Classical Mythology Now Too Much for Sensitive College Students

By on 5.13.15 | 1:08PM

The good news for my generation is that we finally make up a controlling portion of the working population. The bad news is, that there probably aren't enough blankies and nap rooms to accomodate all of us as we graduate into the real world. At least, as some of us graduate into the real world. Others of us have too many things to do to take time out of our day to cuddle stuffed animals and gripe to each other about the cultural appropriation and microagressions typically associated with the Patriarchy.

Thankfully, college students have no such demands on their time, which is why a cadre of Columbia University students are able to, collectively, pen an op-ed calling on their institution of higher learning to take a second look at the foundational works of Western literature and the building blocks of modern thought in order to preserve their adorable, innocent and easily-triggered minds from the mere threat that they might have to welcome in an opposing viewpoint or critically consider historical cultures in addition to their own coddled experience.

A Bigger Perspective

Feminisms — in the Plural

By 5.8.15

The word “feminism,” just like almost every other word in the English language, has more than one meaning. So when somebody tells you that she (or he) is a feminist, you are being given almost no information unless you are also told what kind of feminist. In the USA today, there are at least five kinds. (Each of the later kinds on my list, I should note, includes the earlier kinds.)

Equal-opportunity feminism. This kind holds that women (and girls) should have equal opportunities with men (and boys) in all areas of work, play, education, etc. Almost all Americans are now feminists in this sense of the word (“We are all feminists now”) — although some who generally believe in equal opportunity make exceptions when it comes to women in the infantry or to female priests, ministers, and rabbis.

Feminists Give Lifetime Achievement Award to Puppet

By on 5.5.15 | 1:44PM

Every year, the Sackler Center for Feminist Art at the Brooklyn Museum awards one lucky woman with an impressive body of work with the Sackler Center Award, typically for their contributions to the advancement of womankind, or, alternatively, their exceptional ability to whine loudly abuot how their lack of significant human contribution is the result of their diminuitive gender. Past honorees include Anita Hill, Sandra Day O'Conner and a list of prominent female voices who have made it exponentially harder to be taken seriously in male-dominated fields.

This year, however, the Sackler Center is changing their focus, and will award their Lifetime Achievement Medal to someone who represents a new era in feminist leadership, whose work has spanned decades, inspiring women of all agens with her lessons on getting what you want, when you want it, especially if what you want is covered in feathers, and when you want it is in direct response to your shrill, unending cries for satisfaction. She is also a puppet. 

The Tyranny of “Un-Feminist Underwear”

By on 3.24.15 | 1:15PM

Are you sick and tired of being attractive? Does the idea of having a fulfilling love life not appeal to you in any way? Are you always wondering why more underwear designers aren't willing to accommodate the unruly body hair that accompanies your firm commitment to your feminist ideas? 

Well, your time has come, underserved ladies of the Internet. Thanks to the generousity of the Internet, if you face these and other feminism-related problems where your lingerie is concerned, there's now a company that has you covered. Literally. It's called "Neon Moon," and it makes underthings that are designed to bring out your inner Gender Studies major: by which I mean they are specifically designed without any real support or purpose, other than to be unattractive to men

Rather than burning her bra, an entrepreneur fed up with 'sexualised' underwear in stores was inspired to design her own range that suited her feminist ideals.

TIME Apologizes for Accidentally Trying to Banish Feminism

By on 11.18.14 | 12:46PM

Apparently, for the last four years, Time Magazine, which still exists despite all evidence to the contrary, has conducted a poll of online users over which "Word of the Year" to ban. To this day, none of the winners, including "YOLO" and "twerk" have been effectively banned, as we know because people still insist on both using them, and that Miley Cyrus is being deliberately terrible in pursuit of some sort of Dada-esque artistic merit.

This year, in a fit of what is clearly masochism, Time decided to include the word "feminst," which, by all accounts, thanks to the Internet's perpetual cycle of outrage, has lost all meaning as an ideology. Their rationale? It's become a celebrity buzzword, that movie stars and 25-year-old priveleged memoir authors plaster on themselves before considering, for example, which women-only sweatshop their designer-inspired makeup bag hails from.

“Feminist” Products Worn by Lena Dunham and Others Made by Female Sweatshop Workers

By on 11.2.14 | 6:58PM

Lately, celebrities and celebrity politicians have been showing up in Elle Magazine UK and elsewhere sporting "This is What a Feminist Looks Like" scrawled across their chests and handbags to showcase their noble commitment to the cause of female equality worldwide. Everyone from noted spokesperson for all women Lena Dunham to my former imaginary boyfriend Benedict Cumberbatch to UK Labour Party leader Ed Milliband has turned up with the branded products which support The Fawcett Society, an "equality campaigning group" that ostensibly supports the plight of women worldwide.

For a mere $75, anyone can assuage their first world guilt and pay lip service to the organization's stated political goals, without having to ever get hands on for the cause. 

What Women Want

By on 7.14.14 | 5:20PM

July 14, according to the United Nations, is Malala Day, referring to the birthday of the Pakistani "girl who stood up for education and was shot by the Taliban."

Malala Yousafzai celebrated her seventeenth birthday by visiting the families of the kidnapped girls from Nigeria. She wrote in the Washington Post that they and other girls worldwide are her "sisters," in need of her help:

I know education is what separates a girl who is trapped in a cycle of poverty, fear and violence from one with a chance at a better future. During my school holidays, I traveled to help my sisters through my organization, the Malala Fund. I have visited refugee camps in Jordan, spent time with girls facing poverty in Kenya, and even been to New York City, where girls face bullying and violence.

Miss USA Suggests Self-Defense for Women, Twitter Loses It

By on 6.9.14 | 2:13PM

When asked about sexual assaults on college campuses last night during the Miss USA Pageant, Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez, now Miss USA, delivered what most would deem a fairly noncontroversial response:

I believe that some colleges may potentially be afraid of having a bad reputation and that would be a reason it could be swept under the rug, because they don’t want that to come out into the public. But I think more awareness is very important so women can learn how to protect themselves. Myself, as a fourth-degree black belt, I learned from a young age that you need to be confident and be able to defend yourself. And I think that’s something that we should start to really implement for a lot of women.

Shockingly enough, the eternally outraged #YesAllWomen camp was not happy with Sanchez’s answer. Feminists took to Twitter to express their shock and outrage that a woman would suggest individual empowerment as a means of combatting rape.