Bernie Sanders

Bernie Sanders Might Not Make the Case for Socialism After All

By on 11.18.15 | 4:21PM

It seems things have soured a little for everyone's favorite socialist; Bernie Sanders, on the heels of a mediocre debate performance that saw him blame the whole of modern terrorism on "climate change," thus suggesting a few solar panels in the desert could solve all of our ISIS-related woes, it seems his campaign is "rethinking" his coming out party. 

Just a few weeks ago, the Sanders campaign was touting a huge upcoming speech in which Sanders, who has pushed a fully socialized health care program, free public education through a four-year degree, sky-high tax rates and an end to income inequality, would outline how to pay for the multi-trillion dollar welfare expansion through the very limited number of 1%-ers who wouldn't be packing up their mansion for sunnier days on private, tax free islands at the very thought of a Sanders Presidency. It is now on "indefinite hold" as the Sanders campaign tries to figure out how to sell the full Socialist package without completely turning off the majority of Democratic voters.

Bernie Sanders, Marco Rubio Share Credit Card Debt — But Only One Faces Consequences

By on 11.9.15 | 4:04PM

The media was breathlessly covering Dr. Ben Carson last week, leaving Marco Rubio's time in the spotlight hanging. After all, before they'd caught wind of the slight difference between a "full scholarship" (which military academies do seem to offer, actually, contrary to my earlier statements and according to their websites), and Dr. Carson's own offer, they were poring over Marco Rubio's bank statements, scratching their coddled heads and wondering how anyone in America could possibly have five-figure credit card debt.

Rubio had a Republican Party of Florida American Express for approximately four years, January 2005 to December 2008. That amounted to 1,307 charges in that period, for a total of $182,072.55, in total. In the previously unreleased period of January 2005 to October 2006, Rubio spent $64,777.82 on 484 charges.

Bernie Sanders Doesn’t Like Uber, Uses it Literally All The Time

By on 11.4.15 | 2:40PM

Bernie Sanders is the champion of the little guy, the downtrodden and the oppressed victims of Capitalism who have found themselves trapped in the lower middle class by bank loans, greedy politicians, lackluster bank accounts and their four-year degree in Gender Studies which had literally no job prospects to begin with but was approved for massive funding regardless.

As part of his jihad against The Man, Bernie spoke recently about how terrible Uber — the ride-sharing company that cropped up in response to the bloated, expensive taxi cartels — is, noting that it operates out of reach of the long arm of government, beyond transportation regulation and in violation of the sacrosanct bond of the labor union. Sanders said he had "serious problems" with Uber because it went unregulated. After all, how can businesses operate without the heavy hand of government guiding their way?

CNN Fact Checks SNL on Sanders Underpants Count

By on 10.19.15 | 1:27PM

Saturday night, SNL roasted the Democratic candidates in their cold open, with comedian and writer Larry David playing the part of Bernie Sanders. Somewhere along the line, David-as-Sanders made the claim that, while his colleagues were able to afford gold-plated underpants, it made more sense to elect the man with a single pair of underpants that he dried on a radiator: Bernie Sanders.

Now, far be it from me to speculate on whether Bernie does, in fact, own one pair of underpants that he dries on a radiator. I've heard stories about him hoarding plastic cafeteria silverware in his Congressional office, but nothing about any questionable laundry habits. Thankfully, CNN, which is clearly trying to earn itself the Pulitzer it should have received for its intense "missing plane" coverage several years ago, has fact-checked SNL's claim and labeled it...errrr...."underpants on fire."

I'm so glad we've cleared that up.

Joy Behar Thinks Bernie Sanders is Super Hot

By on 10.16.15 | 12:57PM

Since it's Friday, I figured it would be difficult for me to entice you with anything you needed to think about (at least, that's how I'm feeling about this week), so why not pick on an old enemy in familiar territory, The View? I mean, I do sort of feel bad about it - fewer people watch The View than watch that "live surgery" channel - but there's a certain familiartiy in subjecting yourself to such a level of tortue, and you learn to appreciate the little things in life, like people who have normal voices.

