A few years ago, when we were struggling through a shutdown that impacted a whopping 2% of government services, Starbucks Barista-in-Chief Howard Schultz, whose management of the coffee company is just slightly better than his management of the Seattle Supersonics, decided that the time had come to use Starbucks's most powerful weapon - writing the occasionally misspelled phrase on a paper cup - to bridge the partisan debate.
In a move that convinced absolutely nobody to embrace a bipartisan solution to the shutdown crisis, Starbucks baristas across DC began writing "Come Together" on cups of coffee dispensed to Congressmen and their staffs. It quickly became a running gag, and Starbucks has since taken a hiatus from interfering in the day to day lives of everyday Americans whose names they often can't even pronounce correctly.
Until now. Now, they're taking their coffee-marking scheme nationwide in a bid to encourage the legions of white liberals who pay $5 per cup for subpar espresso drinks to improve race relations, by scrawling "Race Together" on their cups.