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Whatta Bunch of Phony Baloneys
Dov Fischer
by

Have you ever seen so much mendacity and womendacity at once? Whatta bunch of phony baloneys!

It was bound to happen in the Democrat-Left Age of Intersectionality. In an era where you lose “society-advantage points” for being White, more points for being male, more for having progenitor roots anywhere in Europe, and a few more for being all three plus “straight”… In such a society, it was bound to happen that imposters would start emerging — even among candidates for the nation’s highest office and among their biggest donors — claiming false identities. Remember Rachel Dolezal, the Caucasian of European lineage, who rose to head an NAACP chapter by falsely presenting as Black? Now they all seem to be prescribed medical formulations of Dolezal.

Let’s start with Beto the Skate-o. I initially was fooled into thinking that Beto O’Rourke was some Mexican-American, or whatever, who was running in Texas for Senate against Ted Cruz. Who names a kid “Beto” if not a Hispanic family? There are no “Beto” personalities in the Bible. I figured the guy was Latino, maybe Chicano, pitching for that vote down in El Paso.

Although Karl Rove of Texas refused to call Beto by his sobriquet, insisting on calling him “Robert Francis” O’Rourke, Rove failed to clarify why he denied the Skateboard King his moniker. So look deeper: His Dad is Pat Francis O’Rourke. Irish. The Mom is Melissa Martha Williams O’Rourke. “Beto” is of Irish and Welsh ancestry. Hmm. So what’s with the “Beto”? The presumed underprivileged Hispanic life that he overcame to rise and raise $80 million from around the country against Ted Cruz?

Turns out that this guy is the Most White Privileged Male in the whole country! How many Americans know this about “El Beto”?

  1. Mom was stepdaughter of President John F. Kennedy’s Secretary of the Navy.
  2. Mom was a business owner.
  3. Dad was a county commissioner, county judge, tight with the Texas Governor, and was Texas state chairman of two Presidential campaigns: Jesse Jackson 1984 and Jesse Jackson 1988. (Run, Jesse, Run!)
  4. Once Dad got to know Jesse Jackson and all his backers really well, Dad switched parties and became a Republican. Run, Pat, Run!
  5. After two years at a public high school in El Paso, “Beto” was moved to The Woodberry Forest School, a foo-foo, high-falutin’ private all-male boarding school in Virginia whose alumni include, oh, the brother of George W. and Jeb Bush, the actor Randolph Scott, a former National Security Advisor, a boatload of Congressmen, a bunch of powerhouse corporate CEOs, and a New York Times film critic.
  6. Then he went to my alma mater, Columbia University, where he co-captained the crew team. (More below on crew teams.)
  7. He graduated college in May 1995 and was arrested in May 1995 for burglary back in Texas. Was locked up. Seven months later the charges were dropped. Run, Beto, Run!
  8. Three years later the “Kennedyesque” Beto was arrested for driving while intoxicated, fortunately not on a bridge. He crashed into a truck so hard that the impact sent his car careening across the center median and into oncoming traffic — and he then tried racing to get away without being caught by the cops. Skate, Beto, Skate! Hit-and-Run, Beto, Hit-and-Run!

You bet he was “born to run.” So this skateboard guy is a total phony. “Beto” is whiter than Uncle Ben’s converted rice. Irish and Welsh, he married a lady whose Daddy is worth $500 million. The John Kerry School of political aspiration. But he does skateboard — because he is SO cool! Yet he remains the Ultimate Gringo. “Beto”? Baloney!

Beto is the latest of a never-ending line-up of Democrat Impostors, Dolezal phonies to the core. In some cases, their mendacity is legend, beginning with Princess Speaking Bull, Elizabeth Warren, fully 1 / 1,024th Native American — presumably less Indian than George Armstrong Custer. As she worked her way up the totem pole, she listed herself as “American Indian” with a state bar. Got herself into Ivy League academia as a member of a historically oppressed minority without any reservations. Whether drinking beer to keep a wig warm or skinning hides, her blood test proved President Trump’s conundrum: “Now that her blood test proves she never was an Indian, how can I keep calling her ‘Pocahontas’?” Indian? Baloney!

