Political Hay

Can’t We All Get Along?

By From the Sept/Oct 2014 issue

At a recent small dinner at the end of the fabulous Freedomfest gathering at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas, major supply siders, libertarians, Tea Partiers, and traditional conservatives gathered to discuss strategies to regain political power in Washington. The libertarian faction fumed with the familiar complaint that the GOP will only win back young and female voters in 2016 by abandoning social issues like abortion and gay marriage—which would in effect toss the evangelicals off the bus.

Yet this has also become a common recommendation from the country-club Republicans who may not be members of the Tea Party movement but who write the big checks. “We must have a truce on the social issues; it is turning off voters” complains one prominent Wall Street financier who raises money for the party. By “truce,” he means “surrender.”

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Dems May Try to Save Mary Landrieu With Hail Mary Keystone Pass

By on 11.12.14 | 6:36PM

Mary Landrieu needs to get some friends, and fast, or Louisiana will solidify the Republican majority in the Senate.

When the DSCC pulls out of a race because someone can "go it alone," usually independent organizations step in to fill the void, if there's a reason. And according to the Capitol City Project, independent donors are stepping up - just not for Mary Landrieu. In the last week, over $1 million dollars has flowed into Louisiana to impact this race, exclusively from conservative leaning PACs. Her only major pre-election PAC supporter, Americans for Responsible Solutions, has been oddly stingy following the announcement that the race will go to a runoff. And it's about to get even worse: Republicans have $7 million in broadcast reservations. In Landrieu's corner: the Humane Society, which has about $101,000 in reserved ad space. And they'll probably repurpose that ad buy to sell those adorable address stickers you get in the mail every Christmas.

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Nancy Pelosi Blames Midterm Losses on Ebola

By on 11.12.14 | 4:20PM

Nancy Pelosi would like you to believe that, despite losing the Senate majority and several important governorships, the Democratic loss isn't all that significant. After all, those blatantly biased reporters at Fox News spent weeks harping away at how the Middle East is falling apart, and that the government's response to the short-lived Ebola outbreak was hapless at best. And those poor, stupid voters, who were so supportive of the Democratic party two short years ago, were hoodwinked into believing that Democrats had no ability to govern effectively or manage in a crisis. 

Plus, according to Nancy, Barack Obama has had just so many successes, that voters just can't even process them anymore.

“I don’t think it was a failure of his message; it was the extent of his success. Let’s say it in a more positive way. This president has accomplished many great things,” Pelosi said of the president. “You know there is always an October eclipse. We couldn’t catch a break.”

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Valerie Jarrett Has a Burn Book

By on 11.12.14 | 4:08PM

To start, I don't think that Valerie Jarrett is the President's real problem. Everyone has that sycophantic friend that they call on to reassure them that it's okay, when you know it's not. Like when you ned someone to tell you that that red dress you bought that's two sizes too small doesn't make you look like you've been eating nothing but Krispy Kremes for a month, and that it doesn't really matter that you had to walk home barefoot Sunday morning with your panties balled up in your purse. Not that either of those things has ever happened to me. But the point is, every girl's got a friend with low self-esteem that helps them repair their psyche and pick up 8's on Tindr.

Valerie Jarrett is that kind of person, either to Michelle or to Barack Obama. The apparent problem with Valerie Jarrett is that, unlike other people who have these types of friends, the Obamas seem to have given her real power, and have now reached a point where she exacts too much influence within their inner circle. And, consequently, instead of using her flattery to temporarily rebuild their self-image following a devastating defeat, they've started to believe her hype. 

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GOP Unseats Begich in Alaska, Picks Up Senate Seat #8

By on 11.12.14 | 12:36PM

The GOP bloodbath from last Tuesday has finally swept north. Last night Alaska finished counting all of its absentee ballots, and GOP Senate candidate Dan Sullivan was declared the winner, unseating Demcratic incumbent Mark Begich by around 8,000 votes. This is the GOP's 8th Senate pickup. 

