I skipped my swimming this evening so I could watch the series premiere of The Muppets on ABC. I wish I had gone to the pool.

The laughs were few and far between. Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear had so much angst between them I thought I was watching a Woody Allen movie. And by Woody Allen movie I mean Interiors, not Annie Hall. Do we really need to hear Fozzie talk about “offensive stereotypes” never mind have a human girlfriend? It’s bad enough Kermit has a pig fetish.

There were a couple of good moments with The Great Gonzo and Animal. They can’t be ruined. But where the hell was Rowlf the Dog?

I am sure the ratings will be great tonight, but look for a steep decline in the coming weeks. It would not surprise me if the show is cancelled by mid-season. If this script revolved around people it would never see the light of day. 

It’s not that I mind that these Muppets are more adult oriented. The Muppets have a history of being adult oriented with their stint on the first season of SNL. If you watch re-runs of The Muppet Show there are plenty of adult moments, but they are done in a subtle manner. This show has all the subtlety of a ballpein hammer. It has no heart, no soul and no warmth. In short, The Muppets is absolutely awful.

If Jim Henson were still alive I am sure he would not object to putting together a more adult oriented Muppets. But he would have been far more clever about it. After all, Jim Henson was a genius and the thing about genius is that it is rare.