Not long ago, these pages carried my more extended column devoted to the Democrats’ falsehoods in identifying their ultimate Sugar Daddy, Tom $teyer, as a Jew. Every time a Republican attacks $teyer for trying to buy elections with multi-million-dollar contributions, the Democrats and Left Media come back and yell “Anti-Semitism!” Even $teyer makes the claimBut he is no Jew. Tom $teyer is an Episcopalian. Interestingly, when the real anti-Semites like Jew-haters Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar attack Jews the Left Media are silent. When they research dirt from the past to try hurting Tucker Carlson, they remain silent on Al Sharpton’s past role in helping incite at least two bloody street riots in New York, one in Brooklyn and one in Manhattan, that each resulted in violent deaths. They never call out Sharpton, Tamika Mallory of the Increasingly Defunct Women’s March, Tlaib, or Omar as anti-Semites when those despicable haters frontally speak bigotry. And yet they call out decent Republicans like Kevin McCarthy and Jim Jordan for “anti-Semitism” when they legitimately criticize Tom $teyer — who is Episcopalian. Jewish? Baloney!

Obviously, Cory Booker was not representing himself as Roman when he spoke of his “Spartacus moment.” But he indeed was saying that he was about to do something so self-sacrificing and courageous that, as Spartacus had endured crucifixion for risking all to liberate the slave gladiators from Roman persecution, so would he be risking all by violating United States Senate rules and releasing confidential documents not cleared for release. But the documents he released in fact had been cleared for public disclosureHe risked nothing. He is a phony. Spartacus? Baloney!

Then Sen. Amy Klobuchar, representing “Minnesota Nice.” Remember how nice she was during the Kavanaugh hearings? So nice! We were told that is why she is running for President: Not because she is another power-hungry egomaniac, but because she is nice — and this is a time that America, riven by political partisanship, needs a leader who is just-plain nice. And then we find out that she actually is an insane sociopath. She throws solid items around her office in fits of temper, and her staffers need to duck for dear life. She demeans her underlings and forces them to recite their failings to other people. She sabotages the efforts of staffers who depart when they seek to get new jobs. And she will eat her salads with a comb and then make her staffers clean the comb. Nice? Baloney!

In many ways, Kirsten Gillibrand is the worst power-hungry phony of them all. She changes her beliefs every ten minutes, as soon as the Left adopts a new position antithetical to hers. As Women’s March arose in 2017, she muscled in to be photographed with Jew-haters Linda Sarsour and Tamika Mallory, praising them to the heavens. As #MeToo arose, she emerged to play a lead role in shaming Al Franken into resigning from the Senate, Gillibrand self-righteously also attacked the Clintons, saying that Bill should have resigned during the Monica Lewinsky mess. Yet, for two decades after Lewinsky Gillibrand continued allying tightly with the Clintons. She boasted that Bill had campaigned for her in 2006, and she got Bill to keynote a fundraiser for her in 2009. Only after Hillary lost in 2016 did Gillibrand suddenly step on them to stand higher. Meanwhile, amid her #MeToo posturing and moralizing, Gillibrand protected a male staffer in her own office, her personal chauffeur and Guy Friday, even as women in her office complained bitterly that he engaged in ongoing misogyny, rape jokes, and sexual innuendos. Only after the full extended story broke in Politico did this phony finally fire the creep. #MeToo defending harassed women? Baloney!

Which brings us to the newest impostors: the spawn of the rich and famous Hollywood-liberal elite who got smuggled into some elite American colleges like Yale, Stanford, and USC when their parents bribed some College Coyote, who specialized in smuggling morons across college-admissions borders. He arranged for shills to take the dummies’ Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) entrance exams for them, for other crooks to administer such exams and to adjust their grades or arrange for them to get the kind of extra time allotted more properly for students with true medical handicaps. And he paid off college sports coaches to “recruit’ those spoiled brats to be recipients of special athletic scholarships to get in.

