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The Rosenstein Doctrine
Ben Stein
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A few respectful thoughts on Special Prosecutors.

First of all, now that we know we can have Special Prosecutors without there being any meaningful evidence of a crime, or in fact any evidence at all of a crime besides gossip and endless political campaigning, let’s have a Special Prosecutor for Maxine Waters. She’s the screaming voice of the most anti-Trump, shrillest slice of the Democrat party. She’s been a civil servant all of her life, earning a modest wage. Somehow, she has a $4.5 million dollar home and other property here in L.A. True, there’s no evidence so far that’s she’s taken bribes. But under the logic of Rod Rosenstein, that only means she’s all the more guilty and needs a Special Prosecutor to investigate every aspect of her whole life.

“The more innocent, the more guilty,” said Stalin, and this is obviously the logic of the moment.

There’s no longer any need for an obvious crime. Just the allegation of a crime is now enough under the Rosenstein doctrine. So let’s also go after former Democrat Senator from Sunny Cal, Barbara Boxer. She’s a long-time Civil Servant, too. But she flies first class (I know because I’ve been yelled at by her in that cabin). Plus, she has a house in a posh Rancho Mirage community near mine. How could she have gotten that except by bribes? We need a Special Prosecutor.

Barack Obama earned peanuts for years and now he’s in a mansion in Kalorama and looking for a home also near us in Rancho Mirage. Where did that money come from? Yes, you’ll say it’s from a book advance and maybe it is. But maybe not. He met with diplomats from dozens of foreign powers. How do we know he didn’t get paid off? How do we know he wasn’t paid off to NOT bomb Syria after they crossed “the red line” in gassing their own civilians? Yes, there’s no evidence of it, but why should that stop anyone? I have now alleged that it’s a possibility that Mr. Obama took a bribe not to bomb Syria. How can we know if I’m right or not without a Special Prosecutor?

And why stop there. There are about six million civil servants in this country, state, federal, and local. Many of them have shiny new cars. How did they get them unless by bribery? Let’s investigate every single one of them.

In fact, let’s investigate everyone. Stalin did it. Mao did it. The Führer did it. Let’s do it here.

Oh, and by the way, Mr. Rosenstein did not, repeat not, appoint a Special Counsel under the statutes that make that official un-fireable. Mr. Mueller is just another Civil Servant and can be fired at any time by Mr. Trump.

He won’t do it, but he can.

Oh, and another little thing… what kind of nut job is Mr. Comey to supposedly hear remarks that constitute a crime, not report them, just write little gossipy notes in his diary with reindeer and hearts on it, and then send the notes to his pals? If he thought he was being tampered with in violation of law, why didn’t he go to law enforcers at once? Why did he wait to release them until he wanted revenge for being fired (in a very crude and awful way)? What kind of Sheriff is that?
And since when is it a crime to meet with Russians? FDR did it over and over with the ultimate killer, Joe Stalin. Truman also did it with Stalin. How do we know all of it was on the up and up? Were you there? Then how do you know. Special Prosecutor time.

Let’s get down to basics: The Democrats are trying their best to mount a coup d’état based on shrieks and innuendoes and smoke and mirrors and rage. It’s time for Republicans to stop running for cover and to stand up for the lawfully elected Republican President. Our Republican President in many ways is a clown. But as far as we know, he’s not a lawbreaker. Compared with Hillary, he’s a saint. Let’s rally round the flag, boys. If we’re strong behind him and don’t McCain our way to the shelters (and I don’t blame McCain for hating Trump), Trump can be our President for a long time to come. If we fall apart and start heading for safe spaces, we as a party deserve what we get.

 

Ben Stein
Ben Stein
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Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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