State of the Union drinking games are popular among young people watching the president’s address, but I’ve never been a “shots and RedBulls” kind of guy. Here’s a game for a more discerning palate. The rules are the same: If President Obama utters the phrase or performs the action in question, follow the instructions.
“Let Me Be Clear” — Whenever Obama clarifies, just to make sure those Republican rubes don’t misunderstand. E.g. “Let me be clear: I intend to ask Congress to both raise the debt ceiling and put in crown molding.”
Counter the president’s clarity with a cloudy beer, perhaps a nice German hefeweizen. (Might I recommend Weihenstephaner?)
“False Choice” — Whenever Obama rejects a false choice between two totally incongruous options. E.g. “I reject that we must choose between providing health care for every American—whether man, woman, dog, cat, iguana, or parakeet—and harsh laissez-faire social Darwinism in which man and woman are forced to eat dog, cat, iguana, and parakeet to stay alive.”
Make a drink with one spirit and the most random item you can find in your fridge. Whiskey and pickle juice. Vodka and maple syrup. Gin and mayonnaise. You get the idea.
“Bipartisan” — Whenever Obama suggests that the two parties should work together to pass one party’s agenda. E.g. “I expect Congress can work in a bipartisan manner this session to pass an omnibus gun-control-debt-ceiling-green-energy-tax-hike bill.”
Fill a pint glass half with any Budweiser product, and half with any Miller product.
“Green Jobs” — Whenever Obama suggests that we can get people off unemployment by training them to lubricate wind turbines and align solar panels.
Take a swig of absinthe. That way you and the president can hallucinate together.
“Elections Have Consequences” — Whenever Obama invokes the last election. E.g. “Republicans may not agree, but voters sided with me this past November.”
Weep sadly into a strong martini.
“The Embrace” — Whenever Obama shakes hands with or embraces Speaker John Boehner.
Have a black and tan, of course.
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