Culture

Pope Obamus?

By on 3.26.14 | 1:52PM

No, not quite. But the New York Times might as well have referred to President Obama with that title in a story by Jason Horowitz this past Sunday that tried to portray the president as being part of the Catholic experience in America.

According to Horowitz (of Romney-was-a-prep-school-bully fame), President Obama began his professional career working in numerous Catholic parishes throughout Chicago's South Side. He worked intimately with priests, bishops, and other Catholic leaders to serve the poor and needy. And despite not letting Catholic doctrine "tempt him," he nonetheless "effectively proselytized for the church."

Moreover, the young Obama

Send to Kindle

Buzzfeed to Readers: Start Fantasizing About Sex with Animals

By on 3.26.14 | 1:34PM

File this one in the growing pile of evidence that our culture is a sewer. Widely read blog BuzzFeed.com posted an interactive piece yesterday entitled "What's Your Sex Number?: The ultimate 'purity test' for the modern age." The author of the piece, one Summer Anne Burton, was kind enough to warn readers that the piece is NSFW. I share that same warning regarding the following.

The piece is a checklist in which readers can input whether or not they have participated in various sex acts. They are then scored based upon the answers. The list starts out innocent enough. Have you ever hugged someone? What about kissed? But by the end, readers are asked such questions as whether or not they have had sex while high on various substances, been urinated or defecated upon during sex, fantasized about sex with a relative, or--and this is the showstopper--fantasized about sex with an animal.

Send to Kindle

Britain Incinerates Babies for Fuel

By on 3.26.14 | 11:10AM

Recall Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal, where Swift satirically suggests wealthy Englishmen eat poor Irish babies as a delicacy to solve the problem of a rampant poverty-stricken population. Of course, he never meant a word of it. He meant to shock.

Melanie McDonagh said it best when she commented that “Swift couldn’t have made it up” in regards to the following story:

The remains of at least 15,500 aborted and miscarried babies were incinerated as clinical waste and even used to heat some hospitals in the United Kingdom, an investigation has revealed.

The Department of Health on Sunday issued an instant ban after 10 National Health Service trusts admitted to burning fetal remains alongside garbage and two others used the remains in “waste-to-energy” programs, the U.K. Telegraph reported.

In fact, I wonder if Swift could have even imagined this abhorrent practice.

Send to Kindle

The Beer Spectator: Sierra Nevada’s Harvest Series Is A Celebration of California

By on 3.21.14 | 1:49PM

California has its issues. A high state income tax, massive budget deficits, unfunded pension liabilities—we could go on and on.  

But today we celebrate the Golden State, and specifically the Harvest Single Hop IPA from Sierra Nevada Brewing Company in Chico, Calif. The Harvest series showcases five different beers of alternate hopping methods. This is the first. 

The beer reminded me of Christmas Eve, when my mother prepares a grand feast for our extended family. San Francisco, where I grew up, has only one true climate attribute: fog. It doesn’t snow, nor does it rain very often. 

During wintertime, the temperature drops to 40 degrees at the coldest. Obviously we’re spoiled. For this dinner, we purchase Dungeness crab. These large, orange shellfish are not as sweet as lobster, and they require a bit more work to grab the meat.

Send to Kindle

What's Still Great

Sorrow’s Native Sons

By 3.21.14

What everybody forgets about the Smiths is how much fun they were. 

 And not just fun: The band careened through the '80s putting out four studio albums which were joyful, sexy, funny, self-deprecating, silly, and even sometimes compulsively danceable. The myth of Morrissey and his mopey muse has some truth to it—and he made the jokes first, in song titles like “Miserable Lie,” “Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now,” “Pretty Girls Make Graves” and the rest—but the band mocked by the Pet Shop Boys for their “Miserablism” spent most of their time whistling past the cemet'ry gates.

Send to Kindle

Breaking: Airplane Mystery Solved!

By on 3.21.14 | 1:57AM

You read it here first, folks. The airplane puzzle has been solved. No, not the fate of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370, or the "zombie plane," as CNN has speculatively dubbed it. Not even the timeless stumper as to whether Joey has ever seen a grown man naked. I'm talking about a mysterious small aircraft that has been incessantly circling a neighborhood in Sacramento for the past few weeks. News 10, Sacramento's ABC affiliate, has the scoop. Through some intrepid sleuthing, a college student--who chose, perhaps wisely, to remain anonymous--found out that the planes use the FBI's callsign, "Jenna."

Send to Kindle

The Fate of the Westboro Baptist Church

By on 3.20.14 | 5:52PM

By now you have likely heard the loud sigh of relief from just about every American other than those of the Westboro Baptist congregation in Kansas. Their founder and pastor Fred Phelps passed away on Wednesday, according to his church and family.

Phelps founded the infamous church in 1955 and pastored there until he died at 84 of a mysterious illness, leaving a legacy of abominable hatred behind him.

His own son, Nathan Phelps, abandoned his father’s heretical congregation thirty years ago and wrote of him: “Destroyed by the monster he made.”

Send to Kindle

Crushing Rocks

By on 3.20.14 | 3:23PM

Ryan Anderson is a dangerous man. 

So says the student body and administration of Stanford University, one of America’s “premiere” institutions of “higher education.” Anderson is one of a few intellectuals brave enough to make the case that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Though nationalized same-sex marriage by judicial fiat will likely come upon us in a very short time, nevertheless the best and brightest of the Millennial generation at Stanford cannot tolerate Anderson’s willingness to stand on the “wrong side of history.” After all, his clarity, logic, humility, poise, and courage might reveal the hollowness of what is arguably the most successful social movement in American history.

Send to Kindle

Another Perspective

The Ignorance of Neo-Prohibitionists

By 3.20.14

A brief but intense spiritual crisis beset the nation late last month after it was revealed that bottomless brunches were illegal in New York. Many New Yorkers were outraged and took to social media to say so, often in melodramatic fashion. The dismay dissipated a few days later, however, after the New York State Liquor Authority (SLA) clarified the law in question.

That law—N.Y. 117-A—makes it a crime to “offer, sell, serve, or deliver to any person or persons an unlimited number of drinks during any set period of time for a fixed price.” This makes it sound as if unlimited drink offerings are prohibited, particularly since the statute says: “UNLIMITED DRINK OFFERINGS PROHIBITED.” However, it turns out there is an exception in the case of “certain” brunch specials, which are legal “when the service of alcohol is incidental to the event.” In other words, bottomless brunches are okay.

Send to Kindle

Eminentoes

Deport Bieber

By 3.20.14

As mid-year elections approach, it’s unlikely that Congress will undertake any major effort to change the status quo as it pertains to immigration. The mere suggestion of a change to policy in the areas of border security, interdiction and enforcement, guest worker programs, visa requirements, deportation, and approval sends scads of well-meaning older adults to their phones and fax machines, intent on papering their legislative offices with as much outrage as they can muster between rounds of Wheel of Fortune.

But perhaps there’s a leap forward in immigration policy we can all support, left and right, young and old, those concerned with the future of rock and roll and those still concerned that Elvis once appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show with his hips in full swing. There’s a solution that could save our children, save our country, save our ear drums, and save our municipal law enforcement from drunken Ferrari drag racing for months.

America, it’s high time we deport Justin Bieber.

Send to Kindle

Pages