Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton Spends a Lot of Cash on Pantsuits

By on 5.29.15 | 12:56PM

This morning, we learned that Bill Clinton won't accept an award from your organization unless you also offer him a cool half million for the Clinton Foundation — and it doesn't matter if your organization is doing the Lord's work of helping victims of the Indonesian tsunami, either, as supermodel Petra Nemcova found out when she tried to book the former President for her Happy Hearts Fund benefit, and offering him a lifetime achievement award that you present. In order to gladly and generously accept an award for his years of service to the cause of global relief, Bill Clinton wouldn't set foot on the stage for less than a $500,000 donation to a family fund that mostly keeps his family in posh NYC penthouses.

There’s a Hillary Clinton Comic Book On the Way

By on 5.28.15 | 12:30PM

I have always been a huge comic book fan. I am told, of course, that my female anatomy makes me a rare bird in that field since, according to modern Internet feminists, comic books are the very nexus and genesis of modern misogyny, because they promote the sexualization of women, glorify violence against women, have storylines that don't always involve women, and are, generally, enjoyed by people who are not "Social Justice Warriors" with an extensive Tumblr history of memes that take aim at fat-shaming and love letters to Lena Dunham.

Iowa Dems Can’t Name A Single Hillary Clinton Accomplishment

By on 5.20.15 | 11:02AM

To be fair to Hillary, she hasn't exactly been out front of her own campaign lately, making the case to Americans that she's worth the time and effort required to vote in a Presidential election, so it's not surprising that a panel of Democrats in Iowa - the state whose caucus she'll have to win to solidify her position as the Democratic frontrunner - have absolutely no idea what she's done with her life. 

When Mark Halperin asked them to name even one, single, solitary thing Hillary Clinton did while in office that made an impression on them, the whole crowd looked as him as though it were possible he was speaking Chinese and that this was just an elaborate, if oddly prescient, prank.

Hillary Makes a Comment

By on 5.19.15 | 12:48PM

In a remarkable couple of minutes on television today, Fox News reporter Ed Henry shamed Hillary Clinton into taking a couple of questions from reporters following a campaign event in Iowa. Quite a feat and Ed should be proud.

Earlier today, the State Department said that they would not be releasing any of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's work-related e-mails until January 2016. The long delay is unjustifiable and inexplicable.

This is at the top of the list of reporters' questions but they are missing the point and should not be surprised by Hillary's statement (which she's made before) that she wants the e-mails  released as soon as possible.

Of course she wants that: she ensured that only non-incriminating e-mails were given to the State Department, although it is possible that there are a couple of e-mails that will look worse than she thinks in the context of other things we may learn before then.

Hillary Clinton Wants Julian Castro for Veep

By on 5.18.15 | 2:09PM

The Democrats have finally admitted what we knew all along: far from being about fresh ideas and new faces, the DNC's 2016 ticket will be a showcase for the party's complete reliance on identity politics.

Hillary Clinton, whose only connection to "fresh" and "new" may be the marketing slogan for her preferred brand of adult undergarmets, is looking around, quite desperately, for a running mate who hasn't yet earned their AARP card. Word has it that they've settled on HUD Secretary Julian Castro. It seems he's everything the Democratic party really needs, by which I mean, a dedicated party man with a blank slate of policy leanings who just happens to be of a minority the Dems are in danger of losing. 

Hillary Clinton’s campaign is likely to choose Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Julián Castro or another Hispanic politician to be her running mate, former HUD Secretary Henry Cisneros said in an interview that will air Sunday.

Hillary Clinton Plagiarized Herself for Her Book

By on 5.12.15 | 1:14PM

I suppose it's not technically plagiarism if you're copying yourself, unless you decide to also implicate yourself for the theft of intellectual property from your own mind, but if you were wondering how Hillary Clinton had managed to eek out a book when she's so stingy with public statements, it seems she literally took a page from herself. 

As discovered by the Washington Free Beacon, Clinton cribbed entire passages for Hard Choices, her book about her years in government, from earlier speeches, testimony she gave in front of the House and Senate, from her husband and even from some of her earlier works.

Large portions of Hillary Clinton’s $14-million memoir Hard Choices are copied from more than a dozen public speeches, congressional testimony she made while serving as secretary of state, and her previous book Living History, a Washington Free Beacon analysis found.

The Preferred Candidate of Millionaires is…Hillary Clinton

By on 5.6.15 | 6:46PM

She may be campaigning to earn the trust of the 99%, as they like to call themselves, by promising to steal from the rich and give to the...well...the bloated federal organizations that once claimed to serve the poor, according to their originally-filed mission statements but have since become retirement programs for middling bureaucrats, but Hillary Clinton's most ardent fan base doesn't have a whole lot in common with the common man.

Which makes sense since neither does she.

According to a "Millionaire Survey" conducted by CNBC, Americans with a net worth of more than $1 million heavily favor a Hillary Clinton presidency, almost twelve points more than they favor the other legacy candidate in the race, Jeb Bush.

Hillary Clinton Will Call Your Mom on Mother’s Day

By on 5.5.15 | 2:50PM

Obviously, if you're female and you haven't yet declared your ladyparts to be in the service of Hillary Clinton, your true gender is in question. And since it's been nearly a month since her highness announced her intent to rule over America like a feudal lord, it's about time they start using hardened Hillary supporters to recruit you into the collective. After all, the longer you hold out, the more painful it will be.

This Mother's Day, why give your mother flowers or perfume like every year when you can give her the gift of female solidarity? After all, she's the woman who created you to be the woman that you are, and if there's any chance our gender, which is now 51% of America, hopes to survive, we must join together to lift up a politican who proves that women can be just as corrupt, entitled, and out of touch as any man. 

So if you're truly serious, why not have Hillary Clinton call your mom on her special day to explain to her exactly that.

The Hillary Watch

Forbidden Questions

By 5.4.15

We continue to be admonished by all-knowing Republican consultants to stay away from Hillary’s health or age lest we be thought insensitive. As to my personal view on Democrat sensibility, it can be described as something that rhymes with “bucket”—to borrow a term from our dear President who is known for neither his decorum nor his sensitivity. So here are a few questions for the likely Democratic nominee.

During the last presidential campaign, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan both released extensive medical records which, according to the New York Observer, “reveal[ed] more than probably anyone ever wanted to know,” including their weight, exercise routines, diet regimes, and what drugs they were on. Might Hillary follow their example and release her medical records? And might they be equally detailed?

Clinton Foundation Forgot to Report Over a Thousand Foreign Donations

By on 4.29.15 | 11:37AM

Somehow, last week, I landed on Jim Webb's press list, which makes sense because I'm technically press even though I do the majority of my writing in yoga pants, surrounded by cats. The incident hasn't done much to increase my confidence in Jim Webb to somehow disrupt the coronation of the Democrats high holy Queen, so much as it's made me feel bizarrely sad for the man. While he - a man of distinction and accomplishment - is out meeting with foreign dignitaries and Iowa bigwigs, the presumptive Democratic nominee is struggling to explain (or, in this case, not explain), exactly how she happened to cash checks from foreign governments while remaining absolutely neutral when they came knocking at the state department. 

Today, we find out that the Clinton Foundation, which is in enough trouble for foreign donations they did disclose, received over a thousand donations from foreign governments that they never managed to get around to telling any authorities about, even though they were required to by law and by agreement.