The Spectacle Blog

Happy Bastille Day

By on 7.14.06 | 11:54AM

It seems like only yesterday when the French finally began a war, fought it heroically and defeated an enemy. Of course, the enemy was other Frenchmen, but you gotta give them credit for their one win. 217 years ago today, they stormed the Bastille. Yeah, whatever.

Today, of course, the French are still performing precisely as John Cleese and the Monty Python crew portrayed them in a couple of scenes in what we can only characterize as the unintentionally accurate "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." According to this report from al-Reuters, France condemned the Israeli action in Lebanon. The money quote:

French President Jacques Chirac said in a television interview: "One can ask oneself whether there isn't a sort of desire to destroy Lebanon. "I find, honestly, like most Europeans, that the reactions are completely disproportionate." Chirac also condemned Hizbollah for attacking Israel and firing rockets into the Jewish state. "These people are totally irresponsible," he said.

Tut, tut, monsewer Chirac. Disproportionate? And the Hizballah is only "irresponsible" when they murder and kidnap? ("Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.")

Let's all raise a toast to Bastille Day. With some excellent California or Washington State champagne, of course. And let us hope that in the president's diplomatic offensive this week, he made a secret agreement with Angela Merkel: the next time we fight the Germans, the loser has to keep France.

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