The Spectacle Blog

Aramis Ramirez Will Finish His Career With The Pirates

By on 7.23.15 | 10:04PM

The Milwaukee Brewers have traded third baseman Aramis Ramirez to the Pittsburgh Pirates for minor league pitcher Ynothan Barrios.

The Dominican born Ramirez signed with the Pirates at the age of 16 in 1994 and would make his big league debut in 1998. 

The Bucs traded Ramirez to the Cubs in 2003 along with Kenny Lofton and would come within five outs of winning a NL pennant and playing in a World Series. And, well, I won't go any further there. 

Ramirez remained with the Cubs through the 2011 season when he signed a four year deal with the Brewers. After hitting .300 with 27 HR and 105 RBI with Milwaukee in 2012, Ramirez's offensive production has declined.  In 81 games with the Brewers this season, Ramirez, now 37, is hitting .247 with 11 HR and 42 RBI. 

More Expensive Climate Nonsense

By on 7.23.15 | 6:32PM

The federal Environmental Protection Agency announced Thursday that it has awarded a $500,000 grant to Florida State University in Tallahassee to “improve understanding of the effects of climate change on indoor air quality.”

 A half-million bucks to learn that if it gets warmer outside it will likely get warmer inside? Please. No more hamming it up about those $2,000 hammers the Pentagon has bought.

The EPA should have sought more bids. Heck, I would have told them this for fifty bucks and a six-pack of Sam Adams.

Perhaps it’s time for a sharp grant writer to request a half-mil to study the effects of scientific hoaxes used to drive political agendas. But then I suspect the folks at EPA, in their devious and sustainable little hearts, already know a good deal about this.

In Praise of The Donald

By on 7.23.15 | 5:04PM

I confess that I am captivated by the rise of Donald Trump, and wonder just how much this reflects an admiration for him as opposed to a disgust at everyone else. I think the prospect of a Hillary vs. Jeb Bush contest must have something to do with it, but let’s just look at Trump by himself. The guy is an entrepreneur who built up a business empire on his own, who early on cut through red tape to build the Central Park skating rink, and who since then has made his way in spectacular fashion. What’s not to like about that?

Then there’s his flamboyance. I’m supposed to think that that’s a vice, when I contrast him to some of the gray characters in the Republican Party? Look, there’s something to be said for entertainment value.

Why We Should Send Obama to Earth 2.0

By on 7.23.15 | 4:49PM

NASA has evidently discovered an Earth-like planet about 1,400 light years away using its Kepler telescope.

This Earth 2.0 is evidently 60% larger than our Earth.

I say this is wonderful news and that we should offer to send President Obama over right away.

Upon Obama’s arrival on Earth 2.0, NASA could proclaim, “The Ego has landed.”

Gallup Poll: Climate Change Causes Pope’s Poll Numbers to Implode in U.S.

By on 7.23.15 | 4:37PM

Despite hysterical forecasts by some scientists, there’s been no empirical evidence of climate change for more than 18 years. But that has justchanged – dramatically.

In the time since Pope Francis this spring publicly embraced global warming as “real” and “man-made,” his popularity numbers in the Gallup Tracking Poll have plummeted by 17 points. Climate change, Gallup suggests, caused, in large part, that dramatic drop in papal approval.

Iran Now Getting Hundreds of Millions Per Month in Nuclear Deal

By on 7.23.15 | 3:47PM

Hell, if the Obama Administration were willing to give me a cool $700M per month, even I'd negotiate with John Kerry. I don't really know what we'd negotiate about but I'd certainly show up every day dressed to the nines, ready to nod a lot and look interested, which is basically what Iran did, anyway.

Lindsey Graham Burns Cell Phone in Effort to Stop Trump Calls

By on 7.23.15 | 3:25PM

This is unbelivably funny — and not just "unbelievably funny for Lindsey Graham" unbelievably funny — but I hate to tell Lindsey that you have to get a new cell phone number, not just a new cell phone in order to head off all those calls being placed to his device, since Trump aired his number on national television.

You should see it anyway:

Astros Make First Trade Deadline Move, Acquire Scott Kazmir From A’s

By on 7.23.15 | 3:16PM

The Houston Astros have struck first and thus begins the journey to MLB’s July 31st trade deadline. The Astros have acquired pitcher Scott Kazmir from the Oakland A’s for two minor leaguers, pitcher Daniel Megden and catcher Jacob Nottingham.

Don’t let Kazmir’s 5-5 record fool you. He has a sterling 2.38 ERA in 18 starts for a very bad Oakland team this season. I am a little surprised that this move was pulled off given that trades usually aren’t made within the same division. But this is a good deal. Kazmir joins a rotation that includes Dallas Keuchel, who started the All-Star Game for the AL earlier this month, as well as Collin McHugh who I watched overmatch the Red Sox last night. Although, then again, who isn’t overmatching the Red Sox these days? Throw 21-year old Lance McCullers into the mix and you’ve got quite the rotation.

I Hope Mark Teixeira Writes a Book About His ‘No-Fun’ Diet

By on 7.23.15 | 2:14PM

One of the key contributors to the resurgence of the New York Yankees in 2015 is first baseman Mark Teixeira. While Teixeira is batting a modest .256 his walks put his OBP to .361. Teixeira has blasted 24 HR and is tied for the AL lead in RBIs with 65 (along with Kansas City Royals DH Kendrys Morales, who himself is having a comeback season).

To put this into perspective, through 87 games this season Teixeira has more HR and RBI than he did in 123 games last season when he hit 22 HR and drove in 62 as his .216 batting average was barely above the Mendoza Line. Earlier this month, Teixeira played in his first All-Star Game since 2009. That season, which was Teixeira’s first with the Yankees, he led the AL in home runs and RBIs. The Yankees would go on to win the 2009 World Series. Can a healthy Teixeira lead the Yankees to another World Series? I sure hope not, but’s that another story.

DOJ To Investigate Center for Medical Progress, Not Planned Parenthood

By on 7.23.15 | 12:32PM

Usually these sort of political investigations take weeks to get started, but when you're dealing with the Holy Cathedral of Feminism's ability to perform it's most important sacrament, I suppose the wheels of justice turn more swiftly. 

The Department of Justice, which has said nothing about looking into whether Planned Parenthood is engaging in what appears to be an illicit trade in baby parts - let's face it, if they were really just asking for "reimbursements," they wouldn't be haggling over the amounts - they announced this morning that they're going to be investigating the Center for Medical Progress, the organization that taped Planned Parenthood senior executives chatting about "less crunchy" alternatives to crushing aborted fetuses wholesale, while sipping on a nice Chianti and listening to the Glenn Miller Orchestra. 

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