If America is supposedly acknowledged to be the most civilized and advanced society in the world, why is it that the nine people running for the Democratic nomination for president sound like the least intelligent people in the world?
The sight of these nine will not only make you laugh but cry. We don't mean cry for your country, because this country has survived even more pathetic candidates. What strikes us is the sadness of their suffering desperation as they sweat through their pointless diatribes pleading for help. They look like a group of loveless children in a Third World country.
They all decided to run for president for the same reason -- to save America from George Bush. The only problem is that they cannot make up their minds about what is wrong with George Bush. In other words, they are not sure what the disease is, and even if they were, they'd have no idea what the cure should be. Each one campaigns as if he is the only one with the special formula to save the country. But who is stupid enough to believe that this country will not survive unless one of them else is president? Do any of these candidates really believe that if he died tomorrow it would translate into the death of our country?
The fact is, the first job of a presidential candidate is to dramatize the reason for his candidacy. He therefore, has to magnify the problems facing us so that we have to turn to him for help before we are all drowned, starved, debilitated, or destroyed. That is why the Democratic candidates are secretly celebrating our current troubles with the economy. Unfortunately, our economy does not seem to them bad enough to get a Democrat elected. So instead they've boxed themselves into a corner by dramatizing a problem for which they have no clue of finding a solution. They are screaming in the wilderness while accomplishing nothing. Like a fighter who keeps throwing punches, missing his opponent, and only succeeding in knocking himself out.
If they were in a school and were given a project of "How Not to Campaign for Public Office," they'd be graduating right now with highest honors.
Somehow, the Democrats cannot understand how the cumulative effect of their constant attacks on George Bush has only succeeded in lowering their own popularity. They have moved from the roof of the building to the basement in the polls since they decided that President Bush is really an accidental president, whose only job is to wait to be thrown out of office. Every time they compete with him, he succeeds, yet they cannot believe that he actually knows what he is doing. They convince themselves that they are brilliant and the only reason they keep losing is that he is a dummy who just happened to get lucky again.
This is not the first time the Democrats made such a ridiculous mistake in their estimate of their opponent. They did the same thing with Ronald Reagan. They were just as irrational in their assessment of his intelligence as they are now in their estimation of George Bush's I.Q. However, this "dummy" has the same deceptive craftiness that derailed and dismissed the Democrats two decades ago. Since the Democrats relish the pleasure of looking down at George Bush, they never take the true measure of what they are up against. That is why they are so wantonly reckless in their attacks on him, like a mob of floundering zealots who are hitting everything except the target. As with Ronald Reagan, they have decided he is the wrong man for the job. No matter how irrational, absurd or even ridiculous their attacks, they think the people disrespect Bush as much as they do and so will buy their act. Fat chance.
Their wildly incoherent attacks about the war on Iraq provides one example after another wacko condition. When Bush's poll numbers went down somewhat, they collectively claimed that this war against Iraq was inexcusable and unthinkable. But when just before the war started Bush's poll numbers went up, it was amazing how the Democrats suddenly found it only slightly inexcusable but almost acceptable. After the war was won, and Bush's poll numbers shot up to the sky, they suddenly found that the war had been not only a good idea but inevitable and unavoidable, and indeed insisted it would have been inexcusable to allow ourselves to avoid the responsibility that we owe to the people of Iraq to protect them from the most vicious dictator of our time.
If they had any respect for President Bush or the American people they would never have made such a serious series of condescendingly stupid statements and expected to be taken seriously.
Jackie Mason is a comedian. Raoul Felder is an attorney.