HONORABLE MEN
Re: James Bowman’s Brush Up Your Shakespeare:

How can someone who is clearly as clever as Mr. James Bowman be so stupid as to believe what he reads in the papers? A couple of chance remarks to an opportunistic reporter do not constitute anything to do with my opinion, nor were the quotations he cites provided by me. They are indeed fine bits of verse, for a collection of reasons that seem well beyond Mr. Bowman.

How could someone who purports to have some interest in honor be so dishonorable and downright shabby as to use a journalistic misrepresentation to launch an attack on someone whose opinions he has made no effort to understand. This smacks of the high moral ground of the grandstanding hack, rather than the honorable man.
— Dominic Dromgoole

James Bowman replies:
If, indeed, I have misunderstood Mr. Dromgoole’s views, I unreservedly apologize, although as he himself notes, such misrepresentation of those views as there may be is not attributable to me but to the Times and its reporter, Jack Malvern. I would expect him to take his complaint to them, which I trust he has already done. I hereby give him leave to include with his letter to the Times my piece as evidence of the damage already done to his reputation by Mr. Malvern’s slovenly reporting. It seems a bit thick, however, for Mr. Dromgoole to attack my intelligence and my honor merely because I have believed what I read in a reputable newspaper, as I imagine he does himself from time to time, and to suggest that the import of Shakespeare’s lines is beyond me “for a collection of reasons” of which he is unwilling or unable to provide a single one.

SUPERDOMED
Re: Quin Hillyer’s Saints Alive!:

Sorry, Mr. Hillyer, we part ways on this one!

I am thrilled for the football fans of New Orleans. How many billions of dollars have we spent on this city? Why, we even had enough money to clean up and refurbish a aging, out of style football stadium. A stadium which will NEVER be visited by the anyone from the poorest sections of the city — unless, of course, there is another disaster.

What kind of idiocy is this? Where is the NFL and the United Way for whom the football players and coaches shill so shamelessly? The owners are wealthy men who should pay for their own stadiums.

I am an NFL fan and never miss watching a good game on TV, but these state and federal funded stadiums really make me see red. Use the clean-up funds for the poor people who still live in trailers, please. Don’t waste my hard-earned dollars on fancy gee-gaws for overgrown, rich boys with football teams.
— Judy Beumler
Louisville, Kentucky

LETTUCE MYSTERY
Re: Paul Chesser’s Wall Costs Worth It:

Paul Chesser’s column has confused me somewhat. His first paragraphs would indicate that I have missed a vast southerly exodus of illegals thus, the veggies are rotting. Where did these folks go? Also there was a time when local law officers did turn over arrested illegals to the Feds but they stopped in disgust when these arrestees returned after being released due to the Feds lack of holding facilities prior to deportment
— Tom McGonnell
Alexandria, Virginia

LEER CHEERLEADERS
Re: Lisa Fabrizio’s Dirty Dancing:

The old joke goes like this:

Q: Why don’t Baptists make love while standing?
A: God might think they’re dancing.

I swear though, the way these youngsters dance today even from on high the almighty could hardly miss the “thrust” — if you’ll pardon the expression — of the dance moves I’ve witnessed lately. Now it’s one thing to get all sweaty and alcohol infused at a bar where only the over 21 crowd is there to be offended, but it’s a different thing entirely when the dancers are high-school age and younger and not at some bar. I went to a high-school basketball game recently and was shocked by the halftime dance routine put on by the female dance squad. I wanted to ask the people at the game whether this was standard fare, but then I realized that the parents of at least some of these girls had to be there watching. I’m middle-aged and have no children. However, I must say that if I had a daughter who danced like that in public I think that one performance would be enough for me. Then it’s straight to a convent for my young’un. Truly disturbing. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so. Thanks for that timely and relevant article Lisa Fabrizio.

Did I mention I was single? And can’t dance? May as well be a Baptist.
— Bryan Frymire
Louisville, Kentucky

NICE GUYS FINISH LOST
Re: Stephen Slivinski’s Losing to Win and Michael Tomlinson’s letter (under “Losing to Lose”) in Reader Mail’s Rudy, Aim, Fire:

“I know gang! Let’s put on a show!”

“We’ll let the guys who hate us direct. They’ll do all sorts of nasty things and we can look all stunned and victimized…. Then the people will love us and hate them and we’ll come roaring back to save the day in the next show!”

Of all the monumentally stupid concepts of the century, this one takes the cake.

The concept of divided government is fine provided BOTH parties are dedicated to defending this nation against those who would destroy it. This is not the case in 2006 and it won’t be in 2008. In fact it will never be because the Democrats have decided that they have no interest in fighting a war on terror. They would much rather fight a war on the devil George W. Bush, and his evil sidekick the vicious Dick Cheney.

