Politics

President Obama Misses Point, Date of April Fools

By on 4.2.15 | 12:12PM

Issued forth from the White House this morning: Barack Obama's April Fools Day joke. It's supposed to be an impression of House of Cards main character, Frank Underwood. I think. That's what the headline says, at least. I'm not convinced.

I'm also not convinced the White House just didn't forget April Fools Day and tried to come up with something they could tape between the President's busy meeting schedule. No doubt this impression just kills at White House press pools, but it's not exactly convincing me that Frank Underwood has been hiding inside Barack Obama's skin for the last six years. After all, Frank Underwood gets stuff done, and I can't really say the same for President Obama.

The View to Cast Monica Lewinsky As Co-Host?

By on 4.1.15 | 1:07PM

I'm about 85% sure this isn't an April Fool's joke, but only because she can't be a worse addition to The View lineup of shrieking harpies than Rosie O'Donnell.

Barbara Walters understands that, since people have moved on to binge-watching serial Internet television programs and cable news while the work from home and/or wait patiently for their monthly Social Security checks, her now-ancient daily chat show is in need of a serious makeover. Producers thought, perhaps of replacing O'Donnell with a bevy of uncontrollable, screaming wildlife, but were apparently made aware that most viewers would not know the difference, and so Barbara Walters had to come up with a new idea on how to revamp her flagging program. 

America, it seems, has a fever. And the only prescription is more leftovers from the 1990s

Ed Schultz Wins TV Argument By Shutting Off Mic

By on 4.1.15 | 12:29PM

We already know that Ed Schultz, like many of his cable network prime-time chat show hosts, has an odd definition of what can be considered a "civil conversation," but an argument yesterday with Heritage Foundation fellow Ryan Anderson took the Schultz show to a new level of discourse.

After a brief argument, where Anderson explains the legal rameficiations of the Hobby Lobby v. Burwell decision on existing Religious Freedom Restoration Acts, and how Federal district and circuit courts have long since determined that even state RFRAs that fail to mention corporations by name as a protected group share in RFRA's protections, Anderson then goes on to explain how RFRA does not allow for blatant discrimination, though Schultz seems to think that's the position of the "right wing." After finding he can get nowhere, Ed Schultz decides to end the argument he's losing by cutting off Anderson's mic.

Cuomo Bans Travel to Indiana But Not Cuba

By on 3.31.15 | 4:01PM

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has seen his dreams of being President in 2016 fade away, like the waning career of his live-in girlfriend, Food Network's Sandra Lee, but he's not about to give up his quest to be a progressive hero.

Responding to the outcry over Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Cuomo is bravely banning all non-essential state-sponsored travel to Indiana, in the hopes that preventing possibly twelve New Yorkers from interacting with the government of a midwestern state will somehow convince Indiana Gov. Mike Pence that he has sided, somehow, with anti-gay bigots. Before Indiana can be thoroughly relieved that it will get a short but well-earned break from New York, they will first have to read through Cuomo's strongly worded letter admonishing their "legally sanctioned discrimination" and whatnot.

Bill Clinton Says 99% of House of Cards is True

By on 3.31.15 | 3:27PM

Apparently. Bill Clinton is a fan of House of Cards, and told the show's star Kevin Spacey so when he met Spacey at an event recently.

According to Clinton, who was known for being a particularly effective President, the show, which depicts the rise of Frank Underwood from lowly Congressman to White House hopeful, is "99%" true. The 1% that's not true? How easily Frank Underwood can move a bill through Congress.

Former President Bill Clinton told "House of Cards" star Kevin Spacey the D.C. drama is a lot closer to fact than fiction.

"He tells me, 'I love that 'House of Cards,''" Spacey said in an interview with Gotham Magazine about the Netflix series.

Spacey went into an impression of the former president when describing Clinton's review of the show.

"Kevin, 99% of what you do on that show is real. The 1% you get wrong is you could never get an education bill passed that fast," Spacey said, recounting Clinton's comment.

