Politics

Rep. Peter King Will “Jump Off A Bridge” If Ted Cruz Gets Nominated

By on 3.24.15 | 12:40PM

Someone needs a nap.

Speaking to Wolf Blitzer yesterday afternoon, a fact I'm noting because otherwise, you'd just ask whether Wolf Blitzer was actually still on the air, Rep. Peter King decided to let America know that, if they end up nominating Ted Cruz for President in 2016, well, then, they'll just have to do without Rep. Peter King. Because Ted Cruz is a carnival barker and is probably going to push Peter King off a bridge. Or something.

Rep. Peter King (R-NY) appeared on CNN’s The Situation Room Monday afternoon and when Wolf Blitzer asked him to explain his statement that compared Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) to a “carnival barker,” the Republican congressman opted not to walk back his comments but instead take about a dozen steps forward.

Iran Talks Stall, But Not Because of “Death to America” Comments

By on 3.24.15 | 12:18PM

I'm a tiny bit late picking this up because I had to wait in a ridiculous online queue for Lollapalooza tickets which I didn't get anyway. I suppose that's not that big of a deal, since Kanye West is rumored to be the primary headliner, but still. Can't something remind me that summer is only a few short months away?

Anyway, while I'm busy feeling sorry for myself over concert tickets, John Kerry, who should feel sorry for himself for being in any way involved with foreign policy, will allow another deadline to pass: the original deadline by which the international negotiations team was supposed to have a deal that would halt the progress of a nuclear Iran. Unsurprisingly, that deadline has been rendered all but meaningless, and Kerry will not even return to the barganing table until Thursday. 

The original Tuesday deadline in the Iran nuclear talks will pass without a framework for a final agreement nor congressional action on bills to impose new sanctions or require approval of a deal.

Starbucks Has Solved Racism, Will Move On To Other Things Now

By on 3.23.15 | 4:28PM

If you, like me, were disappointed over the weekend when the person mixing up your tiramisu latte didn't offer to have an in-depth conversation with you about the state of race relations in America ("it's 8:30am on a Saturday, it's way too early to talk about racism"), you may not have a chance to live out your dream of discussing uncomfortable subjects with uninformed strangers much longer. At least, as far as Starbucks is mandating it.

According to Starbucks, the #RaceTogether promotion, which was widely ridiculed for being utterly ridiculous, ended on Sunday and baristas are no longer required to request that you "race together" to a better America. They're "moving on" to other aspects of the multi-dimensional campaign. And while most people looking forward to getting a bit of social justice with their morning espresso were under the impression the promotion would last for weeks, Starbucks says the short stint was all that was in the plan, and that they're "moving on."

Ted Cruz First To Declare For President

By on 3.23.15 | 11:27AM

It's morning in America. Although, given that I'm under 2 inches of snow and Ted Cruz is dominating the news cycle, it's more likely to be a morning in December of 2013, than one in March of 2015. But whatever. Happy Presidential Election Kickoff Day, everyone!

And, as announced, Senator Ted Cruzis the first out of the gate to declare his intention to compete for the Republican Presidential nomination. He officially launched his campaign for President this morning, with the obligatory "video that looks like it was cobbled together after someone ran a search for "America" on a stock photo site. Cruz's is entitled "A Time for Truth," and it is very, very patriotic. There are many waving flags, tow-headed children, working Americans, baseballs flying and things of that nature.

His longer, more comprehensive ad, which features him in shirtsleeves talking about his American-ness, is here

Political Hay

The Texas Reagan Announces for President

By 3.23.15

You could call him the Texas Reagan.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz is announcing today that he is a candidate for president.

The announcement will come in a speech at Liberty University, the famous Virginia school founded by the late Rev. Jerry Falwell. There will be no “exploratory committee,” with Cruz moving straight to an announcement of candidacy. This will make the Texas son of a Cuban immigrant and one-time star of Harvard Law School the first officially declared candidate for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination.

