The Spectacle Blog

Hillary’s Great Night

By on 7.24.07 | 10:31AM

Only she and Joe Biden sounded comfortable speaking authoritatively without sounding like kookazoids. Although Gravel had the best moment lecturing the American people in fifteen words or less on the costs of consumerism. Worst moments too numerous to count, with Anderson Cooper repeating with mindboggling sangfroid the phrase "a YouTube-type video" when introducing what I can only imagine (having maliciously listened to the thing on radio) as having been deliberately amateurish candidate commercials lashed together by flunkies from each campaign.

But God, did those Tube-in questions sound awful. Was that a muppet, dear reader, singing its way through a question Head Muppet Anderson had to caption as "funny, but a serious subject?" Is there any mode of address these candidates will not subject themselves to to try to appear relevant? Just yesterday morning I listened along with several Esteemed Colleagues here to Newt Gingrich laughing openly and on the record at the prospect of joining the debates. Pygmies, he said! (Not a paraphrase.) They get just over seven minutes. I get six hours and thousands of people paying attention to things too complicated, because this is real life, to relay in twenty-second kibbles. (A paraphrase.) In the long awkward wake of last night's debate Newt seemed even more cleverly accurate in his criticism than usual.

What planet people are on who think Obama is smooth, polished, and presidential in these debates is now clearly outside the known solar system. Obama -- especially on radio, with all those damned red white and blue sight effects out of the picture -- is halting, qualified, monotone, unable to say no to anything but Iraq, which he said no to so long ago he risks nothing. "Coffee with Castro? Hell yes," and so forth. He simply must get over this problem or Hillary will whip him into the pliant vice-presidential position that it will be her personal joy to provide. For America. And Working Families. And the Children.

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