The Great American Saloon Series

How to Survive Thanksgiving With Liberals

By 11.25.15

According to everyone from Saturday Night Live to the Huffington Post to Salon and beyond, a horrific encounter with right-wing relatives is sure to bespoil every liberal's sacrosanct celebration of Native American Empathy Day, taint the turkey, and leave them utterly despondent at their own inability to successfully communicate their superior ideals to their troglodyte aunts and uncles.

Planned Parenthood Types Most Ironic Tweet of All Time

By on 11.17.15 | 12:28PM

We might have all had better things to do last Saturday night, like eat tacos while watching the news, but some people in this wide world of Internet spent the evening live-Tweeting the Democratic Presidential debate, as though anything important would be said by anyone involved. Interestingly, Hillary Clinton is said to have lost the debate to Bernie Sanders, Martin O'Malley and reality, claiming that she began taking money from Wall Street because she felt sorry for them after 9/11, and that radical Islam is somehow not responsible for blowing people sky high in select European countries.

Fortunately, the esteemed former Secretary of State had Planned Parenthood's savvy team of Twitterers at her disposal, and they performed swift and tactical rapid response, taking on Bernie Sanders over his stubborn and probably sexist resistance to advancing the cause of "reproductive justice," whatever the heck that means.

Saloon Series — A New Gin for a New Century

By on 11.12.15 | 2:16PM

Gin has had a weird and wild ride over the past 500 years. The Dutch were producing the piney drink in the 1500s, but adding herbs to liquor is a tradition that goes back further still to the tinkering of medieval alchemists.

Juniper berries, which give gin its characteristic scent, have been used as a spice since ancient times. When, precisely, someone first plucked them from the bush and plopped them in liquor is anyone’s guess. Pliny the Elder’s Naturalis Historia (77 to 79 CE) included a recipe for a wine-based "proto-gin," reports Aaron Knoll in his entertaining Gin: The Art and Craft of Artisan Revival.

Embattled #Mizzou Professor Melissa Click Got Grant to Attend Twilight Convention

By on 11.12.15 | 12:25PM

Yesterday, I penned a "think piece" on the subject of the University of Missouri, on how liberal professors, chancellors, university Presidents and, ultimately, coddling parents, were the ones responsible for Mizzou's complete civil breakdown. Now, to be fair, the students are also to blame - this wouldn't be happening if the students themselves had not decided to put years of education into practice rather than do something productive with their lives, like take their midterms - but it's becoming clearer and clearer that today's college students are being molded by a decidedly unserious environment.

‘Variety’ Film Critic Calls For “Diversity” in New Charlie Brown Film

By on 11.3.15 | 11:37AM

Leave it to the entertainment trade publication known as Variety to inject race into just about everything. While reviewing the new animated film The Peanuts Movie, film critic Peter Debruge said he wished the film would have more “diversity” and a “Non-White Love Interest” for the main character:

Like most classic jokes, “Peanuts” isn’t so much funny as mildly amusing, which is evidently one of the many aspects of Schulz’s legacy that his son Craig and grandson Bryan fought to protect as screenwriters and producers on the film (evidently trumping genuinely hilarious collaborator Paul Feig). But a little modernization wouldn’t have hurt, especially in the diversity department. While Franklin remains Charlie Brown’s only brown friend, a non-white love interest would have been as progressive as Schulz’s tomboyish depiction of Peppermint Patty was back in the day.

Saloon Series — Gin and Regulation: A Lesson in a Bottle

By on 10.29.15 | 8:34AM

There is a bottle that sits on my desk which serves as irrefutable proof that less regulation is better than more. 

Pull the stopper top and a remarkable aroma plumes forth. “I’d wear this as cologne,” a colleague remarked. He’s a clean-cut fellow, mind you, not a gutter dipsomaniac. “That’s really nice,” exclaimed another.

This 90-proof liquor’s scents come from juniper, cucumber, lemon, sage, lavender, black pepper, red bell peppers and pimento. It is Uncle Val’s Peppered Gin, made by 35 Maple Street Spirits in Sonoma, Calif.

Gin, you ask? Is that not the water-clear hooch from the United Kingdom that smells like pine needles? Yes, often gins are made in the London Dry style (think Beefeater). But gin need not ooze juniper.

Democrats Receive Over 99% of Professorial Support at Elite Liberal Arts Academies

By on 10.27.15 | 5:58PM

The stats are in, and, man, are they predictable.

FEC released a report this month revealing the giving of professors, from the 50 top-rated liberal arts colleges, to current presidential campaigns. As one would aptly surmise, the stereotype of liberal academia proves true. Campaign donations from the professors of these 50 institutions flow overwhelmingly into the coffers of Democratic frontrunners--Bernie Sanders. and Hillary Clinton .. 99.51% to be exact, with only 1 out of 47 donating professors even funding a Republican campaign.

Robert Paquette, Professor of History at Hamilton College, was the lone conservative in this study having donated $150 to Carly Fiorina’s . campaign. This is only a miniscule fragment when compared to the amounts surrendered over to the Democratic contenders by the other profs: $8,417 to Sanders and $20,875 to Clinton.

Boo! Are You a Xenophobe for Halloween?

By on 10.20.15 | 6:53PM


A time for macabre decorations, apprehensively watching horror flicks with your hands covering your eyes, singing the creepy yet catchy tunes from Tim Burton's movies, and indulging in overly-sweet treats (and drinks). Even a holy period to reflect on and commemorate the lives of Christian saints and, if you’re so inclined, the Reformation of Christendom. This season is also an unavoidable opportunity to dress, and even act, like another person, or animal, or monstrous creature. 

But, in case you are a student and planning on having a lot of fun with choosing your costume, here is progressive academia to deny you your costume-donning liberty. 

Valdosta State University has come to crash its students' next Halloween party with the spiked, red Kool-Aid of Political Correctness to prevent indecent exposure to 'Indians', 'Geishas', and especially 'Hillbillies'. 

UPenn Professor Anthea Butler Tweets Anti-Carson Hate Speech

By on 10.13.15 | 5:15PM

Apparently, it's not enough that liberal academicians revise history to support their political agenda and ostracize any student who dares to voice a conservative opinion, then go on to tout these crimes-against-intellect as true social justice. Now we have a progressive professor spewing racist comments, with her most recent directed against presidential hopeful Dr. Ben Carson.

According to a Twitter sighting reported by Campus Reform, @AntheaButler tweeted, "If only there was a 'coon of the year' award," as a vindictive rebuttal to Carson who defended individuals' right to brandish the Confederate flag on private lands. Campus Reform explains that "Butler’s tweet insinuated that Carson is a metaphorical slave who belongs in a wooden shed."

ABC’s Quantico Uses Timothy McVeigh to Smear American Veterans

By on 10.12.15 | 12:40PM

Coming this fall, tune in to watch a few shows critical of middle America and the US military.

At the National Press Club, Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson pointed out that the entire media business – especially the press (and the entertainment industry to a great extent) – used to be on the side of the people, but now they are only catering to a few affluent urban liberals. Isn’t that swell? The very media that’s supposed to be catering to the majority of Americans is now critical of the very audience they’re supposed to cater to. Just take a look at the SNL skit that took a cheap shot at Fox News last week.