The Spectacle Blog

Joe Biden Discovers Ladyfolk Can Program Computers, Too

By on 12.8.14 | 1:49PM

President Obama and Vice President Joe Biden celebrated today's "Hour of Code," encouraging students to learn computer code and engineering, by interacting with a group of middle school students from Newark, NJ, learning how to create basic computer programs. While the President listened intently to the kids as they explained what they were working on, Joe Biden helpfully demonstrated that his smartphone had more power in it than the computers used in the Apollo space program, and then waxed poetic about female equality in the sciences.

No word on whether Biden was trying to convince the girls or himself. Fortunately, the girls were unfazed, and, now comforted in knowing that no only was Biden correct, but that he had provided them with at least one clear example of their intellectual superiority, went back to their work. 

 

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Mary Landrieu’s Loss Was Hilariously Terrible

By on 12.8.14 | 1:46PM

Obviously, we all know what's actually responsible for Mary Landrieu's Senate loss - racism - but what we haven't discussed is exactly how terribly Mary Landrieu performed in her runoff against Bill Cassidy. We should, because the 9th Senate seat pickup for Republicans wasn't just a subtle, narrow win on the heels of a much larger national trend. It was the kind of delicious, total walloping that comes around perhaps only once a cycle, if that. The only close thing in recent memory, that I can think of, was that time I agreed to do a shot of blue alcohol every time Mitt Romney lost a swing state in 2012.

Anyway, here are some of the gorier details

— Cassidy won 49 of Louisiana's 64 parishes. Six years ago, when Landrieu defeated Republican John Kennedy without a runoff, the Democratic senator carried 38 parishes.

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Obama Must Accept Responsibility For The Death of Luke Somers

By on 12.7.14 | 12:00AM

In his statement concerning the death of American photojournalist Luke Somers in a failed rescue mission by Navy SEALS in Yemen, President Obama said, "It is my highest responsibility to do everything possible to protect American citizens."

And when those efforts fall short it is incumbent upon President Obama to accept responsibility for failure.

Let us not forget how Obama and those who supported him constantly reminded us how he was responsible for the death of Osama bin Laden. Remember the slogan, "Osama bin Laden is dead; GM is alive."

Yes, Obama gave the order to kill bin Laden. But Obama also gave the order to rescue Luke Somers. 

If President Obama is going to take credit for our military's success, he must also accept responsibility when our military's failure.

Unfortunately, accepting responsiblity has never been President Obama's strongsuit.

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Obama Admin Considering Sanctions Against Israel

By on 12.6.14 | 8:07PM

The Obama Administration is reportedly considering sanctions against Israel over the construction of settlements in Jerusalem. 

It's not like these settlements would end up being part of a future Palestinian state . None of that matters. This is about sticking it to Israel.

This is the same Obama Administration that is actively opposing any further sanctions against Iran in the vain hope of obtaining a nuclear agreement. 

However, I don't expect the Obama Administration to embark upon any sanctions until after Israel's elections in March. If the Obama Administration were to do that then Israeli voters would close ranks around Netanyahu. The last thing Obama wants is a strong Bibi. 

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Scandal Envy

By on 12.5.14 | 5:18PM

The burning issue today is who raped Lena Dunham. And who raped the U.Va. co-ed. Personally, I blame Benghazi. It all comes down to scandal envy. We’ve had a good run, those of us on the Right: Benghazi, Obamacare, Fast-and-Furious, take your pick of scandals, and this was bound to annoy people on the Left. So they need their own scandals, their own narratives. Mind you, I’m talking about narratives, not facts. Nor guilt or innocence. As Alan Dershowitz once said, people on the Left think that rape is so awful a crime that facts shouldn’t get in the way, that innocence shouldn’t be a defense.

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Can Cash Carry Rays to a World Series Title?

By on 12.5.14 | 4:50PM

The Tampa Bay Rays have named Kevin Cash their new manager. Cash succeeds Joe Maddon who abruptly resigned in October and subsequently was hired to manage the Chicago Cubs.

Cash beat out former Seattle Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu, who is presently on the AL champion Kansas City Royals' coaching staff. The recently retired Raul Ibanez was also in the running, but withdrew yesterday to due family matters. Rays longtime bench coach Dave Martinez had been in the running, but he was considered too close to Maddon and was passed over. Not surprisingly, Martinez has now reunited with Maddon in Wrigley.

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Rolling Stone Withdraws Explosive Story of UVA Rape

By on 12.5.14 | 2:48PM

With a note to readers saying that their trust in the accuser was "misplaced" and that there now seem to be "discrepancies in her account," Rolling Stone magazine has retracted a dramatic "investigative" article claiming that a young woman nicknamed Jackie was gang-raped at a University of Virginia fraternity party in September 2012.

The fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi - which was vandalized after the article was published - has issued a statement rebutting the article, including that there was no party at the frat house on the night in question.

The story, violent and heart-wrenching, played into the worst fears of Americans about the so-called epidemic of sexual assaults on college campuses around the country -- something which seems to be manufactured by ludicrous definitions of what qualifies as sexual assault. (This is not to downplay the harm of true sexual assaults.)

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Barack and Michelle Obama’s Romance May Be Headed to the Big Screen

By on 12.5.14 | 2:43PM

These days, the only people who seem remotely satisfied with Barack Obama's job performance are people living in beachfront mansions on the California coast. Even actual Communists and socialists have taken to things like social media to express their deep regret that the guy who promised to even the playing field has, in fact, been more inept on the subject of income inequality than Scrooge McDuck. They may as well have run Paul Krugman, if they could pry him away from his cats.

But, as I noted, Hollywood is still deeply in love with their President. Gwyneth Paltrow probably has an autographed photo of Barack hanging above her bed, so that it's the first thing she sees when she awakens from slumber in her bed that costs more than you'll make in a decade. George Clooney likely considers Barack the third person in his marriage, and while everyone has long forgotten Barack and Michelle's fairytale romance, as loosely-source campaign propaganda, Hollywood is, apparently, greenlighting movie about their Chicago courtship that will begin filming in July.

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Everything is Terrible, So Here’s Barack Obama Awkwardly Dancing with Santa

By on 12.5.14 | 2:26PM

Is it just me, or has this been the longest week in history? Literally, everything is terrible. I don't even know why. 

Anywayyyy, since I have not yet figured out how to click my heels together and dramatically change the entire political landscape, thus rendering me your benevolent dictator, here's a video I found of Barack Obama dancing awkwardly with Santa Claus at the National Christmas Tree lighting ceremony that took place last night. Pay special attention to the 'thumbs up, overbite move" he does.

Oh, and you're welcome, America.

And if you're wondering, the Obama daughters did look like they enjoyed this cheesy holiday tradition, at least.

Have a happy Friday, everyone!

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Didi Gregorius Has Some Awfully Big Shoes to Fill at Yankee Stadium

By on 12.5.14 | 12:54PM

If you've never heard of Didi Gregorius before, you're going to hear an awful lot about him now because it appears he will be replacing Derek Jeter at shorstop for the New York Yankees.

The Yankees have reportedly concluded a three way trade between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Detroit Tigers. The Yankees dealt pitcher Shane Greene to the Tigers while the Tigers traded pitcher Robbie Ray to the D'Backs who in turn deal Gregorius to the Yankees.

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