Welcome to the inaugural edition of The Morning Spectacle, providing everything you need to face your week with a renewed cynicism.
In Our Sights:
Rand Paul has found a solution to his "Kentucky Problem," and can now run for Senate and for President at the same time — and he did it without even stepping foot in Kentucky. He's been in Haiti for the last few weeks doing free eye surgeries.
New York's Mayor Bill de Blasio has solved all of New York City's other problems, so he's now taking on Time Square's topless panhandlers. His solution: bulldozing Times Square, naturally.