Alec Mouhibian

The BS Degree


Every parent knows the fear. Mortgage signed, crucifix pawned, uglier child given up for adoption so precious Heather can pursue out-of-state perfection at a pricey college…all for her to return on Winter break and announce she’s majoring in Sociology. Or Women’s Studies. Or Communication. Or any one of what is bluntly known, in disappointed-parent lingo, […]

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Nationals Lampoon


When you demand and get taxpayer money to build a $611 million baseball stadium, it’s probably not the best idea to boast that an additional $30 million was generously donated by the team’s owners to “jazz up the park.” Especially if you know full well — as Washington Nationals president Stan Kasten must have known […]

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Stephen King, Scary Pest


Just when I faced the possibility of being starved of spooks this Halloween season, along came Stephen King. King, of course, is well-practiced at supplying spooks. I’m not talking about his novels. Those aren’t nearly as scary as his occasional forays into literary sermonizing, which should appall anyone who cares about the state of American […]

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Armenians Are Hot


I never thought the day would come. But here it is! Being an Armenian — like playing women’s basketball at Rutgers, losing money on Enron, and contracting AIDS in Africa before it — is now relevant and topical. Hell, yes. I feel so damn temporarily important, and I wouldn’t trade it for having sold steroids […]

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