The Spectacle Blog

Delay’s Texas 22nd Goes Blue: Worse Ahead

By on 1.11.06 | 3:15PM

"Put not your trust in princes." -- Psalm 146

The Republican Party needs CENTCOM to mass 3rd Infantry Division at the District border and invade Washington to liberate the tyrannized American citizenry from the U.S. Congress. How bad is the Abramoff scandal? We may soon need a Coalition Provisional Authority to prepare for a transition from DeLayism to democracy.

The DOJ leak this morning that five members of Congress, Burns, Dorgan, Reid, Hayworth, Ney, are targeted by Team Abramoff at the Office of Public Integrity means that the road ahead is an insurgency fog. Expect obtuse Reid to fight like Uday Hussein in a palazzo, guns blazing, and to threaten to take Ensign of Nevada down with him in a hail for smoke grenades. Expect steroid-voiced Hayworth of Arizona to crusade to invade Mexico City and perhaps Havana in order to divert fury. Expect Burns to depart with incoherence and Dorgan to wrap himself in victimization. Ney is a road bump to the charging Coalition tanks.

Last evening I spoke to Gurwitz of the San Antonio Express-News with regard the DeLay troubles in Texas. Gurwitz dismissed the Earle launched Travis County indictment for campaign finance chicanery as junk; however he believes the Abramoff scandal has much weight in Texas eyes, and that DeLay is in deep trouble holding onto Texas 22nd District this November. Redistricted former congressman Democrat Nick Lampson is now in the race against DeLay, and Gurwitz says there is a wildfire building to turn the 22nd blue.

This early DeLay disintegration is the beginning of serious damage to the GOP's numbers in the House. Will the Abramoff scandal disgust all voters and make the mid terms a low turnout nightmare, or will both sides take enough hits to confuse the casualty rate?

The threat model is 1874, with the supremely opaque Grant in the President's mansion, and the all powerful Republican Party -- rotten with graft, gold manipulation, railroad scandals, party boss knuckleheadedness -- humiliated at the mid-term by a shrunken but monolithic Democrat vote in the restored South and the disgusted New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania districts. The Republican mascot of the (hysterically spooked charging) elephant dates from that fiasco.

My choice today is that we use armor to liberate the District and pull down the Senate and House office buildings, then raise a modest hand-painted banner, Mission Accomplished. We few, we happy few, will fight on from the hills. Long winter, check the water supply and matches. Liberty!

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