In case you’ve forgotten that people besides Hillary Clinton exist in this world, we’re still patiently waiting on Congress to either confirm or rebuff the Obama Administration’s nominee to replace Eric Holder as head of the Department of Justice. Loretta Lynch, as expected, does not share the ideological viewpoint of many Republicans that the DOJ should concern itself with enforcing the nation’s rules and protecting the nation’s citizenry, and less with organizing media events that prolong Al Sharpton’s cultural relevance.

Of course, not one to be left out of a situation that could rightly benefit him, and left without a job since families have started requesting that he not use their childrens’ deaths as campaign platforms, Al Sharpton surfaced today to protest the Lynch nomination process, allege that lawmakers who are stalling her confirmation are abject racists, and announce that he will undertake a hunger strike, in the vein of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and other civil rights leaders, until Loretta Lynch’s DOJ office nameplate is printed and hung.

Only, it’s just kind of a hunger strike.

Okay, it’s not a hunger strike at all. But he means it, America.

The advocacy group founded by the Rev. Al Sharpton, along with female civil-rights leaders, are staging the hunger strike, in which groups of fasters will alternate days abstaining from food until Lynch is confirmed to replace Eric Holder at the Justice Department. Dubbed “Confirm Loretta Lynch Fast,” the new tactic is designed in the mold of actions by civil rights leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and Cesar Chavez, organizers said.

That’s not, at least as far as I know, how hunger strikes actually work. 

I fail to see the profitability in having a hunger strike to begin with here. Although there are many leaders throughout history who have rallied the masses to their sides by refusing sustenance, including but not limited to Homer Simpson, I doubt many people are aware enough of the subject of Senate confirmations to find this interesting on any level. And while Republicans might take slightly greater notice of a hunger strike than they would of, say, the other prongs of the coalition strategy (like a social media campaign), I’m not sure Republicans will be moved by the sight of bussed-in protesters sipping soy lattes on their “day off.”