The Spectacle Blog

Quick CISPA Survey

By on 4.18.13 | 11:26AM

1. Are you an American citizen?

   - “Yes.” (Congrats. Proceed to q.2)

   - “No.” (End questionnaire. Thanks. Gracias. Merci. Dankeschön.)

2. Do you value your civil liberties?

   - “Of course I do” (Thank goodness. Proceed to q.3)

   - “Nope.” (End questionnaire. Consider voting Democrat, or at least stumping for McCain/Graham ‘16.)

3. Concerned by collusion between big business and big government?

   - “Yep.” (Smart. Proceed to q.4)

   - “Nah.” (Huh. Fair enough. End questionnaire. Scoop up a copy of Tim Carney’s The Big Ripoff, immediately.)

4. Weirded out by the notion that government can access your private information and browsing history without a warrant?

   - “Uh, are you kidding?” (I wish. Proceed to q.5)

   - “I humbly submit myself to our benevolent federal overlords.” (End questionnaire. Lay prostrate. Consume soma ration.)

5. Find it odd that one single bill, CISPA, voids all previous internet privacy law?

  - “Yarp.” (I like the cut of your jib. Proceed to q.6)

  - “Narp.” (Shocked you made it this far, but end questionnaire. Close browser. Back away from computer. Proceed to nearest nearest mirror. Take long, hard look.)

6. Want to preserve internet freedom?

   - “Sure do! I like the internet so much, I’m on it right now!” (Perhaps you should call your congressman. Then proceed to q.7)

   - N/A

7. Now are you feeling festive?

   - “Sure am!” (Well, you could wish leading contra-CISPA crusader Rep. Justin Amash a happy 33rd birthday on twitter at @repjustinamash)

   - “Maybe some other time. (My birthday’s in June. Check back, and thanks in advance.)

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