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The Spectacle Blog
Be careful with that Christmas eggnog, Corporal. Get too wide and you might never see sergeant’s stripes.
Apparently the Marine Corps has subbed out its fitness for duty evaluations to the Mothers Against Drunk Lance Corporals. It is clearly supposed among the testosterone-free civilians and the house-broken generals and admirals who run Acting Private Obama’s Department of Oh-So-Sensitive Defense that modern Gunnery Sergeants can no longer determine which lean, green fighting machine is fit for duty and which not. (Washington Times report here.)
The story above does not mention the new requirements that all Marines say “Mother, may I?” and submit to alcohol counseling before being admitted to the EM club. (With so many women in the Corps now, should that be Enlisted Persons Club?) Nor does it mention the new warning labels on cans and bottles of beer purchased there: “This substance could be dangerous to your career — wouldn’t you rather have a nice herbal tea and some celery sticks?”
My sources in the DOD and the White House tell me Obama, who clearly wants warriors with the hearts of trained gerbils, will soon put forward Nanny Bloomberg as the next Commandant of the Marine Corps.
In my seven decades I have known many Marines and former Marines, all of whom would treat this candy-ass development with the contempt it deserves. I would quote some of them here, but it would turn the air blue and cause wide-spread fainting among progressive readers.
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More Blog Posts by Larry Thornberry
http://spectator.org/blog/2012/12/22/sober-fi
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Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.22.12 @ 1:15PM
My recommendation, Mr. Thornberry, is that you limit your own imbibing on duty, as it were. When you initially posted this at 1145 a.m., paragraph 3,4 and 5 were the same as 6,7 and 8.
A bit of sober editing might have caught that error.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.23.12 @ 9:25AM
I see that the issue has been fixed. The buzz must have worn off.
Infantryman| 12.23.12 @ 8:24AM
One of our pleasent faculty duties at the Army War College in Carlisle Barracks was to take the morning lecturer to a luncheon with several students at the club. In this instance it was a wonderful, old English general who obviously knew his way around the troops. As we were walking over to the club, he lip smackingly told me he was really looking forward to a big scotch. It was my unpleasent duty to tell him the Chief of Staff of the Army had banned noontime hard liquor, but he could have some wine. His response, "Just how in hell are you going t0 win your wars?
Arbiter55| 12.23.12 @ 12:08PM
What do you expect, with an air-winger for Commandant?
Chesty must be spinning in his grave.
Occam's Tool| 12.23.12 @ 11:34PM
One day, we will decide to fight our wars to win again. Keep in mind carefully, sirs, what it took to win the last war we won, WWII. No nancy boys.
RCV| 12.24.12 @ 3:52PM
Nice talk from a psychiatrist, Occam!
Occam's Tool| 12.25.12 @ 11:52AM
I trained in a VA, RCV. I'm a realist. Winning is a horror; losing is a greater one.
Quartermaster| 12.27.12 @ 9:59AM
Nothing is as sad than a battle won, or more sad than a battle lost. Paraphrased from the Brit General who won at Waterloo and whose name escapes my post Christmas brain.
Frog in Uniform | 12.24.12 @ 2:20AM
It is a well known fact that most soldiers fought while under influence. Leaving the relative safety of a trench to join a bayonet charge required about 1 full cup of rum or brandy, AND the officers leading the charge.