So Hillary Clinton says she’s a political outsider.

If Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then I’m the starting centerfielder for the Boston Red Sox.

If Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then Bashar Assad is a reformer.

If Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then Kim Kardashian is a virgin.

If Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then the Ayatollah buys Israel bonds.

If Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then Donald Trump is a beacon of humility.

If Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then Bill Clinton never looks at other women.

The day Hillary Clinton is a political outsider is the day that Al Sharpton doesn’t cry racism.

The day Hillary Clinton is a political outsider is the day Rand Paul comes out in favor of the Iraq War.

The day Hillary Clinton is a political outsider is the day President Obama repeals Obamacare.

The day Hillary Clinton is a political outsider is the day Bernie Sanders renounces socialism.

The day Hillary Clinton is a political outsider is the day she uses a government e-mail address.

The day Hillary Clinton is a political outsider then…ah, what difference does it make?