At any rate, this week, The View inevitably discussed the Democratic debate, despite having a collective grasp of policy that rivals a single stuffed animal, and their "hot takes," were, if nothing else, at 

Bernie Sanders: “When a Mother Has a Baby, She Should Stay Home With That Baby”

By on 10.15.15 | 12:11PM

Now that everyone has recovered from their post-debate hangovers, we're able to drill further into the depths of crazy the Democratic candidates were determined to reach Tuesday night. Some statements from such characters as Bernie Sanders, like the abject endorsement of socialist worker theory to address the bogeyman of wealth inequality, were nothing if not universally expected. Other statements, like Bernie's feelings on the subject of maternity leave, were not.

Ladies, under a Sanders Presidency, you'll be forced to take that year off to hang around your wiggly munchkin whether you want to or not. It's only compassionate, after all.

Every other major country on Earth, every one, including some small countries, say that when a mother has a baby, she should stay home with that baby. 

Sanders Almost Matches Clinton in Fundraising

By on 10.1.15 | 12:51PM

I saw my first Bernie Sanders "Feel the Bern" bumper sticker yesterday and it made me bemoan the state of our public education system. Really, guys? 

Seems, though, my friend in the yellow VW Bug who cut me off in a left turn lane by gliding through two lanes of traffic and almost causing several accidents in order to meander their way cluelessly onto a main thoroughfare, is not alone in their complete ignorance of how government and financial systems actually operate. Bernie Sanders managed to raise an astounding $26 million haul in a single fundraising quarter, reportedly trailing Hillary Clinton by a mere $2 million.

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton technically beat Bernie Sanders by $2 million in the chase for campaign cash over the past three months. But that isn't the story — not even close.

A Bigger Perspective

The Outsiders

By 9.28.15

Donald Trump's surge in the polls has baffled political experts everywhere, with many suggesting his popularity is merely symptomatic of a reality television obsessed culture. But it goes beyond that. The truth is, Americans don't trust or like politicians.  

A candidate's prior political experience once was viewed as a resume builder when running for President, but today is less of an asset. In a poll last month, a staggering 73% of Republican voters prefer a Washington outsider for President compared to just 21% who said they are more likely to vote for a candidate with experience. The unpopularity of career politicians has set the stage for the rise of a new class of political outsiders and a particular popularity for the candidates who speak extemporaneously, shoot from the hip and buck the Washington establishment at every turn.

Bernie Sanders Would Like You to Please Stop Comparing Him to Donald Trump

By on 9.1.15 | 4:12PM

Bernie and Donald may be two peas in the same anti-Establishment pod, garnering their respective followings based on their shared belief that "politics as usual" is no longer an effective mantra, and both sporting hairdos that defy logic, reason and, generally, gravity. But while Donald Trump may be happy with his "outsider" status, Bernie Sanders is less thrilled that Bernie-Donald comparisons are "a thing."

Speaking to MSNBC's Andrea Mitchell, Bernie whined that he'd rather people prefer to think of him as a unique and special unicorn, rather than the cross-partisan twin of a New York real estate mogul.

"No, I don't accept that for one moment," the Independent Vermont senator said on MSNBC's "Andrea Mitchell Reports" when asked if he was tapping into the same "anger" against Washington that is fueling Trump's campaign.

Bernie Sanders Isn’t Socialist Enough for Socialists

By on 7.27.15 | 4:34PM

Apparently, in politics, you can never make everyone happy.

Bernie Sanders has all the traditional marks of a socialist. He's very handsy with other people's money, he lacks a basic understanding of both economics and combs, and he calls himself a socialist. He's not trying to hide that he's actively supportive of wealth redistribution, extensive government safety nets, welfare agreements, free college tuition, free housing, free jobs and free love (and, free religion and free guns, but that's usually where liberal coverage stops). Unfortunately for one sad socialist, though, writing at POLITICO, Bernie just isn't perfect

He is, to wit, a SINO.