Marie Harf: You Didn’t Like My Jobs for Jihadis Idea Because You’re Sexist

By on 3.20.15 | 12:33PM

I'll give one thing to State Department Spokeswoman Marie Harf: when backed into a corner, she sticks to her guns. She doesn't allow anyone or anything to force her into self-reflection. 

We knew already that Ms. Harf thought her "Jobs for Jihadis" quip - that terrorism, and specifically ISIS, attracts people because they can't find other means of financial stability - was on the money, and that she considered herself just to be repeating the company line. But now, in a speech to what appears to be a group of journalism students, Ms. Harf would like to clarify that, not only was the reaction to her comment overblown, it was overblown because you are all a bunch of sexist, ageist rubes

Obama Might Have Purchased the House from Magnum P.I.

By on 3.20.15 | 11:52AM

Now, obviously, you're all going to whine "why am I covering something so dumb? Aren't children starving in Asia? Isn't Katy Perry probably pregnant? Why aren't you devoting your precious time and energy to these world-altering things?" Besides having been a political gossip blogger for five years, this issue, America, is really important to me.

I love Magnum P.I. and Barack Obama is about to ruin it for me. And frankly, it is an insult to everything I hold dear, including but not limited to, Mr. Tom Selleck's glorious 1980s mustache, which he wore with great aplomb as he tooled around Hawaii solving mysteries and generally just making hot pants on dudes a thing. Magnum, P.I. set the standard in my life for all men to live up to. Which is why I married a guy with a huge collection of Aloha shirts. Just short of a year ago, I completed one of my bucket list missions and saw T.C.'s chopper in action, taking off across the beach at Turtle Bay and it was possibly the greatest moment of my life.

So you will understand why this is personal.

Hillary Clinton Says We Have a “Fun Deficit,” Wants to Create Adult Camp

By on 3.19.15 | 8:54PM

When I think of Hillary Clinton, I do not normally think, "fun." Turns out, the feeling is mutual.

This afternoon, speaking to the American Camp Association New York and New Jersey Tri-State CAMP Conference, she suggested that, since America has been so down in the dumps lately, with all this nonsense about emails and Iranians getting the bomb, maybe what we really need to address is our "fun deficit." And she knows precisely how to do it.

Adult camps.

Hillary Clinton would love to see sleepaway camps for adults and more relationship-building in Washington, she said Thursday at what will likely be her final paid appearance before launching her expected presidential campaign.

"We really need camps for adults,"  the former secretary of state told the American Camp Association of New York and New Jersey’s Tri-State CAMP Conference. "None of the serious stuff ... I think we have a fun deficit in America."

Obama Champions Mandatory Voting

By on 3.19.15 | 12:54PM

Apparently, not enough people vote in this country for President Obama's taste, and he knows just how to make voting both more palatable and more appealing to the 60% or so of Americans with the right to vote, but who seem to lack the ability.

Make it mandatory. Because if there's anything that Americans respond to positively, it's being told what to do. 

Obama floated the idea of mandatory voting in the U.S. while speaking to a civic group in Cleveland on Wednesday. Asked about the corrosive influence of money in U.S. elections, Obama digressed into the related topic of voting rights and said the U.S. should be making it easier — not harder— for people to vote.

Just ask Australia, where citizens have no choice but to vote, the president said.

"If everybody voted, then it would completely change the political map in this country," Obama said, calling it potentially transformative. Not only that, Obama said, but universal voting would "counteract money more than anything."

Nuclear Deal to Allow Iran 6,000 Centrifuges

By on 3.19.15 | 12:13PM

I won't spend too much time parsing this out, since I'm sure others on the site will have much to say about it, but good news everyone! We've apparently reached some sort of deal with Iran, and it appears that it will put Iran in a position where, in just under a year, they'll be able to enrich enough uranium to produce a nuclear weapon. 

We're just so good at this foreign policy thing. 

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