Des Moines Register, January 25
Tonight in Des Moines, one week before the Iowa Caucuses, the Iowa Democratic Party and Drake University will co-host a CNN Town Hall. The three participants are perennial presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, straight man Martin O’Malley, and life-long Marxist Bernie Sanders.
Iowa Democratic Party Chair Andy McGuire said Democrats are honored to showcase “our fantastic candidates.” McGuire sharply rebuked Ted Cruz for being a Republican and praised “New York values.” McGuire also noted that Iowa Democrats, according to this newspaper’s poll, feel the number one issue in the state is the lack of diversity in the Academy Awards. McGuire expressed hope that CNN panelists tonight would not be diverted toward “phony issues” like the slow economic recovery over the last seven years or the resurgence of Iran amidst the meltdown in the Middle East.
The Rev. Jesse Jackson agreed and praised McGuire’s leadership of the party, but he has said in the past that the Iowa Democratic caucuses should be outlawed because of insufficient black participation. “Any state with fewer than 5 percent African-American population should not be allowed any impact.”
“Gee, the caucuses are, for me and we and he, an anomaly, you see, let us be, or pay a fee and provide a key,” summarized Jackson. Attacking Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz for citing Dr. Seuss during a Senate filibuster September 25, 2013 against Obamacare, Jackson also criticized Seuss for plagiarizing Jackson’s own speaking style.
Jackson has praised Iowa in the past. Jackson’s son, former U.S. Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. (D-Ill.), convicted of fraud, served 23 months in federal prison in Butner, North Carolina. Jackson is on record as having urged the Bureau of Prisons to allow his son to report to a halfway house in Iowa. Instead, Jesse Jr. served the final part of his sentence at a Baltimore halfway house that Rev. Jackson said was in a dangerous neighborhood.
But Jackson had high praise for the leadership of the Iowa Democratic Party and praised its outreach to gay, black Muslim teens from Yemen, a program he hopes will be a model for the nation. “We don’t take a Muslim on a whim, or a gay in May, or a teen not mean, from Yemen, when?” exclaimed Jackson, who said wandering Yemenites, persecuted for their sexual orientation, deserved a new start in Iowa. “These boys are here to pursue the American dream,” explained Jackson. “They pose no threat, except to the few orthodox homophobic Jews in Iowa who wear provocative black outfits on Saturday, and we can’t let these few Hymies take over from the evangelical majority.”
“Iowa is defamed as the state of evangelicals,” Democratic State Chair Andy McGuire conceded. “We are proudly the state of ethanol. And we cherish diversity. Although I am happy as a woman, I will consider hormonal supplements and supplemental sex change surgery if that’s what it takes to demonstrate our party’s solidarity with transgendered African-Americans.”
McGuire, long-time president of Meridian Health plan of Iowa, praised “Obamacare.” Asked to comment on gender gap polls showing male Democrats favoring Sanders over Clinton by a wide margin, McGuire answered without hesitation: “If you like your penis, you can keep your penis.”
Born Andrea, Andy McGuire ran unsuccessfully for lieutenant governor but said she promised party activists she would serve as party chairman for at least two years, and in her current gender, before running for Congress. But she explained she never made a commitment to stay white.
“I’m a doctor. I’m a mother of seven. I’m a business executive, an M.D. and an M.B.A. who can multi-task,” McGuire said. “And it’s a canard that Iowa is a white state. It’s a blue state.”
McGuire said the outcome of the caucuses next Monday would be determined by the growing number of blacks in Iowa. “Sanders is for free college for everyone, and his message is resonating across the board. Hillary needs to come out for reparations. Black Dollars Matter.”
The local movie theater four years ago stopped showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show each Saturday at midnight. Instead, starting on New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2011, after demonstrations led by Al Sharpton, the theater began showing installments of Alex Haley’s Roots. White people arrive dressed as characters in Alex Haley’s novel. For the sake of racial progress, blacks see Roots at an earlier Saturday matinee.
“I have seen the entire Roots fourteen times and I now consider myself African-American,” said McGuire. McGuire said civil rights activist Rachel Dolezal, head of the Spokane NAACP, inspired her to convert to African-Americanism because, she said, Iowa needs more black faces.
