The Spectacle Blog

The Morning Spectacle: Tuesday’s Child

By on 8.25.15 | 4:00AM

Today is National Whiskey Sour Day, in case you needed reminding.

In Our Sights:

The White House would like to remind you that picking Joe Biden as VP over Hillary Clinton was an excellent political decision. Because now they're free to endorse Joe Biden for President over Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton maintains that her private email server was both entirely aboveboard and totally safe. Unfortunately, it was also a mystery to the Department of Homeland Security, which now claims the State Department never warned them that Clinton was sending classified love letters through an unsecured server in her basement.

Walker Calls on Obama to Cancel State Dinner with Chinese Dictator Xi Jinping

By on 8.24.15 | 9:02PM

In the wake of today's global stock market crash which owes a great deal to Chinese currency devaluation as well their aggressive military posture on the South China Sea, their cyberattacks and persecution of religious minorities, Scott Walker has called upon President Obama to "show some backbone" and cancel next month's state dinner with Chinese dictator Xi Jinping.

Of course, Obama will do no such thing. After all, Obama thinks its easier to be President of China than this country and would like pointers. But if today's tumble on the world markets has a lasting impact then perhaps pressure will be brought to bear on Obama to disinvite Xi. Again, this is an unlikely scenario unless Xi converts to Judaism and changes his name to Netanyahu. But it does look bad for Obama to welcome China with open arms at a time when China is stabbing this country in the backat every turn.

Walker: Trump Using Democratic Talking Points Against Me

By on 8.24.15 | 10:34AM

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker responded to charges leveled by Donald Trump that his state is “really in trouble” and “has not performed well” by arguing that Trump was simply “using the talking points of Democrats.”

Walker was able to respond to Trump in a matter of minutes as the two appeared back to back on ABC News This Week with George Stephanopoulos yesterday morning.

If Trump thinks Wisconsin is “really in trouble” and “has not performed well” then I think it is fair to ask how Trump would have approached public sector collective bargaining had he been Governor of Wisconsin. Does he stand with the people of Wisconsin or does he stand with the union bosses?

The Morning Spectacle: Happy Monday!

By on 8.24.15 | 5:30AM

Welcome to the inaugural edition of The Morning Spectacle, providing everything you need to face your week with a renewed cynicism.

In Our Sights:

Rand Paul has found a solution to his "Kentucky Problem," and can now run for Senate and for President at the same time — and he did it without even stepping foot in Kentucky. He's been in Haiti for the last few weeks doing free eye surgeries.

New York's Mayor Bill de Blasio has solved all of New York City's other problems, so he's now taking on Time Square's topless panhandlers. His solution: bulldozing Times Square, naturally.

Dirty Harry for Prez?

By on 8.23.15 | 12:07AM

If we’re going to nominate a celebrity, let’s nominate one more people like. I’d sure rather have Inspector Callahan than the Donald. The differences in their foreign policy is that the Donald would call Putin a loser. Squinty Clinty would call him a punk.

And it would make my day to hear Clint say to Donald in a presidential debate, “A man’s got to know his limitations.”

Mike Fiers Fires No-Hitter; Spoils Utley’s Dodger Debut

By on 8.21.15 | 11:14PM

Houston Astros pitcher Mike Fiers fired a no-hitter against the Los Angeles Dodgers spoiling the debut of Chase Utley who was acquired from the Phillies yesterday. Utley was in the lineup as the DH. The Astros won the game 3-0.

I saw the last four innings of Fiers' no-no on the MLB Network. He got stronger as the game went on. His curveball was breaking really sharp At one point he struck out five consecutive batters and ended the game by fanning Justin Turner. Fiers had 10 strikeouts in all. It was Fiers first career complete game and first win as a member of the Astros. He was acquired from the Milwaukee Brewers in the Carlos Gomez deal at the trade deadline. 

The Astros got their runs on a two run HR by Jake Marisnick in the 2nd and a solo shot by Evan Gattis in the sixth.

Two U.S. Servicemen Thwart Terror Attack on Train Bound for Paris — UPDATE

By on 8.21.15 | 8:03PM

Two U.S. Marines have thwarted a terror attack on a train bound from Amsterdam to Paris.

The Marines, dressed in civilian clothes, heard the suspect load a weapon in the bathroom and surprised him upon his exit. One of the Marines was seriously injured in the attack as were two other people. French authorities detained a yet to be identified suspect of Morrocan origin who it is safe to say does not subscribe to Presbyterianism. This suspect was armed with a Kalashnikov, a knife, an automatic pistol as well as cartridges. He is known to French authorities and is believed to be an ISIS sympathizer. The Marines were praised by French Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve who said they were “particularly courageous and showed great bravery in very difficult circumstances." Cazeneuve added: "Without their composure we could have been confronted with a terrible incident.” I shudder to think what could have happened if not for these Marines. They are heroes. Let's pray for a speedy recovery for the injured Marine.

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