Klay Pigeons - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Klay Pigeons

When they get beyond closed doors, and they let their hair hang down — that’s when Hillary starts screaming. Poor Russ Feingold, hearing it like it is from the lady in red face. “She clobbered him,” one source told the New York Daily News. “With what?” you might ask. Well, certainly not with an ashtray, since it was a smoke-free room. What else was in the Daily News. We’ll tell you what else was in the Daily News. “Russ, live in the real world,” our doll shouted, all because the guy wants to remove money from politics which Hillary insists cannot be conducted without serious injections of Indonesian and Chinese currency.

But you want an example of press bias? The Daily News described Hillary as “tight-faced,” an obvious allusion to her history of alleged facelifts. It also had her comparing Republicans to a plague, claiming they’d “be all over” Russ “like a June bug.” We can’t say the June bug community was thrilled at being stereotyped in this fashion either. Buggism remains a problem in our society.

On the brighter side, if Ms. Clinton’s opposition to McCain-Feingold continues is it too much to expect that she’ll consider switching to Mitch McConnell’s party? When opportunity knocks, you give her all the stock options she might need. And thanks to Richard Armitage, the State Department’s liaison to the potential lamp-throwing community, we know Ms. Hillary could always count on visa clearance should she ever need to travel to the headquarters of major donors in Jakarta and Beijing.

Another closed-door sewer scenario brought out the Big Jule in the Hon. Dick Gephardt. Rolling his patented unspotted dice, the Dem leader predicted huge payoffs come November — in the 30 to 40 seat range. We can take that to mean this time we really can expect a Contract On America. Already Mr. G. has given us a taste of what’s long been his religious commitment to accountability and transparency. Heeding the advice of his spiritual adviser, Parson Gephardt found some years ago found a nice donation on his plate worth $125,000 in pre-Clinton era profits. Duly inspired, that adviser, the Rev. Terry McAuliffe, turned around and for a mere to $100 contribution to the Church of Big Labor in Florida received a mannah of $2.5 million in return, no questions asked or forms to fill out. (National Review Online broke the uncomplicated story.) In Gephardt’s America, God helps those who help themselves so long as they all busy themselves lopping off the heads of anyone associated with a popular presidency not of their making.

A dynamic religious movement like the one currently purifying our nation’s economic waters wins many converts. Nonbelievers at the Media Research Center identified one such newbie, CNN’s William Schneider, who has discovered that Vice President Dick Cheney bears an uncanny resemblance to the late Spiro Agnew, whose vice-presidency proved even more short-lived than Richard Nixon’s presidency. Not that for a moment Schneider said he was suggesting that “Mr. Cheney is another Agnew” or that the vice president will have to resign. Oh, no, not at all.

An even more impressive convert to the new thinking was someone who has been pious longer than piety has been a staple of godless Washington. David Gergen (again) came aboard “Nightline” on Thursday night to punctuate everything mom ‘n’ pop store owner Ted Koppel was saying about evil corporations and their agents Bush-Cheney. The upshot, according to St. Gergen and his furrowed brow: Harken-Halliburton have the makings of another Watergate. How modest, when we all know the current situation makes Watergate appear to be no more than a third-rate burglary.

Lucky for Veep Cheney, he’ll be able to rely on Sen. Joe Lieberman as a character witness — unless, that is, all evidence vanishes of their vice-presidential debate, during which Joe displayed genuine envy of and admiration for Cheney’s success in the private sector, and said he could hear his wife thinking, “Gee, I wish he would go out into the private sector.” Then again, just for that Mrs. L. could be purged along with the Bushies.

It’ll take a connected lawyer to save her. Maybe someone like this week’s Enemy laureate, who only a few years ago was more in tune with Dan Burton than Halliburton. Back then he was always identified by big media as a conservative wild man or some such. Now he’s described as the greatest American since Abraham Lincoln. So there he was Thursday night, seconding and thirding everything Koppel and Gergen gurgled up.

Larry Klayman it is, then, Enemy of the Week if not year and years to come. Enemy Central’s mind goes back to happier times, when Larry was more inclined to take most seriously the wildest anti-Clinton charges, such as the claim that Ron Brown had been shot in the head before his plane went down. How long before we’re asked to take the guy back?

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