In expectation of runnin’ for president, I’ve been workin’ with a language coach. But I still keep gettin’ tripped up. The other day I was at a nice Dallas café, and I ordered two Buds Lite and the chef’s special paninus. The waiter looked at me funny and then asked me to meet him in the alley. I never even got my sandwich! How do I make myself seem smart without coming across as a faker?
Governor of Texas
What makes you so sure the American people want a member of the intelligentsia in the White House? After all, they did elect that dolt Zachary Taylor. No, what Americans want is a man with true grit. A man who wears sandpaper boxer shorts. One who’s willing to eat the larva at the bottom of the tequila bottle, or to lick an electric fence, just to taste the voltage. A man who’s not afraid to make love to his first and only wife under the twinkling stars, after breaking into the local planetarium.
Might you be such a man?