Sen. Claire McCaskill Wants Men to Shut The Hell Up About Everything

By on 11.11.15 | 3:23PM

Sen. Claire McCaskill tried, unsuccessfully, to film a spoof public service announcement for Stephen Colbert a few days ago, ostensibly as a way to address "mansplaining," while letting us in on McCaskill's quirky side. Unfortunately, Claire McCaskill doesn't actually appear to have a quirky side, and the resulting video is less "poignant and hilarious cultural criticism" and more "prickly and outdated feminist overture from the embattled Senator of a Midwestern state." 

But that's beside the point: the product was a foregone conclusion as soon as they selected its star. What you should know, men of the Spectator, is that you are no longer allowed to speak on a seemingly random variety of topics because Claire McCaskill says so. 

Obviously, men can't also have an opinion on this video, as it play directly into Claire McCaskill's argument. So I'll break it down for you. According to Claire, gentlemen, you are no longer able to opine on the following topics:

Culture Vultures

The College Frankenstein

By 11.11.15

Monday morning, the embattled University of Missouri President, Tim Wolfe, resigned after pressure from student groups over a series of “racial incidents” that apparently marred the campus experience to such a degree that no one can effectively name the incidents in question without consulting a timeline that seems to quantify them as “he said/he said” events, without any specific details.

Clinton Laughs Hysterically at Thought of Carly Fiorina Being Strangled

By on 11.10.15 | 2:48PM

What would you do if a man in the audience of your Democractic Presidential forum stood up and threatened violence against another female candidate, albeit an opponent? 

If you're Crusader for All Women Hillary Clinton, the answer is, apparently, laugh hysterically and crack a joke about wanting to "avoid" the questioner. Because violence against women Republicans is downright hiiiiilarious...right?

That's classy. That is most definitely classy.

Jeb Bush Would Totally Kill Baby Hitler

By on 11.10.15 | 11:41AM

In case you were wondering, if Jeb Bush were given the power of time travel and ended up seeing Adolf Hitler while the latter was still in infancy, Jeb Bush would not have a second thought about snuffing out the future dictator and mass murderer

“Hell yeah, I would!” the former Florida governor told HuffPost. “You gotta step up, man.”

The question initially arose when The New York Times Magazine polled its readers last month and found that a plurality of respondents said they would, in fact, kill Hitler as a baby.

Bush was then asked the question directly via the email address that he distributes widely to public audiences: Jeb@jeb.org. But he did not answer the inquiry until asked on camera by HuffPost, while riding on his campaign bus in New Hampshire.

Bush did acknowledge that murdering the future German dictator before he had the chance to ignite World War II would be an act that could set in motion unknown consequences.

Did Hillary Clinton Fudge Her Own ‘Military Background’?

By on 11.9.15 | 4:26PM

Hillary Clinton may be brewing her own "Ben Carson" scandal. 

Okay, so she's probably not going to attract that much attention. After all, while Dr. Carson doesn't seem to have glossed over or materially altered anything in his past, Hillary Clinton has been known to embellish her own biography a bit here and there. I mean, we all know the story of how she ran for cover, ducking sniper fire in Bosnia. Or how she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, even though he completed his frozen adventure six years after her birth. And she has yet to lay out her strategy in responding to reporters — and an international crisis — by saying a video inspired Libyans to attack and burn an American embassy and parade our dead ambassador through the streets. But at least we can go on record having covered her confusing relationship with military service.

Bernie Sanders, Marco Rubio Share Credit Card Debt — But Only One Faces Consequences

By on 11.9.15 | 4:04PM

The media was breathlessly covering Dr. Ben Carson last week, leaving Marco Rubio's time in the spotlight hanging. After all, before they'd caught wind of the slight difference between a "full scholarship" (which military academies do seem to offer, actually, contrary to my earlier statements and according to their websites), and Dr. Carson's own offer, they were poring over Marco Rubio's bank statements, scratching their coddled heads and wondering how anyone in America could possibly have five-figure credit card debt.

Rubio had a Republican Party of Florida American Express for approximately four years, January 2005 to December 2008. That amounted to 1,307 charges in that period, for a total of $182,072.55, in total. In the previously unreleased period of January 2005 to October 2006, Rubio spent $64,777.82 on 484 charges.

Ben Carson Raises $3.5M on Media Bias

By on 11.9.15 | 12:59PM

Ben Carson had the best weekend ever, basically.

Several days after the POLITICO story about his scholarship from West Point crumbled in POLITICO's hands, Buzzfeed was able to get their grubby mitts on a story substantiating Dr. Carson's tale of stabbing another kid, thus ending CNN's related reign of terror. And while the media quickly shifted its focus to more pressing matters, like wall-to-wall coverage of a handful of Christians finding fault with Starbucks's holiday coffee cups, Republicans opened their pocketbooks and rewarded Dr. Carson for being the victim of a bizarre smear.

To the tune of $3.5 million dollars. In a single weekend.

Ben Carson said Saturday he's hauled in $3.5 million in campaign cash this week thanks to a "biased media."

The retired neurosurgeon and Republican presidential candidate claimed 10,000 donations each day of the week in a tweet.

President Obama Officially Rejects Keystone XL Pipeline

By on 11.6.15 | 1:23PM

Grab up those shares in Chinese shipping companies, kids! The Canadian tar sands oil is officially headed overseas, as the President has officially rejected the Keystone XL pipeline proposal. 

President Obama announced Friday that he has rejected Canadian energy giant TransCanada's application to build the Keystone XL pipeline, saying that the pipeline was not in the U.S. national interest.

"The State Department has decided the Keystone XL pipeline would not serve the interests of the United States. I agree with that decision," Obama said at a White House press conference.

The announcement caps a 7-year saga that has become one of the biggest environmental flashpoints of Obama’s presidency. It comes just days after the State Department refused to agree to TransCanada’s request to suspend the review process on the controversial project, which has seen enormous opposition from environmental groups.

CNN Scours Ben Carson’s Past, Finds Holes UPDATE: Carson Says Politico Headline a ‘Fabrication’

By on 11.6.15 | 1:08PM

UPDATE: Carson's camp now says that POLITICO itself fabricated Dr. Carson's "admission," and that they misinterpreted the campaign's quote on the subject, leading to a massively inaccurate story. It seems like a mountain out of a molehill. Did he fudge and misremember a few things in a memoir? Maybe. But it really doesn't have much of an impact on his long-term success or qualifications to be President. I mean, it's not like admitted to doing cocaine in his autobiography or anything.

Frankly, this might be the best thing that could have happened to Dr. Carson. After a week of weird sound bites, the story surrounding him is an attack by the media, something conservative candidates should be able to capitalize on and thrive from. 

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DOD Paid Millions So Sports Teams Would “Support the Troops”

By on 11.5.15 | 12:53PM

I have, at least as far as I can tell, never been paid to be patriotic. 

I mean, it's not as though I've wanted to be paid to hang a flag outside of my house or to meet a returning group of veterans or to write in support of taking care of the soldiers we send off to war in perpetuity, it's just that I never realized it was a possibility - or, for that matter, something that required any red-blooded American be paid to do. But according to a Senate report released this week, major sports teams - some of whom have multi-million dollar bank accounts - were paid to host events supporting our troops and veterans. In fact, "Paid Patriotism" has been the rule, not the exception, since 2012, and the government has spent more than $6 million of taxpayer dollars on it. 

The Department of Defense has been slammed for wasting taxpayers' money after they gave $6.8million to some of the richest sports teams, just so they could honor troops.