Barack Obama

Kid Cuts Off Barack Obama, Says He’s Heard Enough

By on 4.30.15 | 3:33PM

This afternoon, President Obama participated in a Discovery Education "virtual field trip," where he discussed current events with middle school students in person and via livestream from a middle school in Washington, D.C. 

He found out the hard way that, while the media may tolerate his long-winded answers that say quite a bit while also saying basically nothing, ten to 12 year olds are not as forgiving. The panel's middle school moderator, Osman Yahya, an adorable, bespectacled kid whose achievements earned him the right to question the President, was a more professional political moderator than almost anyone who's hosted the President in the past. 

Behold, the deft with which young Osman tells the President, as politely as possible, to please wrap it up after the Commander in Chief had rambled on for several minutes about his approach to writer's block, something a man with a team of speechwriters wouldn't be very familiar with.

Barack Obama Thanks Japan for Anime, Emoji in Preparation for State Dinner

By on 4.28.15 | 4:32PM

Although we may be still considering what impact today's events in the waters just off of Iran will have on our larger foreign policy agenda, the White House is continuing its hapless diplomatic strategy unabated.

Today, as the White House prepares for the Obamas' eighth state dinner - a soire in honor of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe - the President had some kind words at a joing press conference, thanking Japan for all of its important contributions to world culture, including Karate, anime, emoji and karaoke.

President Barack Obama said Tuesday that, among other things, the arrival of Japan’s official delegation is an opportunity to celebrate the country’s cultural contributions to the United States, like karaoke and emojis.

“Today is also a chance for Americans, especially our young people, to say thank you for all the things we love from Japan. Like karate and karaoke,” Obama said to laughter during remarks at an arrival ceremony with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. “Manga and anime. And, of course, emojis,” he added.

President Obama Speaks on Baltimore, Blames…Republicans?

By on 4.28.15 | 4:12PM

I'm honestly surprised it took 72 hours for the narrative to play out this way. That seems like an inordinantly long time for this particular President to take to blame the opposing party - which has been doing an excellent job, of late, proving that it was Harry Reid who was the cornerstone of the do-nothing Congress - for the systemic violence that has plaugued the city of Baltimore since late last week. Of course, we do have to give him a slight berth; after all, Saturday was the White House Correspondents Dinner, Sunday was the first real "golf outside" day of the year, and he's got a very special State Dinner tonight to prepare for.

Thankfully, though, he hadn't forgotten his one official obligation. And today, in his speech, he made clear that the reason the citizens of Baltimore are rioting out of control is - wait for it - because Republicans have failed to pass his legislative agenda.

The Obamas Might Abandon Chicago for New York

By on 3.27.15 | 12:13PM

Although Rahm Emanuel has pulled well ahead of challenger Chuy Garcia in the Chicago mayoral race (the last poll had him with a comfortable 15 point lead, but still without the 50% necessary to win), with a whopping 18% still undecided and a quesstionable debate performance last night, nothing is guaranteed - which might explain why the President seems less sure about his post-tenure plans. Without his former advisor in charge, there's no guarantee he'll be showered by the love and affection he expects from his waiting public.

According to reports, the fact that the Obama library still hasn't landed a permanent location points to an unsettling rumor that the Obamas will be trading their precious palace in Chicago for a home in midtown Manhattan.

Obama Might Have Purchased the House from Magnum P.I.

By on 3.20.15 | 11:52AM

Now, obviously, you're all going to whine "why am I covering something so dumb? Aren't children starving in Asia? Isn't Katy Perry probably pregnant? Why aren't you devoting your precious time and energy to these world-altering things?" Besides having been a political gossip blogger for five years, this issue, America, is really important to me.

I love Magnum P.I. and Barack Obama is about to ruin it for me. And frankly, it is an insult to everything I hold dear, including but not limited to, Mr. Tom Selleck's glorious 1980s mustache, which he wore with great aplomb as he tooled around Hawaii solving mysteries and generally just making hot pants on dudes a thing. Magnum, P.I. set the standard in my life for all men to live up to. Which is why I married a guy with a huge collection of Aloha shirts. Just short of a year ago, I completed one of my bucket list missions and saw T.C.'s chopper in action, taking off across the beach at Turtle Bay and it was possibly the greatest moment of my life.

