How Ben Stein Came to Deliver a Lecture in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

By on 6.5.15 | 1:20PM

Today is both #FlashbackFriday and, according to Chicago's WGN network, the 30th anniversary of Ferris Bueller's quintessential "day off." Apparently, they figured this out not by determining the date of the Von Steuben day parade (that's actually in September), but by the date of the Chicago Cubs game Ferris and company attend as part of their Chicago adventure. 

To celebrate at the Spectator, you can do a little #FlashbackFriday of your own. A few months ago, our very own Ben Stein, who delivers an iconic attendance roll (and lecture on the Laffer Curve to a classroom of sleepy kids), detailed in an essay how he came to be Bueller's least-favorite teacher.

In November of 1985, Michael Chinich said John Hughes wanted me to do a voice over for a new movie called “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Hughes had written the whole movie in one weekend. He was an unbelievable genius.

California Adult Film Stars May Be Required to Wear Goggles

By on 6.1.15 | 5:02PM

If California's Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has anything to say about it, actors and actresses in California's adult film industry will have to have an extra layer of protection the next time they...ahem...get to work. 

The bill, prompted by concerns over HIV and AIDS transmission in the adult fim industry, hasn't made it very far in the legislature, but it covers (pun intended) a variety of safety precautions that adult film stars may now have to take to keep their bodily fluids mostly to themselves. The bill calls for compuslory condom use as well as employer-provided protective equipment including gloves for cleaning and, yes, protective eyewear so that when things get hot and heavy, everyone's vision is adequately defended. 

White House Advisor Dan Pfeiffer Heads to CNN

By on 6.1.15 | 2:40PM

Senior White House Advisor Dan Pfeiffer is leaving this month and it's probably no surprise to anyone that, instead of taking a cushy job in the private sector, lobbying for his pet causes and writing op-ed after op-ed touting his "White House experience" as evidence of his trustworthiness, he's chosen to follow a path most trod by alumni of the Obama Administration: the media. Starting this week, Dan Pfeiffer will join CNN as a "contributor."

There’s a Hillary Clinton Comic Book On the Way

By on 5.28.15 | 12:30PM

I have always been a huge comic book fan. I am told, of course, that my female anatomy makes me a rare bird in that field since, according to modern Internet feminists, comic books are the very nexus and genesis of modern misogyny, because they promote the sexualization of women, glorify violence against women, have storylines that don't always involve women, and are, generally, enjoyed by people who are not "Social Justice Warriors" with an extensive Tumblr history of memes that take aim at fat-shaming and love letters to Lena Dunham.

The USDA Pushes Back on #ThanksMichelleObama School Lunch Protest

By on 5.19.15 | 2:01PM

The USDA is fed up (pun intended), and now they're fighting back - against the disgusting photos of federally-controlled school lunches that all you kids keep posting to social media. 

Now that the school year is coming to a close across this great nation, students will no longer be able to catch snaps of their horsemeat on a soggy bun, their watery sauces and their meager portions, all meals issued pursuant to Michelle Obama's healthy eating standards, foisted on public schools and their unconsenting populations. Those photos, tagged with the creative hashtag, #ThanksMichelleObama, in reference to her contributions to the anti-obesity campaign (centered, it seems, on making school food so disgusting that kids would rather skip meals than eat them), have made the USDA's crusade against unhealthy food all the more difficult.

But while they're mounting a defense, it seems to be about as hearty as the meals they're forcing schools to serve.

President Obama Has a Twitter Now

By on 5.18.15 | 2:14PM


Yes, you're not imagining that there was a "Barack Obama" on Twitter before today. That account is run by the scattered remnants of Organizing for America, and not by the President himself.

But now that he's entering his later years and giving up on having anything remotely resembling a policy agenda, the President has been gifted with his very own Twitter handle, @POTUS, and juding by his use of exclamation points, he's pretty excited.

I can't wait.

Lindsay Lohan Studying Up on Islam

By on 5.14.15 | 1:18PM

Honestly, I can't tell whether this is real - as in "too good to check whether it's actually happening" - or this is some sort of terrifying ruse cooked up by our government to threaten the radical Islamic forces that have started to, allegedly, mass within our borders, but Lindsay Lohan is reportedly converting to Islam.

Troubled Hollywood model, singer and actress Lindsay Lohan was spotted carrying the Holy Quran as she stepped out of a children’s center in Brooklyn, NY.

LindsAy was photographed holding the Quran after completing her first day of community service at the children’s center.

The American actress of Irish and Italian descent was raised as a Catholic. According to reports, the 28-year-old has embarked on an “emotional detox” by giving up alcohol and dating.

Earlier this year, she uploaded an Instagram image of a quote from the Quran but soon after deleted it.

Classical Mythology Now Too Much for Sensitive College Students

By on 5.13.15 | 1:08PM

The good news for my generation is that we finally make up a controlling portion of the working population. The bad news is, that there probably aren't enough blankies and nap rooms to accomodate all of us as we graduate into the real world. At least, as some of us graduate into the real world. Others of us have too many things to do to take time out of our day to cuddle stuffed animals and gripe to each other about the cultural appropriation and microagressions typically associated with the Patriarchy.

Thankfully, college students have no such demands on their time, which is why a cadre of Columbia University students are able to, collectively, pen an op-ed calling on their institution of higher learning to take a second look at the foundational works of Western literature and the building blocks of modern thought in order to preserve their adorable, innocent and easily-triggered minds from the mere threat that they might have to welcome in an opposing viewpoint or critically consider historical cultures in addition to their own coddled experience.

Hollywood Celebrities Aren’t Abiding by CA Drought Rules

By on 5.12.15 | 1:33PM

The California drought, that exceptional byproduct of an exciting, unnatural approach to preserving the lives of millions of tiny, endangered fish for no discernable purpose except to prevent their own extinction, has taken its toll on the "little people" of California. Forced to give up all consumption of water, to the point where it has been routinely suggested that they refrain from regular bathing, California citizenry are suffering through one of their worst water restrictions in history.

Well, some California citizenry are suffering through one of their worst water restrictions in history. 

“Let them drink dust!”

Feminists Give Lifetime Achievement Award to Puppet

By on 5.5.15 | 1:44PM

Every year, the Sackler Center for Feminist Art at the Brooklyn Museum awards one lucky woman with an impressive body of work with the Sackler Center Award, typically for their contributions to the advancement of womankind, or, alternatively, their exceptional ability to whine loudly abuot how their lack of significant human contribution is the result of their diminuitive gender. Past honorees include Anita Hill, Sandra Day O'Conner and a list of prominent female voices who have made it exponentially harder to be taken seriously in male-dominated fields.

This year, however, the Sackler Center is changing their focus, and will award their Lifetime Achievement Medal to someone who represents a new era in feminist leadership, whose work has spanned decades, inspiring women of all agens with her lessons on getting what you want, when you want it, especially if what you want is covered in feathers, and when you want it is in direct response to your shrill, unending cries for satisfaction. She is also a puppet.