So, if Conservatives want to cut off funding to the Global War on Terror. Start endless investigations of the Administration… AND want to see an impeachment they can go ahead and do something so incredibly STUPID it makes playing with matches and gasoline look like fun.

It is time for Conservatives to get serious, and serious is not tap dancing around thinking that government is some sort of chess game where tossing a few pawns and a bishop out to protect the queen is par for the course. This is real life and death. It is not about stupid budgets and relatively tiny budget deficits. It is about this nation surviving past this century. An acquaintance who is a life long liberal Democrat told me that Republicans are like spineless crybabies. They are so easy to divide and conquer because it is effortless to get them to pick up their marbles and go home in a snit.

The Democrats are showing just what they would do five seconds after they took control. One only need look at the vicious smears and lies being spread by Democrat operatives against Senator George Allen, and there is but a tiny taste of what two years of Democrat control will look like. Some Republicans are already showing signs of rapidly decalcifying spinal columns and a distinct lack of bladder control. It is time to defend Senator Allen against these attacks.

Give me and everyone else a break, please. Stop thinking so hard, and start focusing on the issue. A vote for Republicans is a vote for a chance to fix things. A vote for Democrats is a guarantee that things will get infinitely worse and more dangerous. A vote for some third party “Beau Geste” candidate is a vote for the Democrats but with a great deal of self-satisfaction.

Do we want to govern, or do we want to throw stuff from the back benches. I guess we’ll find out on the first Wednesday in November.

You cannot play, if you don’t win.
— John W. Schneider, III
Bristow, Virginia

Once again, reader Michael Tomlinson eloquently demonstrates how certain conservative beltway pundits are too smart for their own good, by half. It’s apparent that a variant strain of the virus that has infected liberal Democrats, has also infected the “woe is us” crowd among conservatives. Just as with the liberal virus, which insists that American exceptionalism is a canard simply because our imperfections run afoul of their utopian fantasies, hence, the whole grand scheme is a fraud, so to is it that certain conservatives cannot wait to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory simply because Republicans have not always acted according to Hoyle.

This is not the first time that Mr. Tomlinson has respectfully pointed out that the “Reagan Revolution” was not the conservative Holy Grail our “perfectionists” have held it out to be. Don’t get me wrong, President Reagan was a great man, but as Mr. Tomlinson accurately suggests, the complete Reagan record has been selectively culled by some of our, “if they ain’t perfect, throw the bums out,” defeatists. So, if certain conservatives truly want total chaos, the nightmare of having President Bush impeached by the likes of John Conyers and Speaker Nancy Pelosi, while al Qaeda plots and our troops remain in harms way, all because of excessive Republican spending, the carnage will be on your hands, not ours. Perhaps our conservative elites might want to rethink their positions before Nov. 7th.
— A. DiPentima

CHOICE RUDY
Re: Reader Mail’s Rudy, Aim, Fire and Deroy Murdock’s Ready for Rudy:

Guiliani is not pro-abortion, he’s pro-CHOICE. There’s a hell of a difference! And, if those sanctimonious keepers of “morality” are going to let their fear of gay crap override the realistic priorities facing our nation (some kinda important stuff like spending, borders, and the cojones-required national defense issues), then I wish you well.
Actually, no — I don’t wish you well; you deserve what you get.
— J. Frost

In response to those who think Rudy is unacceptable because he is pro-choice, I would offer this question: Who do you think will nominate and fight for more reliably Conservative judges, Rudy or McCain?

I believe that Rudy has the guts and the will to nominate a Scalia or a Thomas, my fear is maverick McCain will prefer a Souter or Kennedy to avoid bad press from the Washington press corps. Therefore, I believe, although personally pro-choice, Rudy Giuliani would do more to overturn Roe v. Wade than McCain.
— David Beruh
Hockessin, Delaware

STILL SMILING
Re: Michael Showalter’s letter (under “Smile for Me”) in Reader Mail’s Rudy, Aim, Fire:

Sounds like I don’t do much of that, from the tone of my Brownshirts letter, but you’d have to experience the Bay Area to “feel my pain”! Ask Clint Taylor — I’ll bet he knows. Funny you should use the lead “Smile for Me.” A century or two ago there was a movie called “Seventh Heaven” starring Franchot Tone and Heather Angel. The song in that movie was “Diane” — which resulted in my being the only girl child born in Texas not named Betty Lou, Nancy Jane or any of the other double names in vogue back then. Mama was a romantic. She was reading “Anthony Adverse” when my brother came along. She spared him the “Adverse” part. At least he wasn’t named Billy Bob or James Henry.

As to Mike Showalter’s fruitcake longing, he is right about the time being nigh. I don’t imagine TAS is in the business of swapping recipes, but if you are willing to print one containing around 21 ingredients, I can supply it. I know of no other way other than showing up in Austin, totin’ 15# of candied fruits, chopped nuts and a jug of high octane brandy — but who would hold the door for me?
— Diane Smith
South San Francisco, California