Culture

North Korea Has Found Source of Hacks, Will Blow Up White House Now

By on 12.22.14 | 1:06PM

We all know that our government is taking the hacks on Sony Entertainment very seriously. We know this because President Obama held a Very Serious Press Conference on Friday, where he only called on Very Serious Reporters, who asked Very Serious Questions about his Very Serious Response to a corporate hacking.

According to President Obama, Sony tried to go it alone, found they were incapable of handling such an attack on their technology and now he'll be stepping in to handle their problems. Sony, on the other hand, quickly noted that they had asked the White House for help with the hack some time ago, and despite their regular contributions to Barack Obama's campaign coffers, no one picked up the phone in the Oval Office. But they're happy to have the help now, they guess. 

Al Sharpton Worried You’ve Forgotten About Him Since Yesterday

By on 12.22.14 | 12:38PM

The events of this weekend are horrifying. Two NYPD officers are dead in an unprovoked attack that seems to have been cheered by at least a segment of the public. A child has been left fatherless, sentiments on both sides of a heated debate have been ignited, and a city is in mourning. 

But before you go discussing the relative impact of philosophies and agendas on the state of race relations in America, or consider how inflammatory remarks from community leaders may have ultimately worsened the situation, please remember that there is only one real victim here, and that is Al Sharpton, who held a press conference yesterday lest his "leadership" get dropped from the news cycle.

[T]he Rev. Al Sharpton, who has called for peaceful protests, condemned “eye-for-an-eye” violence and called it absurd to blame protesters or politicians for the officers’ deaths.

Bill Clinton Creeps On NY Dem’s Daughter

By on 12.18.14 | 12:49PM

This is yesterday's viral photo, but we were all so obsessed with covering unimportant things like the Administration lifting the Cuba embargo and North Korea strong-arming Hollywood into pulling a movie that was probably going to tank anyway that we had to pass on covering a creepy photo of Bill Clinton hugging the daughter of a New York Democratic mega-donor. 

Fear not, though. 

The woman being only minimally restrained by both former President Clinton and what appears to be a Herve Leger bodycon dress, is Andrea Catsimatidis, daughter of John Catsimatidis, a "billionaire grocer" who donated $750,000 to Hillary's 2008 Presidential bid, and who may be best known for his part in a scheme to allegedly purchase the New York Senate for the Democratic Party, along with current NYC mayor Bill de Blasio.

Kim Jong Un “Interview” Death Scene Leaks Online

By on 12.18.14 | 11:25AM

Yesterday was a great day to be a tinpot dictator. 

We've already discussed the US softening of relations with Cuba, and last night, Sony Pictures, terrified of North Korea's psychotic overlord and his Atari missile launcher, pulled The Interview from theaters, after it became apparent that North Korea was behind the massive Sony email leak. Now, granted, had something actually happened, we'd have been all over Sony for failing to take decisive action, and blaming them for whatever life, limb and property was lost in the ensuing revenge. But at least right now, it's pretty clear that when it comes to a strong foreign policy towards men in fancy pajamas with rockets pointed at their Malibu beach hosues, Hollywood is more in favor than we thought they'd be.

Rick Santorum Would Like to Talk Frankly About Procreation

By on 12.17.14 | 1:19PM

I'm not sharing this because I feel like it adds anything to the debate over who should be our 2016 Presidential nominee. Frankly, I think the more candidates we have with varying degrees of insanity on varying subjects, the better. It's high time that the Republican party extoll the virtues of diversity of opinion within its ranks, and while some of the crazier folk might be apt to tarnish the party's public image in unexpected ways, at this point, they're only living up to double-standards that have already been set for them. And, if all else fails, with so many potential nominees seemingly grasping at the straws of sanity in one room, there's always a chance that a professional debate could dissolve into a wrestling match. 

I'm sharing this because I had to read it and I do not want to be alone in my misery. Ladies and gentlemen: Deep Thoughts With Rick Santorum.

I’ve spoken on a lot of college campuses and a lot of high schools, and [I've got] seven kids, so obviously sex isn’t a real problem for me.

No.

Michelle Obama Once Got Asked for Help at Target, Thinks It Was Probably Racist

By on 12.17.14 | 1:09PM

Look. I honestly believe that yes, there are lingering vestiges of racism in our society. You don't exorcise something that pervasive in modern culture in less than a century. Occasionally - not regularly, but occasionally - we've all been known to make varying assumptions about other people based on existing stereotypes.

I have no doubt that, in their lifetimes, the Obamas have experienced lots of instances of discrimination based on skin color, and I think that's a tragedy. However, I do not think being asked to reach something on a high shelf at a big box retail store is one of those instances.

"I tell this story – I mean, even as the first lady – during that wonderfully publicized trip I took to Target, not highly disguised, the only person who came up to me in the store was a woman who asked me to help her take something off a shelf. Because she didn't see me as the first lady, she saw me as someone who could help her. Those kinds of things happen in life. So it isn't anything new," Michelle Obama, who is 5'11", said. 

Fed District Court Declares Obama’s Executive Amnesty Unconstitutional

By on 12.16.14 | 3:43PM

It's only the first court of many that will review the order, so it's nothing to get horribly excited about, but one Federal district court in Pennsylvania has declared that some aspects of President Obama's executive action on immigration go beyond mere "prosecutorial discretion" and are therefore unconstitutional.

Earlier Tuesday, a federal court in Pennsylvania declared aspects of President Obama’s executive actions on immigration policy unconstitutional.

According to the opinion by Judge Arthur Schwab, the president’s policy goes “beyond prosecutorial discretion” in that it provides a relatively rigid framework for considering applications for deferred action, thus obviating any meaningful case-by-case determination as prosecutorial discretion requires, and provides substantive rights to applicable individuals.  As a consequence,  Schwab concluded, the action exceeds the scope of executive authority.

US Government Wants to Keep You Out Of Comfortable Boxers

By on 12.11.14 | 2:20PM

As I am a woman, I cannot effectively comment on the pros and cons of various forms of men's underwear and their comparative comfort levels. I understand that each type has its merits, and that men are frequently disposed to discussing them in great detail at cocktail parties, but given that women are frequently enticed to purchase underwear that consists of little more than a triangle of cheap fabric held in place by unreliable strings, I do not feel much sympathy in regard to this particular male conundrum.

Sony Hack Reveals Sony Executives are Kind of Racist UPDATE: Apologies Issued

By on 12.11.14 | 1:50PM

Sony Pictures Entertainment was the victim of a very serious hack last week, possibly originating from North Korea (though North Korea denies it and the technological prowess necessary to bypass the kind of protections on Sony's archives would imply hackers whose nations have evolved beyond the Bronze Age). The attack exposed a number of Sony's upcoming pictures, Sony employees' personal details, thousands of emails between Sony employees and executives, and a teensy bit of abject racism on the part of Sony Entertainment bigwigs.

Columbia Law School Lets Students Take Exams Late Because of Ferguson

By on 12.8.14 | 5:39PM

My first year of law school, it snowed so much on the morning of my Contracts exam, that I had to have my dad drive me to school and wait for hours in the library while I finished my test because the school refused to cancel or move the test even though basically everyone was snowed into their respective apartments. And there was no reason they should have moved the test. Aside from general concerns about safety and welfare, that are almost always secondary to a legal education, causing mental anguish seems to be the goal of most first year legal programs, and no one gives actual lawyers the day off of work because they didn't have the requisite foresight to buy Hunter boots on clearance sale. At least, so I've heard. I got all that education and barely practiced.

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