I'm choosing to ignore the shapeless bag of doughnut grease who surfaced out of 2003 to troll Twitter over the weekend, but there's at least one has-been celebrity who washed up on shore over the weekend whose existence I'll acknowledge: Jane Fonda, who despite having done next to nothing since starring in a romantic comedy with Jennifer Lopez almost a decade ago, still gives speeches on the regular to crowds of people looking to relive the 1960s.
This weekend, her speech in Maryland drew ire from Vietnam veterans who haven't forgotten (rightly) that "Hanoi" Jane Fonda handed a propaganda masterpiece to the North Vietnamese when she decided it was appropriate to visit a Communist military base and dry-hump a cannon. Clearly confused as to why, nearly fifty years later, people who actually fought in that conflict still take it personally, Jane Fonda tried to alleviate the hurt feelings by acknowedging that she, too, is sad.
About 50 military veterans and their supporters protested an appearance by Jane Fonda in western Maryland.
The 77-year-old was at the Weinberg Center for the Arts in Frederick for a speaking engagement Friday.
Who says Republicans aren't actively attracting the attention of popular culture?
Well, me. But at least Justin Bieber is interested, for better or worse. Unconcerned that State Social House's private dining area, the Attic, had already been reserved by the Los Angeles chapter of the Log Cabin Republicans for their annual meeting, Justin Bieber waltzed in and chatted away with a small group of friends while the group discussed gay rights and listened to a talk by Ronald Reagan's personal assistant Peggy Grande.
He prides himself on being something of a hunk - if his latest Calvin Klein shoot is anything to go by.
So Justin Bieber probably won't take too kindly to being mistaken for a girl when he dined out at one of his favourite restaurants this week.
Just in case you were wondering, in addition to Jimmy Carter's bewildering comments about France and Israel, he's also expressed some vocal opposition to Mike Huckabee's theory that Beyonce is tearing at the delicate social fabric that joins our proud nation together. According to Jimmy Carter, whose opinions are still surprisingly interesting to the news media despite his disasterous track record on basically everything except running a non-profit (and that includes peanut farming), the Obamas are not terrible parents because they support their daughters' choices in music.
Former President Jimmy Carter defended Barack Obama's parenting skills Wednesday, after former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee expressed dismay that the President would let his teenage daughters listen to singer Beyoncé.
"I think the President is doing a good job," Carter said when TMZ caught up with him to ask about Huckabee's comments.
It has come around again, fair readers: that endless season of celebrity self-congratulation known as "Awards Season," wherein the more plebian of us take to our couches with cold gin and sharp criticism to view a seemingly endless parade of beautiful people who were lucky enough to possess so few life skills they ended up in entertainment.
I don't want to demean the seriousness of today's other news and the discussion we're having about it, but maybe we could all use a little cuteness break today. Everything that's happened is very scary. I'm grateful that there are men and women who fight day in and day out on the front lines to protect me. I'm grateful I have commenters to remind me of that. And I'm grateful that the National Zoo has an adorable panda that likes to play in the snow.
So let's all drop everything and enjoy Bao Bao's first snow day. Because it's fantastic.
You may now resume your regularly scheduled news cycle.
While we wait for the results in the Great House Republican Insurgency of 2015 (John Boehner looks to have dialed up the orange in his spray tan just for this occasion), how about a little unabashed schadenfreude?
The faculty of Harvard University, who contributed greatly to the ideas theoretically embodied in the Affordable Care Act, have a Harvard-sponsored healthcare plan, so they were spared the effects of having to choose from the Obamacare marketplace. But that Harvard-sponosred healthcare plan could only be shielded from the nationwide trend of rising healthcare costs for so long. And now, the end is near. And they face the final curtain. And despite an ineffective faculty vote aimed at resisting the dastardly corporate influences now clearly infiltrating their beloved institution, Harvard professors will have to pay more for their plans.
Over the New Year's holiday, PETA, which is not typically known for having all of its marbles together in a single place to begin with, lost whatever remains of its collection over a photo of Sarah Palin's son Trig balancing on a rather large dog in order to reach something at counter level in her kitchen. Depsite the fact that the dog was clearly used to it, that the child couldn't not weigh even half of what the dog weighs and that Ellen DeGeneres, PETA's celebrity of the year, posted an almost-identical photo months earlier, PETA insisted that Palin was committing animal abuse.
Actually, I had a pretty nice New Years. I availed myself of a five-course tasting menu at a really fantastic restaurant, some decent cocktails and Midnight Mass.
But, of course, I didn't do it in Hawaii.
The President, who is wrapping up his 17-day vacation on Oahu, spent New Years with the family, getting shave ice at a neighborhood place with his daughters and snorkeling with the family at Hanauma Bay, a huge inland reef and wildlife sanctuary that is great for beginners, but is usually closed to the public over the holidays. Barack and Michelle then ditched the kids and went for a fifteen-course tasting menu of their own at Hawaii's Vintage Cave, a French-American fine-dining restaurant, "private society" and wine cellar located in a giant shopping mall just down the road from Waikiki beach. The
Before I even begin, allow me to apologize. In this article, I am going to have to discuss Lena Dunham's sex life. I realize that the mere mention of Lena Dunham having relations with anyone or anything is enough to scar you, but I want to point out that you read the Spectacle at your own risk and we will not pay for your therapy.
Anyway, in her book Not That Kind of Girl, Lena Dunham discussed, in surprisingly graphic detail, a sexual assault that she suffered at the hands of the only Oberlin campus Republican that has ever existed. Only, further examination by Breitbart news and others seemed to indicate that, while there was a campus Republican at Oberlin at the the same time Dunham attended, that campus Republican absolutely did not rape her. And the campus Republican was, quite understandably, rather distressed that the suggestion would even be made, and not just because Dunham implied that he'd willingly seen her naked, but because accusing someone of rape is, legally speaking, defamation.