So you will understand why this is personal.

Obama Champions Mandatory Voting

By on 3.19.15 | 12:54PM

Apparently, not enough people vote in this country for President Obama's taste, and he knows just how to make voting both more palatable and more appealing to the 60% or so of Americans with the right to vote, but who seem to lack the ability.

Make it mandatory. Because if there's anything that Americans respond to positively, it's being told what to do. 

Obama floated the idea of mandatory voting in the U.S. while speaking to a civic group in Cleveland on Wednesday. Asked about the corrosive influence of money in U.S. elections, Obama digressed into the related topic of voting rights and said the U.S. should be making it easier — not harder— for people to vote.

Just ask Australia, where citizens have no choice but to vote, the president said.

"If everybody voted, then it would completely change the political map in this country," Obama said, calling it potentially transformative. Not only that, Obama said, but universal voting would "counteract money more than anything."

President Obama Found Out About Hillary Emails from NYT

By on 3.9.15 | 1:24PM

It seems as though Hillary Clinton's troubles with email are as likely to stick around as Kim Kardashian's platinum hair (though, thankfully, the Hillary Clinton emails are less likely to expose us all to Kanye West). And while the White House may be tangentially involved, they are making it clear that, while they might have warned Hillary Clinton's staff to take a second look at their technological subpoena-avoidance plan, they had absolutely nothing to do with her decision to conduct all State Department business on a server located somewhere below the wine cellar of her Chappaqua, New York estate.

The President, of course, decided to reiterate the White House's position this weekend. When questioned on the subject, he noted that, as you can recall, no one in his administration tells him anything. He finds out about troubles brewing with his appointees the same way you do: in the media.

Media Rewriting Obama’s Prayer Breakfast “Crusades” Speech to No Avail

By on 2.9.15 | 12:38PM

By now, the Internet has thoroughly handled our fair President's National Prayer Breakfast speech, which compared the rise of radical Islam to the Crusades undertaken to recapture the Holy Land, in an argument that exhibits the type of intellectual gravitas normally seen in an inspirational email signature quote. Punch-drunk on his own moral superiority, the President lectured a room full of people who had since adeptly handled the crisis of violent Medieval Christians and, unlike their ISIS "bretheren" are not still wandering about in the desert setting fire to people in cages, on how their respective religions' darkest times, found mostly in history books the President clearly does not read, are just as deplorable. Unless, perhaps, that burning caged man has a carbon footprint.

Obama Backs Down on Assault on 529 College Savings Plans

By on 1.27.15 | 10:52PM

On Tuesday, just 36 hours after receiving scathing criticism from yours truly on these pages, President Obama has backed down on his proposal to effectively end 529 college savings plans.

Even senior Democrats were urging him to pull the plug on his stupid idea… which is why I wish he hadn’t.

As I noted, this was a great issue to beat Obama up with among his own base, though I questioned whether Republicans would have either the smarts or the cojones to actually take advantage of Obama’s policy gaffe.

Obama Issues Keystone XL Veto Threat

By on 1.6.15 | 2:14PM

Approximately one hour into the 114th Congress (not the 118th, as previously - gawd, I'm not that old yet), the Obama Administraiton has already issued its first veto threat, because if there's anything that screams "do-nothing Congress" it's the White House officially condeming Congress's first major vote before it even happens

Tomorrow at 9am, a Senate committee will convene to discuss the Keystone XL pipeline, which will carry petroleum from Canada's tar sands to American refineries, creating thousands of union jobs along the way, and preventing that same petroleum from boarding an already-waiting boat to China, where it will be used to make cheap American toys and generic foodstuffs for export. The White House is, of course, more concerned with the environmental impact no one thinks is actually a thing, and the optics of approving thousands of homegrown American jobs while Republicans are in power.

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