What if the media approached every story as they approach Israel?
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (Sept. 15, 1963) -- Freedom fighters today protested the federal government's aggressive desegregation effort by bombing a church used by the descendants of slaves. Four children were killed. It was yet another in a series of attacks by separatist fighters throughout the occupied Confederacy.
The rising tide of violence comes 100 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed African slaves throughout the United States and Confederate States of America, and after increasing signals from Washington that the occupied Confederacy will be forced to end its traditional segregation laws.
Nine years ago, Washington sent troops to Topeka, Kans., and other places to force the desegregation of schools, and locals here expect more troops to enforce the coming federal law ending segregation altogether. Bombings and other attacks are widely viewed as a justified response to aggressive federal attempts to undo local traditions and mores.
LAS VEGAS (Sept. 16, 2006) -- O.J. Simpson was arrested today for trying to reclaim some of his own property from a memorabilia dealer. The Hall of Fame running back said he merely came to collect some autographed photos and other items that were his. But the police arrested him and charged him with robbery, although there is no dispute that the property was Simpson's, at least at one time.
Simpson and his entourage were armed to protect themselves from what they described as the dealer's aggression, saying he refused numerous offers to negotiate the property's return so they had no choice but to take it back by force.
"That sh*t was rightfully mine, man," Simpson said. "I wore that suit during my trial. You saw me in it. Hell, everybody saw me in it! It's MINE! I don't care how he got it, it's mine, and I'm taking it back. And those Joe Namath cleats, too."
The dealer was available for comment, but frankly, we believe Simpson's story, so we didn't bother interviewing him.
WARSAW (Sept. 1, 1939) -- The German Army invaded Poland today in an effort to claim ancestral lands wrongly taken from the German people by Western powers 20 years before and to protect Germanic people from increasingly violent attacks by Poles, the German government announced.
German Chancellor Adolf Hitler had attempted repeatedly to negotiate with Poland for the return of Danzig and the "Polish corridor" to Germany, but his efforts to achieve a peaceful return of traditionally German lands were rebuffed. After a summer in which the Polish people escalated their attacks on ethnic Germans within this territory, Chancellor Hitler said he was left with no choice but to defend his people from Polish aggression by extending to them German military and political protection.
Chancellor Hitler's move to protect the more than 1 million Germans living under Polish occupation was hailed throughout Germany, where Hitler is enormously popular. Britain and France claim that there are fewer than 750,000 German minorities living in Poland and that there is no evidence any of them have been abused. But in Germany, stories of violent attacks by Poles are common.
Chancellor Hitler assured Great Britain, which has a treaty obligation to protect Poland, that his move was purely defensive in nature and the German military posed no threat to peaceful Poles or to the British people.