Super Bowl

Seahawks Lost the Super Bowl Because of Racism, Obviously

By on 2.3.15 | 11:43AM

Leave it to The Nation to uncover the real reason that the Seattle Seahawks lost the Super Bowl in a crushing, heart-breaking, emotionally devastating last-minute decision that allowed the New England Patriots to intercept the ball and end the game: everyone, including Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, is a racist.

Apparently, a disgruntled anonymous source in the Seahawks locker room told The Nation's reporter (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) that the Seahawks were more interested in allowing Russell Wilson to come out of the game a hero than actually winning the game, a theory that doesn't quite add up for reasons I'll get to in a minute.

Super Bowl XLVIII: At Least No One Was Naked

By on 2.3.14 | 1:21PM

Lasers shot into the night sky, blinking lights filled the stands and fireworks burst over the field. At his drum set was Bruno Mars, shimmering gold blazer, skinny black tie, Justin Bieber hair, and all.

Mars preformed the way all Super Bowl flops wish they had. He hit every note, the choreography was stellar, the light show dazzled, and thank God—there were no wardrobe malfunctions.

Well, besides the topless Red Hot Chili Peppers in spandex. It was a little strange. The classy coordination of Mars and his band were replaced by jumping and hollering. Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of people were thrilled by their entrance, but can we just note that the combination of Mars and the Peppers was just—off? But okay, the NFL appealed to a broader audience.

In Advance of the Super Bowl, A Little Beer Snobbery

By on 1.30.14 | 6:07PM

For those of us whose NFL teams were eliminated during the playoffs (why, Brady, why?), the Super Bowl is an excellent opportunity to drink like Hemingway characters at a bullfight. Fortunately, Spectator intern emeritus and accomplished imbiber Matt Naham has assembled a list of seven craft beers for the big game. Among them are the reliable Rogue Dead Guy Ale, the enigmatic Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale, and the rich Southern Tier Crème Bruleé Milk Stout. It’s a good list; Two-Hearted might be the best IPA out there. GQ has a similar run-down of lighter brews that aren't nearly as appealing—but maybe that’s because nothing from Flying Dog has ever done it for me.