By now we all have seen the YouTube of the dimwit kid who bragged that she is so excited to be going to college now, so that she can experience the parties, assuring her fans that she is not there for an education. Clearly, no assurances were needed. Contemplate the odds that she would absorb anything in college other than alcohol. Like, uh, y’know?

It is an Era of Mendacity, born of the Obama Wasted Decade. At the nation’s highest echelons, it was the Obama-directed sham investigation of Hillary Clinton’s felonious destruction of 33,000 emails, as Obama’s Department of Justice gave orders to the FBI not to prosecute despite the clear mandate of the statute, and as Attorney-General Loretta Lynch huddled with Bill Clinton on that tarmac. Now that’s an A-G! The falsehood and lying continued through the Steele Dossier, the lying to the FISA court, the dishonest unmaskings of American citizens. The dishonesty of Jim Comey, the leaking of confidential documents to the New York Times, the launching of a two-year investigation into Russian collusion that never happened. All the perjury that was directed at bringing down Brett Kavanaugh. Lies, lies, lies — and no consequences. Against so much deceit and lying, Michael Cohen does not even qualify for the bronze, maybe not even for the junior varsity.

Obama’s moral and ethical corruption was bound to seep into the deeper body politic. Now the whole public arena is so deeply corrupted by identity politics and Intersectionality that Democrats and their money backers all are on prescriptions for Dolezal. “Beto” O’Rourke who is Irish and Welsh, the son of White Male Privilege, married into half-a-billion-dollars more White Male Privilege, attended private all-male boarding schools. Elizabeth Warren, shamefully milking the Affirmative Action system from teepee to wigwam. Cory Booker, not an ounce of Spartacus-quality courage. Tom $teyer, an Episcopalian, who tries to quiet criticisms by claiming to be a Jew. Klobuchar who hurls objects in maniacal rages and who dehumanizes people she controls. Gillibrand the #MeToo chameleon. And Hollywood Elite, a universe so universal in its adherence to the Democrat-Left dogmas that deny inner-city children-of-color access to government-funded charter schools, but who will spend a quarter million, a half million, even millions to smuggle their precious little simpletons into the elite colleges that establish racist barriers to keep out the less-connected but more-qualified children, say of Asian-American descent. These are the elite schools for which the children of everyday non-connected Americans struggle mightily to achieve excellent high school grades, to take tons of Advanced Placement courses, to engage in a plethora of extracurricular activities, and to do well on college-entrance exams. Now we learn that some addlepated airheads have been stealing their places, claiming falsely to be members of crew teams and the like, not even knowing what a crew team even does. (“We play crew!”) How relieved they are to learn that they do not need to get crew cuts after all, but how disappointed not to be entitled to own anything they like in the J. Crew catalog.

Whatta bunch of Phony Baloneys — the whole crew of them.

Dov Fischer
Dov Fischer
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Rabbi Dov Fischer, Esq., a high-stakes litigation attorney of more than twenty-five years and an adjunct professor of law of more than fifteen years, is rabbi of Young Israel of Orange County, California. His legal career has included serving as Chief Articles Editor of UCLA Law Review, clerking for the Hon. Danny J. Boggs in the United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit, and then litigating at three of America’s most prominent law firms: JonesDay, Akin Gump, and Baker & Hostetler. In his rabbinical career, Rabbi Fischer has served several terms on the Executive Committee of the Rabbinical Council of America, is Senior Rabbinic Fellow at the Coalition for Jewish Values, has been Vice President of Zionist Organization of America, and has served on regional boards of the American Jewish Committee, B’nai Brith Hillel, and several others. His writings on contemporary political issues have appeared over the years in the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the Jerusalem Post, National Review, American Greatness, The Weekly Standard, and in Jewish media in American and in Israel. A winner of an American Jurisprudence Award in Professional Legal Ethics, Rabbi Fischer also is the author of two books, including General Sharon’s War Against Time Magazine, which covered the Israeli General’s 1980s landmark libel suit.
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