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European scientists have invited actor Tom Hanks be present when they switch on the machine that could (possibly) destroy the world:

Cern's head of communications, James Gillies, confirmed that the facility would be delighted to have Hanks there to restart the collider, which organisers hope will take place in June.

The machine is designed to simulate the "Big Bang", which started the universe 15 billion years ago, by smashing subatomic particles together at energies never before achieved.

Scientists hope this will help them find the answers to big questions, such as what causes mass and whether hidden dimensions exist in space.

There is also a possibility of tiny black holes being created in the Collider. Experts insist that if this happens, they will pose no threat.

You may recall that the Large Hadron Collider suffered, as The Telegraph says, “a catastrophic malfunction soon after being switched on amid a fanfare of publicity last September.” Hmm, did the “experts” predict that would happen?

To me a “catastrophic malfunction” with my PC, a machine that can run SimCity, is cause for concern; a “catastrophic malfunction” in the CERN, a machine that can run SimUniverse, should make us think twice about turning it on again.

I’m not a scientist (though I have watched a lot of disaster movies) so I don’t know what the effect of creating a black hole in Switzerland will have on the existence of our planet. But I suspect that Tom Hanks presence at the next Big Bang has to exponentially increase the probability of global annihilation.

View all comments (7) | Leave a comment

Alan Brooks| 2.18.09 @ 8:39PM

for comfort, Tom will bring that basketball he made friends with on the deserted island.
the name was Wilson, i think.

Alan Brooks| 2.18.09 @ 11:34PM

"so far [the Hadron collider] hasn't collided much of anything so far"--
the Derb, 9/'09

ruth| 2.18.09 @ 11:48PM

Yeah, Wilson as in Wilson athletic gear. I think Wilson's IQ is higher than Tom's. LOL

dennis tate| 2.19.09 @ 6:47AM

The black hole was switched on in Washington Jan 20 and its sucking us all down the tubes.

Scott| 2.19.09 @ 11:22PM

Mr. Carter:

The only point anyone can take from this is that indeed, you are not a scientist. No real scientist regards the LHC as a threat to the planet. Come on now, think about it. The people running the LHC are not religious fanatics who think that if they die they will go to an afterlife where dozens of virgins will tend to their every need so they are not going to design, build, and turn on a machine that could cause the planet to be sucked into a black hole.

ruth| 2.20.09 @ 12:30AM

No sense of humor, Scott, you must be a liberal.

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More Blog Posts by Joe Carter

http://spectator.org/blog/2009/02/18/tom-hanks-and-the-big-bang

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