
Having volunteered as the Spectator’s go-to guy on the
Charlie Sheen meltdown watch, I feel obligated to pass along
the
latest update:
Charlie Sheen might have had a “winning” weekend filled with
Internet shows and Twitter action, but, according to a source, the
actor lost a goddess in the process.
A source told Access Hollywood that Sheen’s goddess,
Bree Olson - whose real name is Rachel Oberlin - has left
the actor.
The actor addressed her departure during his online web series,
“Sheen’s Korner” over the weekend.
“Everybody’s wondering where the other half to this beautiful
goddess union might be, she um she had to go take care of some
business, I won’t say where,” Sheen said on the uStream broadcast.
“Do we know where she went? Well, of course we do. Just in a little
town in the middle of America… we love you, we miss you.”
Despite a report over the weekend that Sheen and his missing
goddess had reconciled, the source close to Sheen told
Access that the 24-year-old adult film star was
still gone and not coming back.
The phrase “adult film star” rather over-glamorizes
Oberlin/Olson’s ouevre. Much of her … uh, body
of work is available for free on the Internet. Sheen had
bestowed the label “goddesses” on Oberlin and another
24-year-old, Natalie Kenly. He had previously announced
plans to marry both of them.
Speaking of marriage, Sheen’s third ex-wife, Brooke Mueller is
reportedly prepared to go to court to
keep custody of the couple’s two young sons: “Brooke absolutely
does not want Charlie’s girlfriends present when the children are
at his house and wants someone there to monitor the kids’
visits at all times.”
Meanwhile, after the disastrous Saturday debut of his Internet
“Sheen’s Korner” show, Sheen took to the ‘Net again Sunday night
with a bizarre obscenity-filled 13-minute
video rant: “All I’m gonna give them is the [bleeping]
truth, and I’m gonna deliver it in a way that’s violent and focused
and not like they’re used to ever because they’re high on vaccines,
and McDonald’s, and US Weekly, and TMZ and every
other [bleeping expletive] brand of food that they consume….
So I’m just gonna write my sermons. I’m gonna deliver them like
truth torpedos and people are gonna [bleeping] take it or leave it.
We know they’re gonna take it ‘cause they can’t process it, so they
must condemn it. If they can’t condemn it, they’ll [bleeping]
like turn me into a God and worship it and then realize I’m behind
them cutting their throats and their children.”
Keep in mind that this gibbering lunatic was the
world’s highest-paid television actor, collecting more than
$40 million a year to star in the top-rated show on TV. They say
money can’t buy happiness. Apparently, it can’t buy sanity,
either.
UPDATE:
A terse statement from Warner Brothers: After careful
consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie
Sheen’s services on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ effective
immediately.”
So no more hit TV show, and no more porn goddess. How’s that
“winning” workin’ out for ya, Charlie?