The United Methodist Church is holding its General Conference, which is where the second-largest Protestant denomination sets its official policies every four years. Liberal Methodists are up in arms that organizations from the theologically conservative renewal movement gave cell phones to African and Filipino delegates. They are charging vote-buying and comparing it to colonialism. In reality, the non-U.S. elements of the church tend to be more theologically orthodox anyway and the cell phones will be useful in coordinating. But the Methodists’ progressive caucus must think the African and Filipino delegates are poor, uneducated, and easy to command. Why else would their votes on abortion, homosexuality, and the authority of Scripture be so easily swayed?