December, viewed from beginning to end and with the advantage of hindsight, demonstrates incontrovertibly that President-elect Barack H. Obama is indeed a hind. On the other hand, by the end of December he was at least vindicated in the claim repeated so stentorianly on the campaign trail that Washington’s political system is “broken.” By then, as most of his appointments had been named, leaked, or under threat of indictment, it became clear that the Washington system was, for a certitude, broken. How else does one explain a system that, having rejected the candidacy of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton in the Democratic primaries, nonetheless finds itself saddled by year’s end with a third Clinton administration?
The Continuing Crisis
OCTOBER GAVE WAY TO NOVEMBER and the presidential polls were right! So was Mr. John Radima, the West Kenyan witchdoctor who on November 1 scattered the prescribed number of bones, shells, and stones at his shoeless feet and pronounced Senator Barack H. Obama the likely winner of the 2008 presidential race in faraway America. Senator Obama’s election three days later was almost anticlimactic, at least in West Kenya and certainly in the newsrooms of America’s mainstream moron media. In Kogelo, Kenya, home of Senator Obama’s father, the victory set off a vast slaughter of bulls, chickens, and goats. Said Mr. Abongo Malik Obama, the president-elect’s oldest half-brother, “We are Africans, so our plan is to slaughter a bull….” In Hollywood and Manhattan, the celebrations were more restrained, though MSNBC’s Mr. Chris Matthews presumably spent the immediate post-election hours under the thumbs, fingers, and feet of his chiropractor in hopes of ameliorating Mr. Matthews’s famously tingling leg. On The Charlie Rose Show, the mesmerized likes of Messrs.
September proved to be a month of frightful economic turbulence, rudely distracting the electorate from the delightful amusement provided by Senator Joseph Biden and the Prophet Obama. Early in the month Senator John McCain appeared to be pulling ahead of the Obama-Biden slapstick. The clever Republican presidential candidate plucked from the Alaskan countryside a lady governor who is both easy on the eyes and an NRA-certified huntress. Then the country’s year-long credit tightening suffered a veritable seizure! The Bush administration rushed forward with a $700 billion tax payer rescue, but many Americanos objected. In Ukraine, taxpayers were nonplussed in the city of Golaya Pristan, after city leaders marked the town’s 299th anniversary by unveiling a huge cement frog of indistinct national origin. It certainly did not look like a Ukrainian. “What on earth has a frog got to do with our town?” exclaimed Mrs. Natalia Slivka, a local sage who went on: “And why have they put up a massive statue using taxpayers’ money to mark the town’s 299th anniversary?” Well, the city leaders could have unveiled a cement ukulele or a pollywog.
August witnessed the Democratic National Convention transform itself from the usual extended session of group therapy to a religious awakening. And one other thing—those ritualistic liberals who at the end of the Cold War asseverated that Russia had been a paper tiger all along were again exposed as boobies. On August 8, Russia invaded Georgia with a massive military strike. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin insisted that the assault was in truth a peacekeeping measure to save scenic South Ossetia from the Georgian brutes, but students of geopolitics speculate that the action was really meant to pressure former Soviet Bloc countries to remain in the Russian orbit. How persuasive this Russian aggression will be remains uncertain. Already there are signs that recent Russian belligerence has triggered vigorous countermeasures from liberal-minded internationalists in the region. Throughout the Balkans, statues of American pop figures are being put up as “good luck charms against war,” according to Bloomberg News. In 2005 progressives in the Bosnian city of Mostar endeavored to ward off violence by erecting a bronze statue of the kung fu movie star Bruce Lee.