Only in America, where a bought Ohio jury yesterday made Rep. Jim “Junior” Traficant a made man, as in a made Democrat. Immediately Rep. Ricardo “Mama’s Boy” Gephardtini began plotting Junior’s ouster from the Congressori family, going so far as to declare him a non-Democrat though he remains an active trial lawyer and his own consigliere. Junior will not be easily snuffed out, not so long as naysaying Republican Rep. Roberto Ney of Ohio retains clout. Ney says he respects Junior’s right to an appeal, but even he admits that if Junior is sent up-river it could be curtains. “Obviously,” he said in an untraceable call to a Washington Post reporter, “no one convicted and sentenced can remain in the U.S. House.” Oh, yeah? How come it’s called the Big House?
Another Democrat from Palermo, Rep. Cynthia McKinney, whom Osama bin Laden recently unveiled as his emissary to Washington, charges that President Bush has parlayed advance warning of the September 11 attacks to reward war-profiteer backers and enforcers of his Florida coup. How did she know about the advance warning? Apparently by breaking the code provided by Pat Buchanan in a recent book describing British attempts to withhold intelligence intercepts from an American president a few wars ago.
But Signora McKinney’s inspiration may have been the obscure Italian journalist Tiziano Terzani, who has been on America’s case since Vietnam and in a hot new book denounces the U.S. war in Afghanistan as an act of barbarism. On promotional tour in Italy, where his book is outselling David Brock’s, Comrade Terzani is raising many important questions. Thanks to a gentleman from Vicenza, who provided Enemy Central with a strategic intercept of its own, we know Terzani is entertaining serious doubts about whether 9/11 ever occurred. “I am not in a position to know what happened,” he told Italy Daily. “I’m just sustaining that what we have been told is not the whole truth.” So what about the smoking-gun video in which Osama admitted his involvement? “How do I know?” Terzani asks. “I’m not an expert on videos. All I know is that the video comes from the same society that produced ‘Jurassic Park.'” This guy’s good, certainly better than Brock.
Terzani is a model in the making of an anti-American. Back in the sixties someone asked him why he was so hostile to the land of the free. Because he didn’t know the country, he replied. So he enrolled in a few of its top schools of patriotism, specifically Stanford and Columbia, on a two-year Harkness fellowship. Last summer he returned for a refresher course, as if he could have ever forgotten a single thing he’d been taught. Here’s what earned him his “A”: “My impression of America was disastrous. It was an appalling feeling of an arrogant country, a country with no curiosity whatsoever about the rest of the world. A country so self-centered, so deeply convinced of being the expression of the ultimate civilization … as if they had reached the peak of something mankind had always been looking for.” Evidently he’s still recovering from the disappointment he felt when informed that San Francisco wasn’t the shining city on a hill Ronald Reagan was referring to.
Fortunately for America we have Colin Powell defending our case abroad. Nothing will stop him, no matter how many stops it takes. First, Morocco and a dressing down from one of our closest allies in the region. Then Egypt, another close ally that sure could use a few more billion a month in U.S. aid, the better to break ties with Israel. Then Spain, where Kofi Annan was waiting in ambush, along with lots of neat European statesmen, all united in anti-Israelism, the weak man’s version of anti-Americanism. Finally, grudgingly, with nose-in-the-air as if he were still visiting the Pyramids, arrival in Israel and a meeting with Ariel Sharon. All this humiliation just so General Powell could win the grand prize and meet on the Jewish Sabbath with Yassir Arafat, the closest thing this side of Asia to what remains of Osama bin Laden on the other.
Months ago the General’s boss said we’d do away with such vermin. So why is the Secretary of State now extending privileges to Arafat due an Endangered Species. If this doesn’t bedeck him and his entire Foggy Bottom crew with EOW hardware, nothing will.
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