Homeland Security

DHS Wants Your KC Royals Panties

By on 10.23.14 | 5:10PM

Everyone wants to show their support for their home team in their own way. For some of us, who live in the same city as the Cubs, we prefer to simply wear paper bag headwear during the post-season. For others, like the racy ladies of Kansas City, a pair of lovely blue panties emblazoned with a hand-drawn Royals logo is just the thing. After all, this is America, and if you want to wear your team pride on your ladyparts, you have a God-given right to do so.

Unless the Department of Homeland Security thinks you shouldn't. And then, they'll conduct an armed panty raid (literally) at the direction of Major League Baseball. Because if there's anything we need the Department of Homeland Security focusing on right now, it's what it says on your ass under your pants.

Homeland Security agents visited the Crossroads store and confiscated the few dozen pairs of underwear, printed in Kansas City by Lindquist Press.

Homeland Security in Haverford

By on 5.30.14 | 3:11PM

I grew up on Philadelphia’s Main Line in a quiet, little town called Haverford. My parents still live there, and I regularly drive up for a visit. It’s nice to know you can head home as an adult, and still spend the night in the house where you were raised.

Haverford straddles the border between Delaware and Montgomery Counties, some ten miles west of Philadelphia. According to Wikipedia, it’s most notable for being home to the renowned Haverford College and the Merion Cricket Club. The former is best known for its intellectual rigor and Quaker antecedents; the latter for its beautiful grass tennis courts.

The local geography gets a little tricky, but a portion of the unincorporated town of Haverford is part of greater Haverford Township in Delaware County (affectionately known as “Delco”).

TSA ‘Junk’ Parodies Have Commenced

By on 11.16.10 | 9:48AM

The TSA Can’t Help Being Annoying

By on 11.15.10 | 2:38PM

With the holiday travel season approaching fast, public anger at the federal Transportation Security Administration's (TSA) increasingly invasive airport passenger screening procedures - full body scans and pat downs - seems to be growing louder by the day. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano argues that these measures are necessary to maintain an adequate level of security for the nation's air travel.

Indeed, some types of safety measures, including passenger screening, are needed for air travel safety. The problem with the current security regime is its structure. In a way the TSA can't help annoying travelers with petty, intrusive rules. It is in its nature, as a top-down, government regulatory bureaucracy. By design, it's good at promulgating and enforcing rules, not so much at turning on a dime to react quickly to potential threats, which have an annoying habit of turning up unexpectedly and be ever shifting.

The War on Terror Spectator

Gatekeeping Still Matters

By 1.14.10

Certain interested parties would like to see the National Security Entry-Exit Registration system scrapped -- not a good idea, as Flight 253 has reminded us.