Donald Trump, campaigning in Iowa three days ago, said no one with McGuire’s face should chair a political party. Asked by a reporter for this newspaper if his comment were sexist, Trump said, “I never said she had the face of a loser, only that she did not have the face of a party leader. Andy McGuire has a beautiful face.”
While not officially taking sides in the presidential primary, McGuire faulted Bernie Sanders for running a television spot in Iowa that features only white people. Noting that the Sanders ad showed 30 people, and that Iowa is 2.9 percent black, McGuire said, “Social justice required precisely one black.”
Party officials are considering sanctions against Sanders for the ad. BleedingHeartland.com has been concerned that McGuire, who chaired Hillary’s 2008 campaign in the state, is manipulating the party against Sanders. McGuire has a license plate that reads “HRC 2016.” Hillary no longer uses her maiden name Rodham, so McGuire is painting white paint over the “R.”
“This is more than an issue of race,” McGuire said. “Jews are only 0.2 percent of Iowa’s population,” noted McGuire “Yet, two of the 30 people in Bernie’s ads are Jewish, based on their surnames.” McGuire also noted that Michigan Democrats will be presenting a resolution at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia to protest the Jewish-to-Muslim ratio of Nobel Prize winners.
The controversial Sanders ad also has drawn criticism from David Brock, Hillary’s onetime nemesis. After a lucrative career as an investigative journalist attacking Hillary, Brock experienced an epiphany and began a new lucrative career defending Hillary. Brock, who founded Hillary’s SuperPAC, termed the Sanders ad “bizarre” and a “significant slight to the Democratic base.”
“From this ad, it seems black lives don’t matter much to Bernie Sanders,” concluded Brock, who said Iowa Democrats want more Syrian refugees.
“If we don’t support President Obama’s plans for more Syrian refugees, you’re going to see more Iowa Democratic women wearing burkas as a show of support for Muslims,” party chair Andy McGuire said. “As Hillary has so eloquently stated, the future does not belong to those who defame Muslim women because of the way they dress.”
McGuire, who received her medical degree from Creighton University School of Medicine, said running again for public office is not her only option. “I have an MBA from Kennesaw State. It may not be the Wharton School like Donald Trump, but, as Donald Trump concedes, I am not a loser. I could apply my business background. Each year I have been active in Planned Parenthood, we have raised the number of abortions.”
The Prairie Meadows Casino and Racetrack in Altoona, a nonprofit organization, provides $100,000 each year to Planned Parenthood, and McGuire — who has chaired the Prairie Meadows Grants Committee, takes credit. But a spokesman for Bernie Sanders said, “$100,000 is not that much because Prairie Meadows gave the Des Moines Social Club $250,000 just to put on a play called ‘Cock.’”
The abrupt addition of tonight’s Town Hall had caught Iowa’s NPR reporters by surprise. Two weeks after Donald Trump announced its candidacy, NPR Iowa was still predicting he would not run.
“Tonight’s prime time town hall will give Democrats an opportunity to ask tough questions of Bernie Sanders,” noted Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who added, “Some Democrats say Sanders at the top of the ticket would be a disaster.” But she then acknowledged the potential of Sanders to increase the voter turnout of the silent majority of Marxists.
Wasserman Schultz adamantly denied she was a backer of Hillary Clinton.
“The fact that the Clinton Foundation is providing a college scholarship for one of my children is a red herring,” Wasserman Schultz insisted, denying that she had limited the original schedule to only six debates, typically on weekends to under-expose Sanders, and now Hillary is running scared. “I resent any suggestion that tonight’s town hall is a last ditch attempt to screw Sanders.”
Wasserman Schultz is descended from the family of August Paul von Wassermann, who in 1906 developed the antibody test for syphilis, popularized as the “Wassermann test.” Her granduncle August dropped the second “n” in September 1939 to sound less Jewish. Wasserman Schultz said that if the Democrats hold on to the White House and elect a majority to both houses of Congress, she would add back the extra “n” in her middle name. The Wasserman Test has been rejected as “Zionist” by Shite Muslims, but many Sunnis allow use of the test if required by Angela Merkel.
Wassermann studied under the pioneering German microbiologist Robert Heinrich Herman Koch at the Institute for Infectious Diseases in Berlin. Wasserman Schultz denied that Charles and David Koch are related to her granduncle’s mentor, R.H.H. Koch. “This is a recurring smear by Valerie Jarrett who has been trying to remove me as DNC chair from day one.”