Hillary Clinton Spends a Lot of Cash on Pantsuits

By on 5.29.15 | 12:56PM

This morning, we learned that Bill Clinton won't accept an award from your organization unless you also offer him a cool half million for the Clinton Foundation — and it doesn't matter if your organization is doing the Lord's work of helping victims of the Indonesian tsunami, either, as supermodel Petra Nemcova found out when she tried to book the former President for her Happy Hearts Fund benefit, and offering him a lifetime achievement award that you present. In order to gladly and generously accept an award for his years of service to the cause of global relief, Bill Clinton wouldn't set foot on the stage for less than a $500,000 donation to a family fund that mostly keeps his family in posh NYC penthouses.

Bernie Sanders Is a ‘Rape Culture’ All on His Own

By on 5.28.15 | 4:31PM

In keeping with the way we journalists are supposed to write about sexual assault nowadays, I'm going to say in advance of the rest of this piece, these two words: trigger warning. Now, I'm not saying that in order to steel your backbone against the disgusting and potentially disturbing content I am about to deliver to you, lest you suffer mental distress; I'm saying that in order to steel your backbone against the fact that it's all coming from Bernie Sanders, and the very thought of "Bernie Sanders" and "fantasy" in the same sentence makes my ladyparts crawl up into my intestines a little bit and it will no doubt have a similar effect on you. If you're lucky. I assume you'll also have night terrors.

Rick Santorum Dumps the Duggars

By on 5.28.15 | 4:01PM

Rick Santorum has decided to inflict himself, yet again, on our fair nation, running for President a third (I think) time. Now, while I'm not entirely certain what America did to deserve such an honor, clearly God is trying to punish us for some string of transgressions, because otherwise, His chosen candidate, Santorum, would have long ago retired to head up a DC-based family-focused think tank or sell panini presses on late night television.

George Pataki is Also Running For President

By on 5.28.15 | 11:57AM

George Pataki, the former New York Governor, has thrown his hat into the ring for the Republican nomination, because there's nothing the GOP field needs more right now than yet another over-50 white dude with questionable conservative credentials whose career peaked more than ten years ago, vying for the nation's top office.

George Pataki on Thursday officially announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination, adding another long-shot candidate to an increasingly crowded 2016 primary field.

The former New York governor faces steep odds — he’s barely registering in national or state-level polls, he hasn’t been in office for nearly a decade, and his moderate stance on issues such as gun control and the environment make him an afterthought with much of the party’s conservative base. He’ll also struggle to win over establishment Republicans and donors who are drawn to bigger names such as former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie.

Blumenthal Earned $10K Per Month From the Clinton Foundation While Advising State

By on 5.28.15 | 11:45AM

Usually, when you have a person in your life that creates drama, you try to minimize your contact with them, even if you can't cut contact off completely. You might see them once in a while for a drink, if you've been imbibing earlier in the day and can tolerate them, or you might limit your contact with them to situations where you can exit quickly, like DC cocktail parties, company picnics or emergency rooms.

Media Matters

Bruce Bartlett Brainwashed?

By 5.28.15

I’ve always liked Bruce Bartlett, and I still do.

In addition to his service in the Reagan administration, he later wrote a superb book that I have referred to many times: Wrong on Race: The Democratic Party’s Buried Past.

But I have to say when I learned that Mr. Bartlett had appeared on CNN to say that conservatives were “self-brainwashing”? Well, I laughed.  Here’s what he said

Many conservatives live in a bubble where they watch only Fox News on television, they listen only to conservative talk radio — Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, many of the same people. When they go onto the Internet, they look at conservative websites like National Review, Newsmax, World Net Daily.

And so, they are completely in a universe in which they are hearing the same exact ideas, the same arguments, the same limited amount of data repeated over and over and over again. And that’s brainwashing.

The Federal Government is Looking to Control Your Puddles

By on 5.27.15 | 6:21PM

And lo, he of the name Obama shall have dominion over all of the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and the water that collects in the potholes after a rainstorm.

President Obama’s administration on Wednesday claimed dominion over all of America’s streams, creeks, rills, ditches, brooks, rivulets, burns, tributaries, criks, wetlands — perhaps even puddles — in a sweeping move to assert unilateral federal authority.

The Environmental Protection Agency, along with the Army Corps of Engineers, says it has the authority to control all waterways within the United States — and will exercise that authority.

“We’re finalizing a clean water rule to protect the streams and the wetlands that one in three Americans rely on for drinking water. And we’re doing that without creating any new permitting requirements and maintaining all previous exemptions and exclusions,” EPA head Gina McCarthy told reporters Wednesday.

Bernie Sanders Says Spray Deodorant is Starving America’s Kids

By on 5.27.15 | 6:05PM

I have a number of problems with Axe body spray, almost all of them stemming from terrible experiences in the Jersey Shore era, where the scent would literally permeate the walls of any building into which a college-aged dudebro walked. It's certainly choked and saddened me. It has never, as I can recall, however, starved me.

But according to newly minted Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, who is mostly a Socialist when he remembers to take his medication, spray deodorants like Axe body spray are actually what is standing in between the poor, starving children of America and their dreams of a happy life on a progressive commune where everyone wears flowy skirts and no one wants for anything because there's always a grilled cheese cooking on a carburetor. 

Elizabeth Warren Made Money Flipping Foreclosed Homes

By on 5.27.15 | 5:27PM

Before Elizabeth Warren was on the front lines of class warfare, chopping through buraucratic red tape with her tomahawk of populism, she was a lowly resident of Oklahoma City, buying houses on the cheap from old people and flipping them for six figure profits. 

Oh, you didn't know that Elizabeth Warren (D-$8.5 million net worth) was once a hard-hearted foreclosed property flipper who took advantage of people who lost their houses to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, purchasing their homes at outrageously low prices, quickly rehabbing them (and in some cases, making very few meaningful upgrades) and then turning them back onto the market for a healthy sum? Well, she did. The Boston Globe wrote about it when she ran for Congress some time ago, but the allegation was newly resurrected by National Review just today

Clintons Ensnared in FIFA World Cup Scandal, Attain Corruption Holy Grail

By on 5.27.15 | 1:27PM

Okay, guys, it's time to welcomeme back to civilization. As you've gotten used to some of our new contributors, coming to us from locales far and wide, I've been soaking up the rays and the key lime pie in Key West. Sadly, I am not being summoned back from Margaritaville to cover things that are more important to the world than whether it's possible to find a brunch that also features a drag show and really good Bloody Marys (there isn't, but Blue Heaven hits the brunch and Bloody Mary boxes).