The Spectacle Blog

Jack for Senate

By on 3.6.06 | 11:04AM

By the way, speaking of the great Jack Nicklaus (as I did a few posts ago when talking about Tiger Woods), I have a very, very serious suggestion: Florida Republicans should evict the hopeless underdog Katherine Harris from the Senate race (okay, I know, she won't actually step down, but in my plan she would be outgunned regardless) by drafting Nicklaus as their Senate nominee. The man is a solid, commonsense conservative Republican; he can largely self-fund; he's a terrific speaker and has infinite grace under press questioning; he's incorruptible; he has a history of charitable work that makes it impossible to lable him a "heartless conservative"; and he's a living, breathing hero, fergoshsakes. Truth be told, I think he would be a shoo-in in Ohio, whereas in Florida he would start out probably as a 50-50 chance (which is better than Harris, who has almost no chance, it seems) -- but Ohio has an incumbent semi-Republican already on the ballot in Mike DeWine. Florida needs Jack; the U.S. Senate needs Jack; and please don't anybody tell me that I "don't know Jack (s..)" about the subject, because I'm sure Nicklaus would have a better chance than Rep. Harris. Run, Jack, run!!!

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