NSA Was Totally Going to Stop Spying Until Edward Snowden Showed Up

By on 3.31.15 | 3:16PM

Edward Snowden doesn't seem to be enjoying his Russian home - word has it that he's looking to barter a plea deal with the United States in order to make a return - but in the wake of his massive intelligence leak that blew the lid off of the NSA's data collection program, it was at least assumed that his actions were responsible for halting, or at least reeling in, the program itself.

Now, the NSA, which has been facing backlash over its program for more than a year, especially from privacy advocates that argue that even if the collection program stopped terrorism, that Americans should have been informed of the privacy they were giving up, says that it's because of Edward Snowden that the program continued for so long. In fact, according to intelligence officials, the NSA was totally on the way to scrapping the program when Snowden leaked his information to journalists.

Because if there's anything you can count on a government entity to do, it's to discontinue an ineffective program. Or something.

Harry Reid: “I Lied About Romney, But He Didn’t Win, Did He?”

By on 3.31.15 | 1:06PM

I blacked out for a good portion of the 2012 election cycle, because at the time, I was helping out the Romney campaign and competing with the rest of the GOP to see how quickly I could spiral into a substance abuse problem, just to make it all seem okay. But I do remember, vaguely, Harry Reid's speech on the floor of Congress, where he claimed that Mitt Romney hadn't paid taxes for the last decade, because an anonymous source told him so and had the records to prove it.

Single Device User Hillary Clinton Actually Used Two Devices At State

By on 3.31.15 | 12:49PM

Remember when Hillary Clinton stood in front of a press gaggle at the United Nations and claimed that she used her personal email in order to simplify her communications routine, as her tiny little female brain was unable to account for two mobile devices at the same time, despite her quick adaptation to the iPad in addition to her phone? Sure, we all do. I missed lunch for it. The things I do for you people.

Well, it turns out that, once Clinton released her emails to the Associated Press, she was betrayed, somewhat ironically, by her real inability to use two devices. In at least one communication with her senior aide Huma Abedin, where Clinton mistakenly replied to a very important State Department email about drone debris in Pakistan, with a series of queries about benches and floral arrangements.

Biden Remembers Ted Kennedy — And the Senate Locker Room

By on 3.30.15 | 5:08PM

The Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the U.S. Senate opens today in Boston, and the ribbon cutting, which featured a line of VIPs and high-profile speakers, has lent itself to a wealth of unintentionally hilarious Ted Kennedy tributes. 

First, President Obama, who opened the Center, took a moment to consider a world where we were all more like Ted Kennedy: a world where, I suppose, we all conducted ourselves with blatant disregard for the human beings around us, as we failed repeatedly to bridge any sort of partisan divide, pursuing our own dogged commitment to amassing influence and tolerating large quantities of alcohol. 

And then, Vice President Joe Biden, who, like many people, recalled that the erstwhile Senator was Virgil-like guide into the deeper, darker areas of Senate life.

Like, the naked ones.

Connecticut to Boycott Indiana Over RFRA, Forgets It Has Its Own

By on 3.30.15 | 1:10PM

Presient Obama isn't the only person who has selective memory when it comes to voting for and passing a Religious Freedom Restoration Act. 

This morning, the governor of Connecticut, Dan Malloy, announced that he would be the first governor in the union to sign an executive order limiting state-sponsored travel to Indiana because of Indiana's ostensibly "discriminatory practices." He was so proud of this that he sent not one but two tweets patting himself on the back for his progressive stance on the subject, how he will not allow states to "turn back the clock" on all the progress we've made in the last two decades, and how he is standing up for truth, justice and the American way.

But Governor Dan Malloy has a teeny-tiny problem. Turns out, Connecticut has a RFRA, enacted in 1993, shortly after the Federal government passed theirs. And it's almost identical to the law that Indiana recently passed. It reads, in  part:

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