The Spectacle Blog
John Tabin’s note about Mitt Romney’s win in American Samoa — Mormons in Samoa? Who knew? — is proof that Ron Paul is right: The United States has paid a terrible price for its overseas expansionism, going back to the McKinley administration.
Ever since Guam went unanimously for Romney, I’ve begun to regret the U.S. victory in the Spanish-American War, just as Mitt’s win in Florida made me realize we should have left Florida to the Seminoles, the Spanish and the alligators. But while it may be too late to sell Florida back to Spain — with their debt problems, the Spanish couldn’t afford it — there’s still a chance we could rid ourselves of those pesky Pacific Island territories that keep voting for the wrong candidate.
Guam, American Samoa, the Northern Marianas Islands — sell them all to China!
We could arrange a swap, letting Beijing have those isolated atolls and archipelagos in exchange for a reduction in whatever share of our national debt is held by the Chinese.
Of course, these territorial acquisitions might cause headaches for the ChiCom dictatorship. But once they’ve rounded up the Romney delegates and shipped those troublemakers off to forced-labor camps, I’m sure the People’s Republic will be pleased with their glorious new Pacific empire. What could possibly go wrong?
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Derek Leaberry| 3.14.12 @ 5:12PM
The Spanish-American War was one of the several stupid wars the United States has entered. To fix that, Puerto Rico, Guam and Samoa should be given their independence. It's a case of better for us, better for them. Each of the three would regain their honor by assuming the maturity of an sovereign nation. And the US would be rid of three Third World backwaters that consume more from the budget than produce.
Bob| 3.15.12 @ 12:31AM
To be fair, the Puerto Ricans have held votes on the issue numerous times and they can't decide whether they want to become a state or become an independent country, so they stay as an American territory. Besides, Puerto Rico loves to go around saying they are their own country, while still having the perks of mooching off the government.
Romney| 3.15.12 @ 2:53AM
So, Mr.McCain, who do you support? The thrice-married Newt or the santimonious Santorum?
C Bowen | 3.14.12 @ 6:00PM
Package deal with Puerto Rico and Hawaii, and I am on board.
Seriously, have we not had enough trouble with Hawaii?
Drek| 3.14.12 @ 6:18PM
Don't go knocking Western Pacific islands, and island chains, especially in as much as you and your family might be taking up your ambassadorship soon.....................
Clint| 3.14.12 @ 6:39PM
While The Dow is up over 13,000, which was last reached in 2007 and The u-3 unemployment Rate is at 8.3, a figure that is the same, as Obama's first full month in office, The Republican Party is debating social conservative & foreign policy issues, to the detriment of the fiscal & monetary issues, which will be why Americans vote their wallets again, due to the, " It's The Economy, Stupid" factor.
The Stupid Party needs to wake up or we get McCain Redux.
The Tea Party Rebellion Heads To A Brokered Convention.
Bob| 3.15.12 @ 12:34AM
The Republican Party is only debating social conservative issues because the radical left diverted attention away from the economy with their contraception deception. And their debating foreign policy issues because problems with Syria and Iran are causing gas prices to go up, giving Americans real problems at the pump and straining an already weak economy.
Clint| 3.15.12 @ 8:09AM
Do Your Homework.
" Some oil refineries in the U.S. were closing, according to an EIA report. Third, oil and gas prices tend to rise every spring, in anticipation of increased demand during the summer driving vacation season. As a result, gas prices hit the benchmark $3.50 a gallon by February 15, two weeks earlier than in 2011. By early March, the national average had jumped to $3.71 a gallon. That's because the price of oil reached its benchmark of $100 a barrel two weeks earlier, as well. Oil went on to hit $109.77 by the end of February, before dropping slightly to $106.55 in early March. (Source: EIA)"
The Tea Party Rebellion Heads To A Brokered Convention.
Mender| 3.14.12 @ 9:10PM
Why stop there-isn't selling the unprofitable parts of a concern off what Romney used to do for a living?
I think we'd want to keep Alaska for the oil and the strategic position, but selling Kansas off to the PRC would be no loss. Or maybe ask Apple what they'd give for North Dakota?
SamoanMaster | 3.14.12 @ 9:28PM
So instead of the US owning these pacific territories, you want to turn them all over to China so Pacific Islanders now become the American master since China holds all our debt?
Our public education at work!
C Burke| 3.14.12 @ 9:51PM
As a pacific islander... It angered me to read this piece. I consider my vote as important as you would consider yours. You may be joking around but I'm certainly not.
JJ| 3.15.12 @ 12:32PM
He is being sarcastic.
C Burke| 3.15.12 @ 12:47PM
Sarcastic or not, its still offensive to me.
Bob| 3.15.12 @ 12:25AM
How dare those Samoans vote for Romney.
Do you SMELL what The Rock is cooking?
Bo Darville| 3.15.12 @ 10:20AM
If these islands are full of good Republican voting Mormons, I say give them full statehood. We need all the electoral votes and senators we can get.
JJ| 3.15.12 @ 12:31PM
Funny, if you vote for a Catholic over a Mormon you are being a bigot, but if you pick a Mormon over a Catholic, you are just supporting one of your guys.
Con| 3.15.12 @ 12:46PM
Wrong! I vote for whom ever is the better candidate and not based on who or what they worship!
LMM| 3.15.12 @ 9:43PM
How about discussing some details of the economy rather than simply bashing every Republican that doesn't agree with you 100%.