Politics

Elizabeth Warren Finally Passes Her Peace Pipe…To Bernie Sanders?

By on 7.1.15 | 1:40PM

Hillary Clinton has been aggressively courting America's most prominent Native American Senator, Elizabeth Warren (D-$8.5M Net Worth) for months now, hoping against hope that the self-appointed champion of the people would join her campaign rather than work against it. The sell was tough: Warren would have to abandon her progressive principles more than she already does on a daily basis, in order to openly rubberstamp a campaign that has a designated donation pipeline flowing straight from Wall Street C-suites. 

While Warren has been playing along for a while, ultimately, she may be forced to abandon the promise of, say, one day heading up the SEC, where she could live out her American dream burning bankers at the stake one by one, and back her main man, fellow progressive Bernie Sanders. At least, unofficially.

Hillary Clinton is Everyone’s Emailing Grandmother, Basically

By on 7.1.15 | 12:19PM

Nothing says "I'm prepared to be your next President" like a six email back-and-forth over how to use a fax machine.

Because God is good and He loves us, especially His political bloggers, the State Department began the process of publicizing many of Hillary Clinton's "private emails." The first batch hit the web last night and while there are some revealing items — the Obama Administration was clearly aware, for example, that Hillary was using a private email server, and some administration officials who claimed to know nothing about Hillary's technological reroute were caught red-handed emailing her at a very suspicious address, and she spent a lot more time chatting up Sidney Blumenthal than anyone cared to admit —  the best part of the Hillary email cache is easily — easily — her sad, confusing relationship with her cast of supporting characters.

NYT Passes on Muhammed Cartoons, But Prints Condom Pope

By on 6.30.15 | 5:11PM

Honestly, at this point, the only people who fail to see the disconnect between demurring on an image that offends one religion but accepting an image that offends another work for the New York Times. And while all of them have, at one time or another, answered a question about their double standards with some iteration of "the two scenarios are simply different," the reality is that the NYT knows full well that Catholics, and members of other religions whose methods of conversion have developed beyond the 14th century, are unlikely to show up at their offices with an automatic weapon. They just don't feel comfortable acknowledging it because it might cost them their heads and a swath of readers who still think CAIR is an active contributor to the cause of American civil rights.

Puerto Rico is $70B in the Hole and Looking for a Bailout

By on 6.30.15 | 4:34PM

You cannot sustain an entire state's economy on ziplines and piña coladas. Greece is, of course, learning that on something of a national scale. When you pay everyone for everything they do regardless of whether they do it or not, and rely on the occasional tourist with a Groupon Getaway to create most of your GDP, things go south really quickly, especially when your unfunded pension liabilities come due.

UMKC Can’t Afford Hillary, Forced to Settle for Cut-Rate Clinton

By on 6.30.15 | 11:57AM

Even though Marco Rubio is clearly the one-percenter in this race, Hillary Clinton, when she was still toiling in the private sector, wasn't doing so badly. Commanding upwards of $200,000 per speech, the former Senator and Secretary of State was flying across the globe, often in first class on the dime of whomever booked her, delivering exceptional, motivating speeches to gatherings of donors, professionals and other assorted hoi polloi. 

But when the University of Missouri Kansas City tried to book Hillary for the unveiling of their "Womens Hall of Fame," the $275,000 price tag for a couple of hours of the Secretary's time was just far too much. So, according to emails obtained by the Washington Post, the UMKC settled for the Clinton Foundation's budget package: a speech from Chelsea Clinton, who commanded "only" $65,000. 

The Washington Post Thinks Marco Rubio is Super Rich

By on 6.30.15 | 11:27AM

The good news is, the media has finally realized that harping on Marco Rubio's college loans and modest boat purchases is a losing strategy. 

The bad news is, in response, they've just started harping on Marco Rubio's amazing, limitless wealth and how one man, the son of immigrants from Cuba, became a self-made hundred-thousand-aire by trading in his modest job as a small time lawyer for the spectacular wealth creation attendant to a life of political service. In other words, the Washington Post is 100% convinced that Marco Rubio is filthy, stinking rich and there's very little you can do about it.

Marco Rubio was 28 when he was elected to the Florida legislature. He was about to become a father and was struggling to balance the financial demands of a growing family with his political aspirations.

Christie Still Isn’t Ready to be President

By on 6.30.15 | 10:52AM

Four years ago, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie resisted calls by Republicans to make a bid for the White House in 2012. During a speech before AEI in February 2011, Christie stated:

You have to believe in your heart and your soul that you’re ready to be president. And I don’t believe that about myself right now.

Christie would reiterate this position in an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper back in April. “So I get lots of people who come to us and say, oh, you should have done it four years ago,” said Christie, “And I tell you one thing I know for sure I wasn’t ready to be president four years ago. And so the worst thing wasn’t not running; it was if I had run and won already.”

Constitutional Opinions

The Dred Scotting of Religious Liberty

By 6.30.15

Call it the Dred Scotting of religious liberty.

Writing gay marriage into the Constitution as once there was a Supreme Court decision that attempted to write slavery into the Constitution. Make no mistake. Whatever else the five lawyers in black robes thought they were doing with their ruling on gay marriage, they have opened the door — many think the door was already open — for a full-blown assault on religious liberty. 

Who better to look to for a response to the Obergefell v. Hodges decision than the man who earned his marble statue on the Washington Mall by opposing the idea that the Dred Scott decision should be regarded as “settled law”?

Substitute the Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage — which many Americans see as yet another assault on religious liberty — with the hotly controversial issue of the Court’s 1857 Dred Scott decision on slavery. Or the Court’s 1819 decision in McCulloch v. Maryland. The latter decision declared the Bank of the United States to be constitutional, the former was a deliberate attempt by Democrats on the bench to make slavery constitutional.

Bobby Jindal Is ‘Tanned, Rested and Ready’

By on 6.29.15 | 5:15PM

At first glance, it seems like Bobby Jindal is taking a page out of Richard Nixon's playbook.

But stare at his official campaign t-shirt design for a few minutes and you'll start to see a very different side of Bobby than his speeches, given in short-sleeved shirts, with an almost bookish demeanor, might demonstrate:

I kind of like it. Jindal doesn't differentiate himself from the pack very well, and a joke like this...it makes a big difference both in demonstrating the personality he's been hiding from the public all these years, and brings to the forefront part of what makes him different from his fellow candidates: his ethnic background.

John Kasich Is Running for President, Too

By on 6.29.15 | 1:11PM

At this point, if you've ever wanted to be President at any point in your life, up to (and including) that time in Kindergarten where you were asked to draw your future career and your teacher forced you to choose President because, it turns out, being a fire truck wasn't a real option, now is the time to declare your intention and file your official paperwork. The clown car still has some room for anyone willing to squeeze into the middle seat (Donald Trump isn't worried about you crushing his hair, anyway, since he says he'll debut a brand new 'do for his inevitable inauguration).

John Kasich, not content to restrict his moderate conservatism and spiceless personality to the boundaries of the state of Ohio, is the latest in a series of unliklies to take the plunge, despite no evidence that anyone knows who he is or cares that he's interested in being the Commander in Chief.

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