The Spectacle Blog

Tebowmania in the Land of Fughetaboutit!?

By on 3.21.12 | 5:24PM

It's not final, so I hold out hope the deal will fall through. But there's a better than even chance that Tim Tebow will be playing football next year in New Yawk, where he will fit in like a tarantula fits on top of a wedding cake.

The orthodox, Christian traditionalist Tebow would be subject to record culture shock as he tries to fit into the ultra-liberal, secularist, land of fughetaboutit and bada bing! If the Jets deal goes through, Tebow will go from the melting pot of Denver to the pressure cooker of New York.

Tebow's performance last year earned him a spot as a starter. But the Jets have just signed Mark Sanchez to a five-year, $68.5 million deal. So which of these two starters starts? The theory is  that Tebow would be a "package player" whose number will be called when a running offense is needed. This is no way for a very talented Tebow to fill out the rest of his game, or for Mark Sanchez to have any piece of mind to go with the millions he will be paid.

I hope Tebow goes elsewhere -- St. Louis or one of the Florida teams would be a better fit -- both for his sake and so that I can continue to pull for him. As a Son of the South I've never been able to pull for a New York team, not even for the Jets when their quarterback was Broadway Joe. I consider any baseball season a success if the Yankees don't make it to the World Series. This may have about it the stink of small ambition. But it's a habit of a lifetime and I'm helpless before it.

It's probably time for Tebow's co-religionists to pray for him. A very nice and very talented young man is in danger of becoming, to slightly revise novelist Robert Heinlein, a stranger in an even stranger land.

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