Republican U.S. Senate candidate Dan Sullivan defeated Sen. Mark Begich, the Democratic incumbent, in Alaska’s U.S. Senate race Wednesday – a win that gives the GOP eight Senate pickups in the midterm elections.

The Republican Party also is seeking a ninth seat in Louisiana’s runoff in December.

Sullivan ran a confident campaign, ignoring the debate schedule Begich established and setting his own terms.

He pledged to fight federal overreach, talked about energy independence and, at seemingly every opportunity, sought to tie Begich to President Barack Obama and Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid, who are unpopular in Alaska.

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How Do You Solve a Problem Like Executive Amnesty?

By on 11.11.14 | 3:39PM

According to President Obama, who is recovering from his sound defeat at the ballot box by insisting that people who didn't vote support him, and therefore he has a mandate from a majority of Americans who would rather watch Lifetime movies and eat Cheet-os than make decisions about their elected leadership, has said that if Congress does not pass immigration reform by the end of the year, he'll pass it himself, traditional Constitutional limitations on Executive authority be damned.

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Dems Calling MSNBC To Find Out About President Obama

By on 11.11.14 | 1:08PM

The President has gone underground, at least as far as Congressional Democrats are concerned. 

While they were once such good friends, now, it turns out, he never calls, he never writes, he never sends flowers, and he most certainly never appraises them of his legislative agenda. According to MSNBC this morning, Congressional Democrats have actually be calling the cable news station, just in case their sources at the White House has heard something they haven't.

How terribly sad. I bet the Senate Democrats get lonely in their little offices, just pining away for a phone call from the President. It's almost too much to bear. 

The funny thing is, the White House still wonders why Congressional Democrats didn't run on the President's agenda. Considering this new information, it might not even be that they disagreed with it. It might be because they just didn't know what the hell was going on.

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Political Hay

Ted Cruz Wins: The Shutdown Worked

By 11.11.14

“There is no possibility of a government shutdown. Remember me? I’m the guy that gets us out of government shutdowns,”
— Soon-to-be-Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to Time magazine

The lefties over at Think Progress were elated.

It was September 30, 2013, and they thought they had the GOP right where they wanted it as Texas Senator Ted Cruz plowed ahead with the idea of defunding Obamacare — an action that caused Democrats to promptly shut down the government — and blame not just Cruz but the Republican Party. The whole event was giving prominent Republicans in and out of office the political willies. 

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Joe Biden is Calling Children in Iowa Now

By on 11.10.14 | 4:55PM

The 2016 campaign has officially begun, and let it be known that Joe Biden is the first to start officially contacting voters ahead of the Iowa caucus. 

Apparently, Joe Biden has a rabid 3-year-old fan in Iowa who likes to talk to her imaginary friend, also Joe Biden, on her fake plastic cell phone. Considering that her parents might be potential participants in the caucus system, Joe Biden decided to give his number one fan in middle America a real, live, phone call last Wednesday.

Avery's grandmother, Becky Burke, posted a message on Joe Biden's White House website eight months ago telling him about his young fan. She never gave it a second thought until her phone rang Wednesday night.

"He said 'This is Joe Biden' and I said, 'Who the hell is this?’ And he said, 'This is Joe Biden,' and I said, 'I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I said that to you," Burke said.

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Clay Aiken’s Donors Feel Duped by Reality Show Campaign

By on 11.10.14 | 12:39PM

There are two things to take from this FrontiersLA article. One, that Clay Aiken was still collecting money for his failing campaign at the end of September, at homes of the Hollywood less-than-elite (apparently, he couldn't excite Gwyneth Paltrow, so he had to settle for the support of a correspondent for Extra). And two, no one who attended any of his LA fundraisers knew that they were being taped for a reality show, because they were under the impression that Clay Aiken was a serious candidate for Congress. 

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