White House

White House to Convert Millennials with Emoji

By on 10.9.14 | 3:40PM

The White House is preparing to make the pitch to young people that it's economic policies are working in their favor, despite their record unemployment. They're apparently desperate for the youth to turn out in the mid-terms, since pretty much every other demographic has abandoned the President's agenda (and for that matter, the President's closest allies). Young people, they feel, are just the low-information demographic they need to retain the Senate and continue their proud tradition of partisan disrespect.

And so, this week, the White House will launch a campaign aimed at 18-35 year olds on social media, starring - what else? - emoji. Those adorable digital pictures you can append to your text messages to make give your utterly incoherent text an inscrutable, yet visual, emotional angle. 

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White House Aides Probably Knew About Link to Colombian Prostitute Scandal

on 10.9.14 | 11:35AM

The Secret Service may now be trying to figure out how to improve security at the front door of the White House (rumor has it, they've put one of those ADT signs out front and put the porch lights on a timer), but their current malfeasance is only the latest in a line of scandals. It all started when the Secret Service were in Columbia on assignment and decided to taste the local fare. By which I mean they hired a bunch of Columbian prostitutes.

Two dozen White House aides, military officers and Secret Service officials were fired over the incident that the White House swore it knew nothing about and none of their staff was involved in. Today, the Washington Post begs to differ. It seems at least one White House official knew that at least one White House volunteer aide, the son of major Democratic donor Leslie Dach, was allegedly getting busy in Cartagena, and did next to nothing about it.

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Political Hay

The Wrong Fight

By 5.20.14

For many Republican voters, the whittling down of the 2012 GOP presidential field to Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum was a window into the alarming state of leadership on the Right and the sorry state of the Republican Party as an electoral force.

Romney was, by most accounts, the “next in line” candidate after running and failing in 2008. The GOP establishment rallied around him just as it had done with John McCain in 2008 and Bob Dole in 1996, with the same disappointing results.

But Santorum, whose 2012 candidacy went further than anyone could have imagined, managed to cobble together a coalition of disaffected GOP base voters out of the wreckage of the Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Perry camps to emerge as the standard bearer for the conservative wing of the GOP.

Santorum's success was surprising, given that his previous foray into elected politics had been an abject disaster—a 59-to-41 drubbing in the 2006 Senate race at the hands of Democrat Bob Casey that swept him out of office.

For most politicians, a loss like that would be career-ending. But for Santorum, it’s merely a bump in the road.

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