7:48PM
I think you've got it backwards.
The spouse with the money (in this case, Tiger) wants the pre-nup, the purpose of which is to avoid a potential fight over "1/2 of everything."
Jeff| 12.22.09 @ 11:44PM
BD57,you are right.I wrote it backward.The point that I was trying to make was that she certainly knew about his earning potential and the pre-nup should have been a red flag to his potential for not taking his marriage seriously.However,she went for the lifestyle he offered even in the face of that red flag of a pre-nup.
Old Guy| 12.22.09 @ 2:38PM
Well, if he has to quit golf, he should be qualified to spend time with some U.S. Senators - although even he might not be able to meet the going rates there.
Oldefarte| 12.22.09 @ 3:49PM
This is just another case of a black guy who STEPPED INTO IT! They either murder their wife, establish illegal activities [ie dogfighting rings], fall out of pickup trucks being driven by their irate wife, shoot them themselves in the leg inside of a nightclub, molest small children and breakdance while their hair is ablaze,etc; and then the bleeding-heart liberal public goes, OH THAT POOR THING! Limbaugh told the truth about McNabb on MNF years ago, and look what happened to him thereafter. Tiger needs to come out of hiding and tell the truth, but, of course, he won't [they never do]!!!!!!!
Foxy Wizard| 12.22.09 @ 5:52PM
I don't care if Tiger had 100 flings. He isn't in charge of creating or implementing the laws of this country.
Doorgunner| 12.22.09 @ 8:10PM
I didn't give a f**k about Tiger Woods before; I don't give a f**k about Tiger Woods now. The people who made him wealthy are the people who can be manipulated; which includes all the dumbasses anxiously discussing his marital infidelities now.
Is this The American Spectator or People?
FREEDOMFIRST| 12.23.09 @ 5:26PM
I AGREE. WHO CARES? HE'S BORING B/C HE USUALLY WINS.....AGAIN, WHO CARES? THE MOST PUZZLING THING ABOUT HIM IS HOW HE GOT INTO STANFORD AND ACTUALLY GRADUATED????
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Curtis| 12.23.09 @ 6:11AM
I still say he's a classy guy. He has character flaws, but he's still a classy guy.
The libs are mad because they were thinking "Damn, there goes our original Uncle Tom. Why can't he be more like Obama? I mean, marrying a Swede instead of a Sister? Come on! " Their probably also mad because he refuses to say "I'm being unjustly punished because I'm black." The feminists are up in arms, because everything is a "man vs woman" thing to them.
I don't condone what he did, but I think he's handling it the way he should. Admit fault, eat the consequences, and move on.
In the meanwhile, what about the ex? I mean, if I chased my woman down the street swinging cellphones and golf clubs at her, I'd never see the outside of a prison again. I guess she got some brownie points for dragging him out the car after almost killing him.
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Paul| 12.25.09 @ 2:53AM
Oldefarte,
Well, your ignorant bigoted comments justify your name, you jerk.
Oldefarte| 12.27.09 @ 12:40PM
Moron Paul, I'm reminded of the story of Saul, the Roman terrorist whom God knocked off of his horse and echoed: SAUL SAUL, WHY HATH THOU FORSAKEN ME [and thereafter Saul converted and became known later as Saint Paul]. You obviously cannot accept the TRUTH and are a direct example of a POLITICAL CORRECT FOOL [and you and your likeminded imbiciles are the reason why this country is now being run by terrorists who are destroying it day by day]; and you can simply GO TO HADES and stay there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oldefarte| 12.27.09 @ 12:47PM
PS, IMBICILE, try and imagine the 'BIGOTED COMMENTS' that were being made by his wife while she was knocking out Tiger's car's windows with his nine iron, okay [and which she will be uttering in several months while giving legal depositions in a lawyer's office concerning their upcoming divorce procedings] ?????
Glen H| 12.31.09 @ 11:20AM
"Try and imagine" the bigoted comments? In other words, invent them in your mind. Isn't that Maureen Dowd's shtick?
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Lark| 12.25.09 @ 6:24PM
got to be a sexual lark between junior high and college or else married life becomes a redux.
Austin Boot Camps| 12.25.09 @ 8:49PM
Character flaw or not, the man is still an amazing athlete. I think he suffers from terminal stupidity, and will get help for his problem and return to dominate the game of golf.
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Dan| 5.5.11 @ 2:34AM
I dont think Tiger Woods is ever going to be number one again. His time is up. Left handed golf equipment wouldn't help him either - it's time for the new blood to come through.