The Spectacle Blog

What Does A Satanic Monument Look Like?

By on 12.9.13 | 2:57PM

I read at Breitbart that the Satan-worshipping group Satanic Temple wants its very own statue outside the Oklahoma Statehouse in Oklahoma City alongside a Ten Commandments monument.

USA Today reports that the Republican legislature invited such insidious activity by authorizing the privately funded Ten Commandments statue on the Capitol grounds. If they were to decline the commission of a Satanic icon, it could constitute an unconstitutional infringement on the First Amendment. 

The ACLU has already filed a lawsuit for the removal of the monument.

As Lucien Greaves, the spokesman for Satanic Temple, said to USA Today, the Satanic icon would be a “homage to the historic/literary Satan” that could either be a pentagram or another appropriate symbol.

This all got me thinking: What would be an appropriate Satanic marker for the Oklahoma Statehouse? Here are a few ideas:

-Four large granite letters spelling “HATE”

-“Institutionalize Evil” on a pentagram

-A Golden Calf with the words “Golden Calves Work for Me!”

-The Seven Deadly Sins on a tablet identical to the Ten Commandments

-A statue of Elizabeth Hurley in her red dress from Bedazzled

-A giant 10-foot-long steel serpent

-Pay Dennis Rodman $20,000 a year to stand and preach on the benefits of North Korea’s enlightened state

-Place Lenin’s transparent tomb on the Capitol lawn

-Contract the business that made the Ten Commandments monument to make an identical copy, smash it with a sledge hammer, then mount it

Readers and commenters, what are your suggestions? I may even post the most amusing contributions.  

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